{"id":40223,"date":"2017-02-08T18:42:01","date_gmt":"2017-02-08T22:42:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/nolongerquivering\/?p=40223"},"modified":"2017-02-08T18:42:01","modified_gmt":"2017-02-08T22:42:01","slug":"answering-preparing-prophet-father","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nolongerquivering\/2017\/02\/answering-preparing-prophet-father\/","title":{"rendered":"Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – How to Relate and Respond to a Prophet Father?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Okay, on to today\u2019s question:<\/p>\n

How to relate and respond to a prophet father?<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n
My dad is a wonderful man. He loves the Lord deeply and leads our family in His ways. He is, however, (how shall I say this?) sometimes quite irritable and intense. After reading PTBH for the second time, I realized that he is a prophet, and that perhaps that is where some of this comes from. It helps me understand him a lot better because I used to just be frustrated and resentful (shame) with his edginess, irritability, intensity, and quick anger. (Of course I never let him know it) Especially when I compared him with my older brother who is a priest by nature. My brother is a strong, brave Christian man as well and not afraid to step up to the plate, but he is always easygoing, kind, and thoughtful. He is always a pleasant person to be around, even when things are not going his way and he is feeling stressed. I want to marry a man just like my brother!
\nNow, don\u2019t get me wrong \u2013 my father is not always uptight and angry \u2013 far from it. There are plenty of times when he is the most wonderful person you could want to be around. It is just all the other times that are so hard to deal with.Please don\u2019t think that I am trying to dishonor him \u2013 I really am not. I love him dearly and when I see many other fathers and husbands I am so thankful that he is who he is.
\nHe does definitely have a ton of work to do between his job and our farm business, and often feels stressed, but when he\u2019s stressed everyone else feels it too. To make matters worse, we have an intern currently working on our farm who lives in a trailer on the farm but basically spends all day every day with us as a family. Anyway, this intern has some glaring character flaws (such as a know-it-all and controlling attitude for one), and it annoys my dad to death and it seems like many days, all day long he\u2019s either challenging him and telling him to cut it out, venting about him to the rest of us in the intern\u2019s absence, or just being very irritable. It gets tiresome when day after day a cloud comes over the dinner table because he\u2019s irritable, or during the day when he\u2019s intensely push, push, pushing everyone to get the farm work done without much fun, cheer, or good humor. Or when he gets very loud and confrontational with anyone who dares to disagree with him at all on the smallest issue. Or when he becomes irate over the smallest thing someone does.
\nI remember quite vividly many times in my childhood when I would get seethingly angry with him for this type of behavior (hiding my anger from him of course), and simply be afraid to talk to him, not knowing what mood he was in and the response I would get. He would occasionally take me out to breakfast and talk, but I could never open up to him and really talk and confide in him because it felt like he was basically ignoring me most of the time and then making an attempt once in a while at taking me out, spending time with me, and getting to know me. I didn\u2019t want a breakfast alone with him once in a while, I just wanted him to be cheerful on a day to day basis and take an interest in me all the time. Once again, though, I am thankful for him because he did more than most dads today do.
\nI know for a fact that my siblings all feel the exact same way about him \u2013 about the good and the bad, but my mom (a nice servant) is the ideal helpmeet \u2013 she doesn\u2019t appear to ever even realize that he has any faults. I wish I could be more like her, but I don\u2019t know how she does it.
\nAs I\u2019ve gotten older and grown into an adult I\u2019ve been able to talk to him more freely because he definitely relates better to mature adults than to the silliness of children. I can have great spiritual conversations with him and really enjoy his company at times, but so often in the day to day, he\u2019s just not fun to be around. (I\u2019m in college, but I\u2019m home for the summer)
\nI really want to honor and respect him and lately, when he acts that way, I\u2019ve been trying not to let it ruffle me, remembering his good qualities, and silently thanking the Lord for giving me such a good father. It\u2019s still hard though, and I am wondering how you all would recommend responding and relating to him? I\u2019ve been hoping that if I\u2019m cheerful enough, my attitude might affect him and make him cheerful too. It hasn\u2019t seemed to make any difference, though. Certainly telling him how he comes across to everyone else is not an option \u2013 it would not be respectful and would not build him up and he would just be defensive about it anyway.
\nIs there anything I can do that will help him to keep a cheerful attitude?
\nI want to marry a calm, steady man like my brother, but I realize that if I don\u2019t learn to fully honor my father as he is, then how will I ever fully honor my husband? And what if God gives me a king or prophet husband instead of a priest? (I\u2019m a dreamer) I would really appreciate any advice you could give me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
This young woman\u2019s father sounds like kind of a jerk. The only answers she got were one lady saying she had the same problem and another laying out steps for dealing with daddy that sound more like you\u2019d treat a cranky toddler or despot. What would you tell her?<\/p>\n
$\"more\"$ <\/a>Last week\u2019s Answering Preparing<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n
Random Answering Preparing<\/a><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
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Comments open below<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\nNLQ Recommended Reading \u2026<\/strong><\/h1>\nQuiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement<\/a> by Kathryn Joyce<\/strong><\/h4>\n
13:24 \u2013 A Story of Faith and Obsession<\/a> by M Dolon Hickmon<\/strong><\/h4>\n

NLQ Recommended Reading \u2026<\/strong><\/h1>\nQuiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement<\/a> by Kathryn Joyce<\/strong><\/h4>\n
13:24 \u2013 A Story of Faith and Obsession<\/a> by M Dolon Hickmon<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement<\/a> by Kathryn Joyce<\/strong><\/h4>\n
13:24 \u2013 A Story of Faith and Obsession<\/a> by M Dolon Hickmon<\/strong><\/h4>\n

13:24 \u2013 A Story of Faith and Obsession<\/a> by M Dolon Hickmon<\/strong><\/h4>\n