by Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies – Is Marriage Exclusive or Open?
Editor’s note: What is it about Evangelical Quiverfull that just assumes if you are friends with someone of the opposite sex that there will be infidelity? That’s just the most backwards belief of all time. Out here in the real world you can be friends with anyone you want without the first thought being that you’re going to have sex with them the first time you are alone. And why isn’t Nancy saying the same thing about female/female or male/male friendships?
A Facebook question popped up on my Facebook over the weekend: “What’s your take on guys and girls being friends? Even best friends? Can a girl be friends with a guy who isn’t friends with her spouse and just be friends? Vice versa too? Can it be a purely platonic relationship?”
I was grieved in my spirit by the answers to this question. Most answered saying they thought it was healthy and beneficial to have friends of the opposite sex who were not their husband.
I beg your pardon! What has happened to God’s ideal of marriage? What has happened to the sacredness of marriage? What has happened to keeping our solemn marriage vows?
We know that “forsaking all others,” means to keep sexually pure in marriage. But I believe it means more than that. It means forsaking personal friendships (without including your husband) with the opposite sex. I don’t care what all these young marrieds say, it is not in God’s plan for marriage. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t have friendship with men. My husband and I have many friendships with couples and families. Our lives have been given to hospitality through the years and we have enjoyed the rich blessing of many couples at our table as we fellowship together.
But I wouldn’t dream of going out to eat or going somewhere on my own with the husband of that couple. Why do I need to do that? Why do I need another guy apart from my husband? Isn’t he enough? My husband is my best friend. I have vowed to forsake all others and be faithful only unto him—sexually, emotionally, mentally, and because of my scared marriage vows. And this is not dependent upon feelings, but upon commitment.
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
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