The Pretenders We Used To Be

The Pretenders We Used To Be May 28, 2016

CindyFosterby Cindy Foster cross posted from her blog Finding Fundamental

THE PRETENDER
I’m going to rent myself a house
In the shade of the freeway
I’m going to pack my lunch in the morning
And go to work each day
And when the evening rolls around
I’ll go on home and lay my body down
And when the morning light comes streaming in

I’ll get up and do it again
Amen
Say it again
Amen
I want to know what became of the changes
We waited for love to bring
Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening
I’ve been aware of the time going by
They say in the end it’s the wink of an eye
And when the morning light comes streaming in
You’ll get up and do it again
Amen
Caught between the longing for love
And the struggle for the legal tender
Where the sirens sing and the church bells ring
And the junk man pounds his fender
Where the veterans dream of the fight
Fast asleep at the traffic light
And the children solemnly wait
For the ice cream vendor
Out into the cool of the evening
Strolls the Pretender
He knows that all his hopes and dreams
Begin and end there
Ah the laughter of the lovers
As they run through the night
Leaving nothing for the others
But to choose off and fight
And tear at the world with all their might
While the ships bearing their dreams
Sail out of sight
I’m going to find myself a girl
Who can show me what laughter means
And we’ll fill in the missing colors
In each other’s paint-by-number dreams
And then we’ll put our dark glasses on
And we’ll make love until our strength is gone
And when the morning light comes streaming in
We’ll get up and do it again
Get it up again
I’m going to be a happy idiot
And struggle for the legal tender
Where the ads take aim and lay their claim
To the heart and the soul of the spender
And believe in whatever may lie
In those things that money can buy
Though true love could have been a contender
Are you there?
Say a prayer for the Pretender
Who started out so young and strong
Only to surrender
This song performed by Jackson Browne moves me in ways I am not sure I can explain, but I’m going to take a stab at it anyway.
It speaks of our youthful, undiluted, naive, plans gradually blossoming into dreams, in time, getting lost in the daily grind–wants and needs– compelling us to prosperity while diverting us from those fanciful dreams.
Then getting up and doing it again and again.
Always PRETENDING we are content.
The message speaks to me and is applied in the following, symbolic way:
Not lured by the material, we were seduced by promises of God’s favor… by our fervor.
And I wonder; I want to know, “what became of the changes we waited for {that fervor} to bring?”
“Were they only the fitful dreams of some greater awakening?”  “Fitful dreams.”  Hmmm….a befitting illustration…. “fitful dreams”……Yes! That’s exactly what they were!
Days pass.  Then months.  Then years.  They pass by in the “wink of an eye” with little notice of how far away we’d come from who we once were.
Who were we?   Who are we?
“Caught between the longing for love {and affirmation and acceptance and rightness} and the struggle for the {Narrow Way}” where church life becomes the only way of life and scarcely any time for the world outside.
moliere_courage_3107
“Out in the cool of the evening strolls {this kind} of Pretender.”
“He knows that all his hopes and dreams begin and end there”.
We knew we had to catch that ship bearing our dreams before she sailed out of sight!  And we did!
We’re going to find ourselves a new life that will show us what laughter means.
“And we’ll fill in the missing colors in each other’s paint-by-number dreams
And then we’ll put our dark glasses on
And we’ll make love until our strength is gone
And when the morning light {of our new life} comes streaming in
We’ll get up and do it again! ” {AMEN!}
And we may be like that “happy idiot” struggling for the “legal tender”
“Where the adds take aim and lay their claim
To the heart and soul of the spender
And believe in whatever may lie
In the things that money {CAN’T} buy
And true love…. will be a contender
Are you there?”  {Maybe not yet, but we’re working on it.
Whether ‘there’ or not, we will say a prayer
for that Pretender we once were}.
“Who started out so young and strong

Only to surrender.”

Then one glorious and terrible day, when forced to open our eyes, we see.

And we finally repent.  AMEN!

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~~~~~~~~~~

Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network member, Cindy Foster blogs at Finding Fundamental

Cindy Foster is “Mom” to eight gorgeous, talented, temperamental, noisy, opinionated, alike-but very different kids. She has been married to their daddy, Paul, for 36 years.


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