How to be Nasty Religiously<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I realize mind-games and manipulative behaviors go on in every sector. But what I've experienced is that when someone is nasty in the work place, they are\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2010\/10\/how-to-be-nasty-religiously\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to be Nasty Religiously\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I realize mind-games and manipulative behaviors go on in every sector. 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{"id":6355,"date":"2010-10-15T12:52:45","date_gmt":"2010-10-15T16:52:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nakedpastor.com\/?p=6355"},"modified":"2010-10-15T12:52:45","modified_gmt":"2010-10-15T16:52:45","slug":"how-to-be-nasty-religiously","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nakedpastor\/2010\/10\/how-to-be-nasty-religiously\/","title":{"rendered":"How to be Nasty Religiously"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I realize mind-games<\/strong> and manipulative behaviors<\/strong> go on in every sector. But what I\u2019ve experienced is that when someone is nasty in the work place, they are just nasty, it is recognized as such, and called for what it is. Usually. Not always.<\/p>\n

But what I\u2019ve noticed over the many years in the church, in spirituality, in Christianity, is that the nastiness in religious<\/strong> domains<\/strong> is more subversive. Christians, I\u2019ve concluded, generally want to be nice, sincere people of faith. They would never want to hurt anybody.<\/p>\n

So when something upsetting happens to them against their will, rather than get consciously angry, mean, manipulative or deceitful, they drive these unpleasant thoughts and feelings deep underground<\/strong> and cover it all in a sentimental spirituality laced with ultimate concern for the church, God\u2019s will, and mission.<\/p>\n

What actually happens is this psychologically separates<\/strong> the unconscious drives from the conscious ones, allowing the unconscious ones to bloom with full sanction under the guise of genuine concern. Anyone with any discernment can see the monstrosity of the person\u2019s thinly veiled ulterior motives, lack of honesty and integrity. But the person himself is completely blind to them. His spirituality won\u2019t allow him to recognize it. He lacks integrity. In other words, he is not an integrated person. He is not integrating his unconscious with his conscious, his dark side with his light, his sinner with his saint.<\/p>\n

To address the issues head-on would fall on shocked, offended and deaf ears<\/strong>. It is useless. Unless a close friend or relative points it out. Then maybe. Otherwise, from my experience, it takes the mortifying trauma of an understood bad dream, a revelation<\/strong>, self-awareness, or realization (whatever you want to call it) for it to be addressed. Plus humility.<\/p>\n

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