Spiral Dance<\/a> by Starhawk and dedicated to the Goddess alone earlier that year in the woods of Long Island.\u00a0 My relationship with spirits and deity had always been solitary, so I was excited to attend my first public ritual.<\/p>\nWe cast circle, invited divinity. \u00a0\u201cWe will do a banishing today\u201d the young priestess leading the circle said, as she passed out paper and markers. \u00a0\u201cWrite down that which frightens you most.\u201d \u00a0We chanted, focused, and wrote something from a vulnerable place deep within.\u00a0 And then the priestess said, \u201cBefore we burn our papers, we will pass them in, trade them, and then read aloud each other\u2019s greatest fears to claim power over them.\u201d<\/p>\n
I froze.\u00a0 Nobody had said that what we wrote would be read aloud.\u00a0 Or passed to another person.\u00a0 As I write this I remember how I felt then, and can still feel a little queasiness in my gut.\u00a0 When I looked around the circle I saw others clutching their papers in discomfort.\u00a0 Looks of determination on some, fear on others, abject terror on a few.\u00a0 We were all frozen.\u00a0 The priestess said again, \u201cpass in your papers.\u201d \u00a0Nobody moved.\u00a0 I felt a small word formed in the back of my throat.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo\u201d<\/p>\n
It came out as a whisper. \u00a0\u201cNo\u201d I said, loud enough for everyone to hear.\u00a0 She turned, \u201cIf you do not then you are not claiming power over your fear.\u201d \u00a0I remained frozen.\u00a0 The circle was silent.\u00a0 After a few moments of silence, her partner, her priest, said, \u201cIf they do not want to share, I do not think they have to share.\u201d The two argued for a few moments while we watched.\u00a0 Eventually, they agreed that we could burn our papers in silence and would still be banishing the fear.\u00a0 I left the ritual, shaken.\u00a0 I have never forgotten that experience.<\/p>\n
Years later, after countless public rituals, some where I served as priest, I have a deeper understanding of both what happened in that circle.\u00a0 While planning her ritual, that young priestess forgot to intentionally make room for consent.\u00a0 In the medical profession informed consent is the basis for medical ethics, patients must understand the planned treatment and consent to it before it can start.\u00a0 Such consent belongs at the center of group ritual as well.\u00a0 Our intention drives our creation, so we must be intentional about inviting consent in our workings.\u00a0 We gain so much power when we are in agreement with one-another, and pay such a price when we are not.<\/p>\n
Regardless of the scale of the working, we must seek informed consent.\u00a0 Even if we had been asked to write down something we \u201ckinda didn\u2019t like\u201d to banish, it still would have been a violation to share it without our consent to share.\u00a0 The violation would have been to a lesser degree, which would make it feel perhaps less painful, but it would be a violation nonetheless.<\/p>\n
While there may be something said for pushing boundaries, public ritual is not the place.\u00a0 I prefer to reserve pushing beyond boundaries for private work, where relationship, trust, and love can help sustain and support someone when they go outside themselves.\u00a0 Even in those cases, most of the teachers I know ask a student if they feel ready to go into something new and more vulnerable, and they respect the student\u2019s answer.<\/p>\n
What does this mean to planning public ritual?<\/p>\n
It means that in order to engage without reservation, people attending a ritual must know what they will be doing, and they have to consent to participate.\u00a0 The ritual above would be entirely different if the priestess had said, \u201cToday we are going to dig deep, write down our greatest fears, trade them, read them aloud, and then burn them for one-another.\u201d \u00a0Everyone would have had a choice of what they wrote, how they engaged.\u00a0 To demonstrate even more respect, the host of the ritual could have asked, \u201cIs everyone ok with that?\u201d and then offered \u201cIf you are not ok with it, then you may leave your paper blank, and we will have a moment of silence for your inner fear, to share all our power with you, that you might face your fears.\u201d<\/p>\n
Feels different, right?<\/p>\n
I could have participated fully in that ritual, without reservation.\u00a0 I would have been informed of what was going to happen, and I could have consented to it, which would have put my own power in alliance with the priest and priestess hosting our circle.<\/p>\n
And together we could have made good magic.\u00a0 Good work.\u00a0 And isn\u2019t that what we want when we gather?<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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<\/a>