don't let anyone rush your grief<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Don't let anyone rush your grief! You've left the church. That's heavy! Grieve it. Feel it to the full. Go ahead and deny that it hurts. Then bawl your\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"don't let anyone rush your grief\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Don't let anyone rush your grief! You've left the church. That's heavy! Grieve it. Feel it to the full. Go ahead and deny that it hurts. Then bawl your\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"nakedpastor\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-07-26T22:00:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"David Hayward\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"David Hayward\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/\",\"name\":\"don't let anyone rush your grief\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-07-26T22:00:03+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-07-26T22:00:03+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/#\/schema\/person\/b03e284877607fc17deb854c047e58d9\"},\"description\":\"Don't let anyone rush your grief! You've left the church. That's heavy! Grieve it. Feel it to the full. Go ahead and deny that it hurts. Then bawl your\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"don’t let anyone rush your grief\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/\",\"name\":\"nakedpastor\",\"description\":\"David Hayward: grafitti artist on the walls of religion.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/#\/schema\/person\/b03e284877607fc17deb854c047e58d9\",\"name\":\"David Hayward\",\"description\":\"David Hayward runs the blog nakedpastor as a graffiti artist on the walls of religion where he critiques religion\u2026 specifically Christianity and the church. He also runs the online community The Lasting Supper where people can help themselves discover, explore and live in spiritual freedom. gading88 gading 88 login togel sgp 2d togel sdy 2d gading88 daftar gading88 login togel taiwan 2d gading 88 games gading 88 gading88 slot Playz Store\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/niimi.5374.jp\/\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/author\/david\/\"}]}<\/script>\n","yoast_head_json":{"title":"don't let anyone rush your grief","description":"Don't let anyone rush your grief! You've left the church. That's heavy! Grieve it. Feel it to the full. Go ahead and deny that it hurts. Then bawl your","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"don't let anyone rush your grief","og_description":"Don't let anyone rush your grief! You've left the church. That's heavy! Grieve it. Feel it to the full. Go ahead and deny that it hurts. Then bawl your","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/","og_site_name":"nakedpastor","article_published_time":"2012-07-26T22:00:03+00:00","author":"David Hayward","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"David Hayward","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/","name":"don't let anyone rush your grief","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-07-26T22:00:03+00:00","dateModified":"2012-07-26T22:00:03+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/#\/schema\/person\/b03e284877607fc17deb854c047e58d9"},"description":"Don't let anyone rush your grief! You've left the church. That's heavy! Grieve it. Feel it to the full. Go ahead and deny that it hurts. Then bawl your","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"don’t let anyone rush your grief"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/","name":"nakedpastor","description":"David Hayward: grafitti artist on the walls of religion.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/#\/schema\/person\/b03e284877607fc17deb854c047e58d9","name":"David Hayward","description":"David Hayward runs the blog nakedpastor as a graffiti artist on the walls of religion where he critiques religion\u2026 specifically Christianity and the church. He also runs the online community The Lasting Supper where people can help themselves discover, explore and live in spiritual freedom. gading88 gading 88 login togel sgp 2d togel sdy 2d gading88 daftar gading88 login togel taiwan 2d gading 88 games gading 88 gading88 slot Playz Store","sameAs":["http:\/\/niimi.5374.jp\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/author\/david\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11781","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/349"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11781"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11781\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11781"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11781"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11781"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

{"id":11781,"date":"2012-07-26T18:00:03","date_gmt":"2012-07-26T22:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nakedpastor.com\/?p=11781"},"modified":"2012-07-26T18:00:03","modified_gmt":"2012-07-26T22:00:03","slug":"dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2012\/07\/dont-let-anyone-rush-your-grief\/","title":{"rendered":"don’t let anyone rush your grief"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Grieving is an important and necessary step after any kind of loss. You have to grieve when you lose your favourite pen. You have to grieve when you lose your loved one. Of course they are on a different scale, but grief is a part of the process of responding to loss.<\/p>\n

Is there an appropriate length of time for grief? I don\u2019t think so. But let\u2019s take me for an example. I lose my favourite pen. I can\u2019t find it. There\u2019s nothing I can seem to do to get it back. It is gone. Forever. My response has been anything from denial, bargaining, anger, depression, to hopefully and finally a sense of peace.* After all, I can go back out and buy another one. Maybe that grieving response took\u2026 I don\u2019t know\u2026 15 minutes.<\/p>\n

But what if I lose a loved one? The same stages of grief apply, but they will take longer. It will take a much longer time for me to eventually and hopefully reach the stage of peace. But this depends on a lot of factors too. How close was I to this loved one? Were we living together? For how long? How dependent was I on this person? How much did he mean to me? Were we estranged when we were separated? And so on. You might grieve for a year. Or maybe 10 years with the occasional reversions on anniversaries, etc. Who knows?<\/p>\n

We grieve when we leave the church. Even if we left volitionally or were forced to leave\u2026 whatever the circumstances\u2026 we must allow ourselves time to grieve. If you just went one month to church just to observe and left, your grieving might not take as long. But what if you went to church for 50 years and were deeply involved in its life and then were asked to leave or you felt you simply could no longer stay? How long should grieving take then? A week? A month? A year? Five years? A life time?<\/p>\n

I would suggest having someone to talk to so that you can walk through it in a healthy manner, whatever that is. It is possible to get stuck in grief, stalled in depression, broken down in sorrow. Having someone to talk to may jumpstart you to make your grief manageable and help you progress towards a joyful life.<\/p>\n

But don\u2019t let anyone tell you how long you have to grieve. Take as long as you want. I remember just a few months after a devastating church split, some people who were strong supporters finally left the church because I wasn\u2019t healing fast enough. But I couldn\u2019t speed it up. And you might know me well enough by now that I just couldn\u2019t fake it. I was grieving. It took me a long time to get over that.<\/p>\n

I left the church a couple of years ago under strained conditions. I\u2019m still grieving that. But no one\u2019s rushing me now. I\u2019m talking with someone. I\u2019m getting better. At my own pace. I\u2019m going to be fine. I see joy coming.<\/p>\n

You can too. Don\u2019t rush the grief. Let it come. Feel it to the full. This is the best way to let it pass. And it will. Eventually. And you will be happy again.<\/p>\n

I make myself available to talk. If you would like to talk with me, check out my <\/strong>talk page<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

*The stages of grief were named by K\u00fcbler-Ross in her book \u201cOn Death and Dying\u201d<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"