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{"id":431,"date":"2011-08-22T11:52:14","date_gmt":"2011-08-22T15:52:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/myislamiclife.wordpress.com\/?p=431"},"modified":"2011-08-22T11:52:14","modified_gmt":"2011-08-22T15:52:14","slug":"awkward-questions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/myislamiclife\/2011\/08\/22\/awkward-questions\/","title":{"rendered":"Awkward Questions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

To be honest, I can\u2019t remember what exactly we did over the last weekend with the exception of going to an\u00a0Iftar\u00a0and my Halaka.<\/p>\n

After\u00a0Jummah\u00a0prayers on Friday, there was an announcement for a community\u00a0Iftar\u00a0at the mosque on Saturday. \u00a0I waited until after all of the Sunnah prayers were finished and I approached one of the ladies who always says hello to me to ask about the Iftar Dinner. \u00a0I have only been to a handful of\u00a0Iftars\u00a0in the time we have been together, and most recently within the last 4 years. \u00a0Most of them are private events, where we are invited by friends to their homes or a hall they have rented. We have sponsored and participated in our own\u00a0dinners, but we\u2019ve never attended a community\u00a0Iftar. \u00a0The point being, is that I didn\u2019t know what to bring!<\/p>\n

So, I asked. \u00a0Do we bring a main dish, do we bring drinks or do we bring dessert?<\/p>\n

We bring dessert.<\/p>\n

Ok.<\/p>\n

So, we made Strawberry Trifle. \u00a0Our recipe actually ends up filling 2 bowls, so we brought both. \u00a0It ended up being a great thing that we had the two bowls because the men and women were eating completely apart.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a bit sick of the segregation at this point. \u00a0I know maybe, 4 people there, and no one is able to sit next to each other. \u00a0I ended up sitting with my daughters in a room where we were the only people speaking English. \u00a0I really don\u2019t like eating separate from my husband and son. \u00a0I don\u2019t understand why we couldn\u2019t eat with our families.<\/p>\n

The night was a mixed bag of uncomfortable interactions, but the highlight of the night was when a\u00a0hijabi\u00a0lady (who was wearing jeans and a button down men\u2019s\u00a0oxford\u00a0shirt) questioned why I was there.<\/p>\n

I was in line for the dessert buffet with both of my daughters when a lady cut into line ahead of them and turned around and asked their names. \u00a0They answered politely, and then she looked up and asked me where I was from. \u00a0So, I responded.<\/p>\n

Then she proceeded to ask me if I was Muslim. \u00a0I am wearing Abaya, I am wearing the\u00a0Insha\u2019Allah\u00a0necklace<\/a>, I have subtle makeup and my shoes are off. \u00a0I am with my daughters, one of whom chose to wear hijab that night. \u00a0WHY did she feel the need to question my religion? \u00a0I answered her that my family is Muslim. \u00a0She looked directly at me, and asked the same question again. \u00a0\u201cAre\u00a0you\u00a0Muslim?\u201d\u00a0There was no reason for this question, aside from making me feel uncomfortable, so I answered her WHY? \u00a0Just \u201cWHY?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shut up, turned back to cutting in front of my daughters and got her sweets and didn\u2019t talk to us again. \u00a0But that was the icing on the cake. \u00a0I was\u00a0soo\u00a0pissed! \u00a0I wanted to leave, I wanted to make her feel just as unwelcome as I had felt the whole evening. \u00a0But I stayed. \u00a0I placated my daughter, who noticed that the rude lady had cut in line, and we ate our dessert. \u00a0Shortly afterwards, it was time to go.<\/p>\n

The whole reason for attending this\u00a0Iftar\u00a0was to help our children get used to the people in the community, to feel more comfortable, to be part of the whole.<\/p>\n

I feel like it was a failure on all fronts. \u00a0From the\u00a0women\u2019s\u00a0side.<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"