{"id":1418,"date":"2013-12-30T09:00:47","date_gmt":"2013-12-30T15:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mtvpastor.com\/?p=1418"},"modified":"2013-12-30T09:00:47","modified_gmt":"2013-12-30T15:00:47","slug":"2-11-reasons-marriages-fail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/newwineskins\/2-11-reasons-marriages-fail\/","title":{"rendered":"#2: 11 Reasons Marriages Fail"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

The second most read blog post of 2013 has to do with why marriages fail. If I had to rewrite the post, I would add a big 12th reason: money issues.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s marriage week here at MTVPastor. A few days ago my gorgeous wife Robin and I celebrated our 11 year anniversary. In honor of that, I\u2019ll be sharing my thoughts on marriage in three different posts. Today I\u2019ll share 11 reasons why marriages fail. Wednesday I\u2019ll write on 11 ways to strengthen your marriage. Friday I\u2019ll finish up with 11 reasons why marriage is worth it.<\/p>\n

We see marriages around us fail for a multitude of reasons. Underlying the causes of divorce are some common themes. Here are eleven of them:<\/p>\n

1. Lack of communication.\u00a0<\/strong>Constant and meaningful conversation is the lifeblood of a marriage. You would think that all marriages have meaningful conversation, but they don\u2019t. Couples don\u2019t carve out time. They\u2019re too tired. The husbands don\u2019t want to talk. Television replaces conversation, and separation begins.<\/p>\n

2. Busyness.<\/strong>\u00a0We can be too busy for our own good. A career is good, but not if it comes at the expense of your marriage. Hobbies are good, but not if it comes at the expense of your marriage. Friends are good, but not if they come at the expense of your marriage. Even kids can drain away precious energy from your marriage. The couples that can\u2019t cut back see their marriages float away in a sea of busyness.<\/p>\n

3. Selfishness.<\/strong>\u00a0At the core, marriage is about serving your spouse, about submitting yourself and your needs to the needs of your spouse. If the couples can\u2019t grasp this, submit their ego and embrace the concept of mutual submission, then fault line cracks will appear at the base of your marriage.<\/p>\n

4. Can\u2019t overcome your family of origin.<\/strong>\u00a0Many spouses were raised in broken, abusive, or dysfunctional homes. They walk into marriage knowing only destructive marriage habits from the example of their parents. If they can\u2019t overcome and move past their family of origin, their parents\u2019 destructive marriage will become their own destructive marriage.<\/p>\n

5. Unwilling to grow in your marriage.<\/strong>\u00a0Marriage is all about change. You change. Your spouse changes. If you\u2019re unwilling to grow and change with your spouse, you don\u2019t have much of a shot. The trick of marriage isn\u2019t finding a perfect spouse who will never change, but to find a way to continuously fall in love with your ever-changing spouse.<\/p>\n

6. Lack of investment in your marriage.\u00a0<\/strong>Husbands, your marriage isn\u2019t complete when you say \u201cI do.\u201d Without constant and intentional investment, your marriage will struggle. Just like a farmer\u2019s work isn\u2019t done when he plants the seed, neither is your work done when you walk the aisle. Marriage takes hard work, lots of it.<\/p>\n

7. Addictions overwhelm a spouse.<\/strong>\u00a0Sometimes a latent addiction can rear up and consume a spouse. An eating disorder, a pornography addiction, alcoholism, if left unchecked, will wreck a marriage. It takes two people to make a marriage work, but only one person to wreck it.<\/p>\n

8. Bitterness and unforgiveness overwhelm you.<\/strong>\u00a0Your spouse will hurt you more than any other person on the planet. They will continually remind you that they are a sinner in need of God\u2019s forgiveness. Because you\u2019re the person closest to them, you will deal with the brunt of their imperfections. If you choose to hold on to past hurts and slights, bitterness will poison your soul and consume you.<\/p>\n

9. You give up too easily.<\/strong>\u00a0Make no illusions: marriage is tough. It\u2019s not for the faint of heart. Every couple will come to points where divorce seems like the easy option. The marriage that works is the marriage that chooses to fight when things get tough, not quit.<\/p>\n

10. Sin entices and destroys the marriage.\u00a0<\/strong>Sin is always looking for a way to destroy the beauty of your marriage. It may use the approach of greed, selfishness, an affair, or any other number of enticements. If you\u2019re not constantly on your guard, sin will destroy your marriage.<\/p>\n

11. The love grows cold.\u00a0<\/strong>Love is like a campfire that must be constantly tended to and stoked. If left alone, the fire will eventually burn itself out and grow cold. When the love grows cold, there doesn\u2019t seem to be much left to save. Don\u2019t let your fire grow cold.<\/p>\n

QUESTION: What other reasons cause marriage to fail?<\/em><\/p>\n

image courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The second most read blog post of 2013 has to do with why marriages fail. If I had to rewrite the post, I would add a big 12th reason: money issues. It\u2019s marriage week here at MTVPastor. A few days ago my gorgeous wife Robin and I celebrated our 11 year anniversary. In honor of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2490,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1493],"class_list":["post-1418","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n#2: 11 Reasons Marriages Fail<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The second most read blog post of 2013 has to do with why marriages fail. If I had to rewrite the post, I would add a big 12th reason: money issues. 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