Quoting Quiverfull: Part 1 – Listening To Your Wife?

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 1 – Listening To Your Wife? April 13, 2015

quotingquiverfullby Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy – I Need Her Counsel and Judgement

Editor’s note: A fascinating look into the abusive nature of the Pearl marriage where Michael admits he needs Debi’s ideas. He thought that her having ideas contrary to his was was her ‘getting out of her place’.

Headstrong, independent men sometimes forget that in the “multitude of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 24:6). “For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself” (Romans 14:7).

Mister, you need counsel. Having done many stupid things, I don’t trust Michael Pearl like I did when I was young and knew everything. I have gotten dumber with the years. I am known to say “I don’t know” more often than I did just after graduating from college.

But I will admit that early in our marriage I didn’t want my wife’s advice. At the time I felt that she was minimizing me in her criticism, so it angered Boss Hog when she “got out of her place” and took the lead. At least, that is the way I interpreted her suggestions. I will tell you the truth, I don’t know what happened first; maybe she gained wisdom in the way she offered input or maybe I became less sensitive to suggestions. But the end result is that we grew and matured to the point where I trust her judgments and she trusts mine, and we both know we can be wrong and therefore are open to considering other possibilities. We can challenge one another without feeling put down. It is a fact of human nature that all of us listen with concern and introspection to those whom we respect, and we dismiss with derision those whom we think are unworthy to challenge us. Poor wives.

The bottom line is that insecurity and fear make us angry at perceived criticism. The smallest man has the biggest anger.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

If this is your first time visiting NLQ please read our Welcome page and our Comment Policy!

Comments open below

NLQ Recommended Reading …

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Nightshade

    But according to Debi you can’t ever disagree with your man…what’s wrong here?

  • Brennan

    It’s actually not human nature to automatically lump the woman you marry into the category of “people unworthy to challenge [you],” contrary to what Pearl implied with the “Poor wives” aside. Those two little words, and the way in which they were delivered, are very telling.

  • Nea

    Yes, well, look at what he’s saying he did and how he behaved when she did disagree! Debi got trained out of saying what she really thinks, and that’s what he calls her “gaining wisdom in the way she offered input.”

  • Nea

    it angered Boss Hog

    I could spend an hour unpacking just those 4 words. Is it that Michael directly calls himself a pig, or that he’s chosen to model himself off the *villain* of a TV show (that famously included a very scantily clad woman, so he shouldn’t be watching it in the first place; Daisy Duke’s costume is pornographic by Debi’s standards.)

    maybe she gained wisdom in the way she offered input

    Debi has said, clearly and directly, that the only way she is allowed to “offer input” is to not do it too often, not do it with any kind of emotion (determined, of course, by Michael’s unwritten standards) and that even after she has offered that input she is supposed to quietly submit if the answer is “shut the fuck up.” Furthermore, she has said, directly and clearly, that knowing that she has this “outlet” allows her to tolerate a great deal of bad behavior, expecting her readership to be impressed with her strength. (Debi keeps cutting her own argument off at the knees with her martyrbation. She wants the world to simultaneously believe that she has the bestest of all possible glorious marriages AND that she is a stronger woman than you because you would not believe the shit she puts up with.)

    we dismiss with derision those whom we think are unworthy to challenge us. Poor wives.

    So you’re basically outright saying that wives — all wives, not just the uppity wench who asked if you could afford ground chuck and whined and moaned about wanting rest when you had a hard on that needed tending to — are “unworthy” people, Mikey? Charming.

  • She can disagree with him when he allows her to disagree.

  • Suzy’s Mamma

    If the smallest man has the biggest anger, Michael Pearl must be one heck of a small man.

  • ShaLaLa

    Yepp, explicit admission that the Christian Patriarchy movement has a problem with disrespecting women. As if I needed more evidence that I prefer my own life.