{"id":687,"date":"2012-03-06T12:23:15","date_gmt":"2012-03-06T17:23:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/myislamiclife.wordpress.com\/?p=687"},"modified":"2012-03-06T12:23:15","modified_gmt":"2012-03-06T17:23:15","slug":"thats-not-appropriate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/myislamiclife\/2012\/03\/06\/thats-not-appropriate\/","title":{"rendered":"That&#8217;s Not Appropriate."},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.moda.com\/fashion-history\/50s-red-black-lace-party-cocktail-dress-3.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft\" title=\"dress\" src=\"https:\/\/www.moda.com\/fashion-history\/50s-red-black-lace-party-cocktail-dress-3.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"203\" height=\"288\"><\/a>Just a little over a year ago, Khaled and I were invited to an event where I would need a formal dress. \u00a0Never having been invited to something like this in the 20+ years apres prom, I went to the advise of my family and friends on Facebook. \u00a0The opinions varied, and during the shopping trip I posted photos of the contenders. \u00a0Not being able to decide, I brought 2 dresses home. \u00a0One was a full length ball gown, the other, a knee-length cocktail dress.<\/p>\n<p>I ended up wearing the ball gown, because it is always better to be over dressed, than under. \u00a0At the event, I was 1 of 2 women in a floor length gown. \u00a0It didn\u2019t matter, I felt proper and we had a nice time.<\/p>\n<p>I kept the cocktail dress because I thought I\u2019d have an event to wear it to within the next year or so and it was a great dress that fit perfect.<\/p>\n<p>About 2 weeks ago, Khaled informed me that we had been invited again to the event. \u00a0I was unruffled this time around because I knew that everyone would be wearing knee-length cocktail dresses and I already had one. \u00a0I was set! \u00a0The only thing left was to get some jewelry to go with the outfit, and figure out my hair (I\u2019ve been growing it out, so I have options now!)<\/p>\n<p>Last weekend, I tried on the dress to make sure that it fit the way I wanted. \u00a0It fit amazing. \u00a0I felt confidant, I felt like I was owning that dress. \u00a0I put on my shoes, I walked downstairs, and I heard \u201cooohs\u201d and \u201cahhhs.\u201d \u00a0Kate told me \u201cMom, You look so pretty!\u201d \u00a0Khaled gave me \u2018the look\u2019 of approval. \u00a0I was chatting away about how all I had to do was figure out the jewelry and the hair and I didn\u2019t have to worry this year.<\/p>\n<p>Then a small voice spoke up. \u201cMommy, that dress isn\u2019t appropriate.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Pea spoke up. \u00a0\u201cMommy, you can\u2019t wear that dress.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I, looked at Pea, shocked\u2026then upset. \u00a0\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLook Mommy, it doesn\u2019t go past your knees.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then I looked, and sure enough, it didn\u2019t cover my knees completely. \u00a0In fact, it hit just at the top of my knees. \u00a0Still appropriate for my age, but not appropriate for the mother of Muslim ladies.<\/p>\n<p>I then told Pea, \u201cWell, it\u2019s appropriate for me.\u201d \u00a0And I went to change.<\/p>\n<p>The next morning, I was getting dressed and the conversation played over and over in my head. \u00a0I developed a sinking feeling in my gut. \u00a0I\u2019m not okay with this. \u00a0I\u2019m not okay with this double standard. \u00a0This is not what I want to be teaching my ladies.<\/p>\n<p>I texted Khaled. \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m not going to be able to wear my dress.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It still brings tears to my eyes. \u00a0Not that I often wear dresses like this. \u00a0Most often, I will choose the longest skirt, the longest dress and then layer it with a sweater or a button up shirt, jacket like. \u00a0But every once in a while, when the stars align right and I feel good about my body, and confidant enough to rock out a sexy number when I\u2019m on a date with Khaled, I do. \u00a0Over this last weekend, with Pea\u2019s small but mighty voice, I feel like I\u2019ve lost that part of me.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know where to go with this. \u00a0I\u2019m not sure what to do now. \u00a0I don\u2019t know how much of my date wardrobe is now unacceptable because I can\u2019t bring myself to go through it. \u00a0I don\u2019t know how this will bleed into my every day clothing choices. \u00a0I don\u2019t know how this will change my sense of style and \u2026SIGH. \u00a0I don\u2019t know how to explain it.<\/p>\n<p>I told the ladies that Pea was right. \u00a0I would not be wearing the dress to the fancy party. \u00a0I apologized to them for snapping at them, saying it was okay for me. \u00a0I explained that I was so very disappointed that the dress was inappropriate because I really, really, really wanted to wear it. \u00a0I thanked Pea for telling me. \u00a0I hope that they have learned something from this. \u00a0I know I have.<\/p>\n<p>Happy Tuesday.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Just a little over a year ago, Khaled and I were invited to an event where I would need a formal dress. \u00a0Never having been invited to something like this in the 20+ years apres prom, I went to the advise of my family and friends on Facebook. \u00a0The opinions varied, and during the shopping [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2860,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4,6],"tags":[31,53,56,94,116,140,169,175,182],"class_list":["post-687","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog-posts","category-in-the-house","category-personal","tag-american-muslim","tag-children","tag-clothing","tag-family","tag-growth","tag-islam","tag-mosque","tag-muslim","tag-non-muslim"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>That&#039;s Not Appropriate.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Just a little over a year ago, Khaled and I were invited to an event where I would need a formal dress. \u00a0Never having been invited to something like this\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, 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