no<\/em> to everything. It\u2019s as though the world is divided into martyrs and slackers.<\/p>\nThe truth of the matter is that when I am filling every part of my life with busyness and meeting everyone\u2019s needs and am resentful and bitter and self-righteous about it all, it sure doesn\u2019t feel like I\u2019m \u201cmore spiritual\u201d or \u201cmore Christian\u201d than the guy who spends all his time avoiding commitment so he can entertain himself to death.\u00a0 Yet at the same time, one of the biggest lies that surrounds us is that if we \u201cget all our needs met\u201d then we will be happy.\u00a0 When the need for \u00a0pedicures and a new boyfriend and the latest gadget and lots of \u201cme\u201d time and more money is met then we will pull the lever and the jackpot of human happiness will pour out onto the floor.<\/p>\n
What is really twisted is how I can basically turn almost any form of selfishness magically into being a virtue if I just call it \u201cself-care\u201d.<\/p>\n
And at the same time, there are weeks in my life where stopping everything and just spending an afternoon going to a movie so that I don\u2019t totally burn out and lose it is the best thing I can do for myself, my church, and my family.<\/p>\n
Some of us need to know how to say no to what is not really ours to do.\u00a0 And some of us need to know how to say yes to what might be ours to do, we just don\u2019t feel like doing it. And most of us are both of these people.<\/p>\n
But any yes that results in a feeling of self-righteousness or resentment of others is not the spiritual practice kind of yes.\u00a0 It\u2019s just another form of self-centeredness when I think I am better than others because I am so selfless.<\/em><\/p>\nSo, I wonder if maybe freedom<\/strong> and gratitude<\/strong>, and NOT guilt, co-dependancy, self-hatred and self-righteousness might be the best sources for healthy \u201cyeses\u201d<\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
So here are some yes examples:<\/p>\n
There\u2019s saying yes because I need to escape my own self-centeredness and it\u2019s a blessed relief to think about someone else for awhile.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s saying yes, for example, to cleaning up after church because it might not be my joy, it might just be my turn.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s saying yes to giving away 10% of my income because it frees me from that amount of money and releases it into the world where it\u2019s less likely to be hoarded or used to indulge myself and more likely to do good.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s saying yes because I\u2019m so grateful for what I have and I have to give it away to keep it (my church, forgiveness, sobriety etc)<\/p>\n
There\u2019s saying yes because community is at its best when everyone does their part to support what they believe in (Thanks NPR!)<\/p>\n
here\u2019s the best one:<\/p>\n
There\u2019s saying yes because it is an act of freedom and a response to God\u2019s yes.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\n <\/strong><\/p>\nIf anyone ever figures out how to get all of this right, please let me know.\u00a0 Also, if you attend a church, for the love of God, please say yes to giving money and helping to clean up. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Yesterday I wrote a blog post about the spiritual practice of saying \u201cno\u201d.\u00a0 I stand behind the suggestion that there is value in discerning what is ours to do and what is not ours to do and that a growing self-awareness around why we say yes or no is a good thing. The other side […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":59,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[18,19,21,17],"class_list":["post-221","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-lent2012","tag-saying-no","tag-saying-yes","tag-spiritual-practices"],"yoast_head":"\n
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![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/20\/2012\/03\/woman-yes.jpg\" "\\"woman-yes\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\n