{"id":2917,"date":"2015-05-04T08:28:22","date_gmt":"2015-05-04T13:28:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/newwineskins\/?p=2917"},"modified":"2015-05-04T08:28:22","modified_gmt":"2015-05-04T13:28:22","slug":"story-of-hope-jennifer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/newwineskins\/story-of-hope-jennifer\/","title":{"rendered":"Story of Hope: Jennifer"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><i>Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>\u2014Isaiah 43:18-19<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/mtvpastor\/files\/2015\/05\/IMG_0805_pp.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-2919\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/mtvpastor\/files\/2015\/05\/IMG_0805_pp-683x1024.jpg\" alt=\"IMG_0805_pp\" width=\"683\" height=\"1024\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Jennifer grew up in nearby Sturgis\u2014in a middle class, safe, whole family unit, complete with a dad, mom, and younger sister. So how was it that in 2012, as a young 30-something, she was facing her third divorce? She couldn\u2019t believe or understand it.<\/p>\n<p>Family life wasn\u2019t exactly ideal during childhood. Jennifer\u2019s mom took her and her sister on-and-off to a nearby Catholic church\u2014mainly for the important things like confirmation and her first communion. But at home, her dad was a functioning alcoholic.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe wasn\u2019t abusive at all and he was present, but I don\u2019t have many sober memories of my dad,\u201d she said. \u201cHe did his thing and we did ours. He was there, but he wasn\u2019t really there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As for her Catholic church, she didn\u2019t like it or understand it. So she started attending a local community church with some friends and got involved. Because it was a small group, she never found the leadership or guidance she now says she probably needed during that time.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI remember going to church camp at 13 or 14 and being \u2018saved\u2019 there, but I didn\u2019t even really know what that meant. I didn\u2019t do it for the right reasons.\u00a0It\u2019s what everybody was doing and it felt right,\u201d she said. \u201cLooking back now, I realized I wanted God\u2019s blessings, but I didn\u2019t want that way of life, so my salvation didn\u2019t stick.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Jennifer spent a lot of her teenage and young adult years making what she calls \u201cless than desirable decisions.\u201d She hung out with all the wrong people and battled her own addictions\u2014drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity.<\/p>\n<p>In 1996, she found a way out. She met a guy in the Air Force, originally from New Jersey, who was stationed in Columbus. At that point, all she wanted was to get out of Mississippi and he wanted a wife before he got out of the military, so it seemed they both had a solution in marrying each other.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe got married and I got pregnant. When we had our son, I decided I wanted to live in Mississippi to be close to my family and he wanted to go back to New Jersey. He\u2019s a great guy and we still co-parent today, but the bottom line is this: we should\u2019ve never gotten married. I know now it didn\u2019t work because God wasn\u2019t involved in that relationship,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>After their divorce and a short time had passed, Jennifer met someone else. She was a single mom raising her son and he was raising his twin girls on his own. This seemed to be the perfect Brady-Brunch-blended scenario.<\/p>\n<p>They married in August 1998 when Jennifer was 23 years old. By November, the whole family was active in a local church where she was baptized and started to turn things around, focusing on \u201cliving right\u201d and reading the Bible.<\/p>\n<p>Jennifer said, \u201cLife was good for us. We were very involved in church and tried to do the right things. We even attended Mt. Vernon for a while. He was growing as a believer and so was I, so it was a shock when I found out he\u2019d had an affair.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In 2008, after 11 years together, the couple split and Jennifer tried to move on again with her 12-year-old son. But just one year later, carrying her own bag of self-loathing and emotional pain, another man entered Jennifer\u2019s life, trying to buy her affections and mend the broken pieces.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe said and did all the right things. He seemed to be the answer to everything. He\u2019d been a Marine. He was financially stable. He had a college degree,\u201d she said. \u201cThere was a lot of pressure from him to marry again, so I did\u2014for a third time. I didn\u2019t believe in anything anymore, so I fell for everything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Two things happened after they wed\u2014Jennifer soon got pregnant with her second son and red flags started popping up all over the place.<\/p>\n<p>She began to find out the ugly truth behind his lies: he couldn\u2019t produce a driver\u2019s license; he didn\u2019t actually have a degree; he was $12,000 in child support debt; he\u2019d begun dating someone else a month after they were married. And the biggest lie of all? Jennifer wasn\u2019t wife #2 like he said\u2014she was #5.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI felt stuck. The lies were overwhelming. I had no clue whom I\u2019d married. He turned out to be a con artist and I\u2019d fallen for it,\u201d she said. \u201cFor three years, I tried to make it work. But at the end of it all, he left me with $21,000 worth of debt.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The biggest blessing out of it came in the form of her second son, Reed\u2014plus a life change she couldn\u2019t have predicted. In 2011, she and her boys began attending Mt. Vernon again. And this time, things were different.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI remember sending a message to a staff member saying, \u2018I\u2019m scared to death of being judged at church.\u2019 Church is a hard place to be when you\u2019re divorced. I felt like I was walking in with a neon sign over my head that said, \u2018Single Mom, Divorced x 3.\u2019 I felt like it defined who I was. But when I walked through those doors, I never once felt judged or condemned. It felt like family.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>About the same time, Jennifer began working full-time from home, giving her time to reflect on her past. What she realized was her issues began as a child, more than 20 years ago, when she began searching for love and a man to fill the gap her dad never could. She didn\u2019t realize the impact her father\u2019s alcoholism had on her life (who is now battling the end stages of his addiction).<\/p>\n<p>She\u2019d wanted the fairytale, but it had failed every time she tried to create it on her own.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou don\u2019t think you\u2019ll ever get through the pain,\u201d she said. \u201cI prayed so much for the ability to forgive myself and let go of the shame that was binding me. It was when I opened the Bible and met the person of Jesus that I found my fairytale and the Father I needed all along. I\u2019d tried to fill the gap in my heart with worldly relationships, but only Jesus could do that all along. He\u2019s the only Love I need.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Just when she realized how much Jesus loves her, everything else also melted away\u2014the resentment, anger, brokenness, and shame. Though she still battles the enemy for freedom, she says she now understands that Christ\u2019s power is made perfect in her weakness.<\/p>\n<p>Today, Jennifer regularly attends a life group\u2014a place where she feels safe to share, encourage, and be encouraged. She also serves each week on the host team and with the Children\u2019s Ministry. And to top it all off, her sons are both actively involved at Mt. Vernon.<\/p>\n<p>She said, \u201cNow, I get it\u2014this relationship with Jesus. There\u2019s trust there. Grace is real. Yes, my story is messy and ugly. I created that. But Jesus stepped in and made me new, healing the wounds and filling in the holes. Sometimes the best fairytales come from the rubble.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. \u2014Isaiah 43:18-19 Jennifer grew up in nearby Sturgis\u2014in a middle class, safe, whole family unit, complete [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2490,"featured_media":2919,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[61,262,402,669,742,788,972,1255],"class_list":["post-2917","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-addiction","tag-church","tag-divorce","tag-hope","tag-jennifer","tag-kaylan-preuss","tag-mt-vernon","tag-salvation"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Story of Hope: Jennifer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! 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