Quoting Quiverfull: Part 3 – Nip What In The Bud?

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 3 – Nip What In The Bud? March 29, 2016

quotingquiverfullby Debi Pearl from No Greater Joy – Nip It In The Bud

Editor’s note: Somehow Debi manages to get to the end of this piece without advocating beating the child severely. But she doubles down on the toxic ‘be happy’ crap she peddles.

If you would tell me that early and decisive action on your part would not have moved your son to obedience, you are confessing that you have consistently been inconsistent so as to have trained your son to maintain perpetual rebellion and to resort to war at the slightest provocation. If you will become immediate and consistent, acting before you are angry, acting with calmness and even a smile, you will forestall the child’s road to rebellion.

Over time, many occasions like this will cut the strings of fellowship and cause the child to remain in a perpetually offended mood. Children and parents will come to not like the other and neither can explain why. These same children can go visiting with a relative and be well behaved and very pleasant, but at home the child seems to have this undercurrent of bitterness that pervades everything.

Parents need to see their children as empty vessels that need filling up or as untaught soldiers that need instruction. They should always be asking, “Do you know what that word means?” or “Why do you think that happened?” Parents should take an extra few minutes to include their small children in the adult conversation. When the child shows an interest, or if you think you can provoke an interest, ask him, “Do you understand what he said about the airplane and the engine turbine?” This will cause the child to feel like the parent really likes him, and it stimulates the child to think about what is going on around him. He will develop emotionally and mentally much faster and more completely than a child left to himself. The best parents see every occasion as a time to train. It takes less time, and certainly less emotional strain, to stop that few seconds and offer positive instruction to your children.

Part 1 | Part 2

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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  • Nea

    The three things that strike me are:
    – children are not empty vessels, they come with their own needs and personality
    – children are not soldiers (for fuck’s sake, what war were they drafted for?)
    – children don’t have to be interested in adult stuff; even the bible says so. Maybe the listening child doesn’t give a damn about turbines, or knows from experience that questions will lead to insults about their intelligence, if not a beating? (The Pearls are, after all, so very fond of both. Their first go-to for someone they can’t hit is to insult their intelligence. If you played a drinking game *just* with the word “dumb” you’d need a liver transplant halfway through the second book.)

    I am surprised to have lost my virtual bet. Although the Pearls hint heavily about beat- I mean, “training,” they don’t actually say it. I would just be fascinated to hear more about this abrupt about face and their imprecatory prayers. Knowing their cognitive level, they likely think a single column like this will totally override their abusive book advice.

  • Anonyme

    “Parents need to see their children as empty vessels that need filling up or as untaught soldiers that need instruction.”

    Oooor…you could see them as human beings. Just a thought.

  • Abigail Smith

    “Children and parents will come to not like the other and neither can explain why.” Um, I can explain why…the parent isn’t being the adult, and the child rightfully feels oppressed because he is not able to express any negative feelings…and then the parent blames the kid for being rotten or misbehaving when he is just being a normal kid, learning how to navigate the world…..exactly what happened in my childhood…

  • Astrin Ymris

    Man, the Pearls are really working on re-branding themselves. They’re almost coming across as advocates of gentle parenting here. Whatever got their wind up enough that they posted a death-threat-by-prayer must be really serious.

    Suzanne, have you noticed whether the most toxic examples of Michael’s physical and mental torture techniques for inducing Stockholm’s Syndrome discipline methods have been deleted from their website?

  • Nea

    Even if they pull it from the web, they can’t shake those toxic books unless they officially rewrite and repudiate them.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Doesn’t mean they won’t try. Revising history to something more palatable and then denying this fact is a common tactic of the Religious and Corporate Right.

  • Suzanne Harper Titkemeyer

    From what I am noticing they are not deleting things so much as burying them way way back and not linking to them. It’s still there, just harder to find, like the more awful letters at the Preparing To Be A Help Meet site are hidden away on the very dregs of the site.