The difference was not ultimately a result of how they met, how they got to know each other, or whether they called their relationship \u201cdating,\u201d \u201ccourtship,\u201d \u201cbetrothal,\u201d or anything else.(pg 22)<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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Let\u2019s see how long that idea plays out, shall we? \u00a0One of the cover quotes on the flyleaf is from Gregg Harris whose son Josh Harris wrote \u201cI Kissed Dating Goodbye\u201d so<\/li>\n
I\u2019m guessing chapter 4 is where we reverse that statement.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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Temptation in this area of boy \/girl relationships is one of the biggest snares that the enemy uses to damage the lives and testimonies of Christian young people. Many lives have been destroyed. Many others have survived only with scars, pain, and heartache.(pg. 22)<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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Holy hyperbole! \u00a0Premarital sex does not lead directly to death or scarring; implying that temptation alone leads to death or scarring is massive overkill.<\/li>\n
\u00a0Notice that wrecking the lives of young people isn\u2019t enough. \u00a0The Enemy also manages to kill their testimonies! \u00a0Oh, the horror!\n
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Except\u2026.there\u2019s another theme running in Good Girl (TM) CP blogs and books. \u00a0The theme is that many of the sheltered girls question the value of their testimonials because they haven\u2019t had a major sin to repent of. \u00a0I can see where that would put a cramp in the dramatic impact of the testimonial.<\/li>\n
Which sounds better?\n
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\u00a0\u201cI was a drug-addict, porn-watching. Democrat before Christ and now I\u2019m washed in the blood of the Lamb and have left all of that evil behind me!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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\u201cI was really cranky some mornings when I had to make breakfast for my giant home-schooled family of siblings but now with the Power of Christ I sing every morning while making porridge!\u201d<\/li>\n
Yeah, I voted for the first one, too.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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Since marriage is a picture of our relationship with Christ, God created marriage to be the most beautiful, joyful, and fulfilling earthly relationship we will ever experience. A good marriage is priceless. No one would trade it for anything \u2014 or would they? Countless young people are willing to forfeit the beautiful marriage God wants to give them in exchange for short-term thrills. If we could grasp how wonderful God\u2019s plan for us is, don\u2019t you think we\u2019d be willing to wait? Don\u2019t you think we would purpose to enter marriage pure rather than with emotional baggage and scars? (pg. 23)<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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*howls in irritation* \u00a0I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THIS! \u00a0 \u00a0Learn how to interpret Scriptures like a real adult. \u00a0The first step is the hardest since it requires reading the Bible accurately.\n
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Marriage is NOT a picture of our relationship with Christ. \u00a0Paul used marriage as an analogy to understand the relationship between Christ and the Church. \u00a0The important part of the analogy is the relationship between Christ and the Church<\/b><\/u> \u2013 the marriage is the minor, but more easily understood part of the analogy.<\/li>\n
God created marriage so that Adam wouldn\u2019t be alone. \u00a0It\u2019s one of the main themes in Genesis 2<\/a>. \u00a0Another option is the God created marriage so that humans could reproduce \u2013 see Genesis 3.<\/a><\/li>\n
Discussions of marriage as \u201cbeautiful, joyful and fulfilling\u201d are scant in the Bible. \u00a0We can have differing opinions as to why this is absent, but I\u2019m comfortable with the fact that life in Biblical times was insanely hard. \u00a0Keeping your family fed, clothed, in shelter and not killed by a rival tribe of people took every minute of the day. \u00a0Worrying about fulfillment \u2013 that\u2019s a modern luxury.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
I feel like this paragraph needs a sound track. \u00a0The sentence that ends in italics needs a dramatic series of chords that matches the overwrought nature of the sentence. \u00a0Reading that in your best scary voice is a close second.<\/li>\n
I feel like the last sentence requires a public service announcement to undo the damage that idea is going to cause.\n
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*sits backward on a chair and flips a baseball cap backwards* \u201cHi, kids. \u00a0Let\u2019s rap. \u00a0Look, no one comes into a marriage without emotional baggage or emotional scars. \u00a0That\u2019s part of growing up. \u00a0As you make your way in the world, you will fail. \u00a0You will hurt others. \u00a0You will be hurt. \u00a0You will lose friendships. \u00a0You will lose people. \u00a0That\u2019s life. \u00a0Your job is to learn how to survive the inevitable downs in life and how to support others when they are down. \u00a0Peace out.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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\u201d You know what, Sarah? \u201d a fifteen-year-old friend told me recently. \u201cIt\u2019s really true. God\u2019s plans are so much better than we could ever imagine. My older brother is planning to be a pastor. He had such a long list of specific requirements for his future wife that our family used to tease him. We insisted that he\u2019d never get married\u2013 that such a girl didn\u2019t exist. But then he met Lori! She is so perfect for him. She not only fits every one of his qualifications\u2013 she far surpasses them! It\u2019s incredible to see how God brought exactly the way he needed. He wasn\u2019t willing to lowered his standards, and God bless his faith. \u201d (pg. 24)<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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Good anecdotes illustrate their point; they don\u2019t tell you.\n
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I hate to say this, but I miss Debi Pearl\u2019s anecdotes. \u00a0They were crass and catty as hell, but they at least were entertaining. \u00a0This is immediately forgettable.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
I get that this anecdote is supposed to inspire the reader to make a list of qualifications for their future spouse, but\u2026.I\u2019m more caught up by the absolute lack of characterization of anyone involved in the story.\n
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What is the older brother like?<\/li>\n
What were his list of qualifications?<\/li>\n
Which of those qualities did his family think were silly or pedantic?<\/li>\n
How does Lori supersede all of the qualities?<\/li>\n
What is the older brother bringing to a marriage with such a paragon of virtue?<\/li>\n
Why is the 15-year old sharing this story with Sarah anyways?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
Friendship can span broad age gaps \u2013 but the fact that Ms. Mally is referring to a 15-year-old as a friend when she is at least 25 years old is disconcerting.\n
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When I was young teacher of 24 or 25, high school classes would try and bargain their way out of homework by asking if I wanted to be their friend. \u00a0 An answer I liked to give was \u201cI\u2019m sorry. \u00a0My friends have to be old enough to buy alcohol legally. \u00a0Ask again in a few years\u201d so that I wasn\u2019t being rude or dismissive of a light-hearted, kind of sweet request.<\/li>\n
Now that I\u2019m thinking about those years\u2026.my students were older than 15. \u00a0 Most were 17-19. \u00a0Fifteen is a freshman or sophomore in high school. \u00a0That\u2019s a fun age \u2013 but I don\u2019t know how you would have a true two-way friendship between a teen and a young adult. \u00a0The only way I can see the friendship working is if the young adult is immature\u2026.which doesn\u2019t bode well for this book.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
<\/div>\n
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It\u2019s important for all of us to understand that there are two kinds of purity. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n
First, there is the innocent, or clean type. Imagine a white cloth which is never been dirty or contaminated- it is pure. This idea of \u201cinnocence\u201d might be the first thing that comes to your mind when we think of purity.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n
But there is a second kind of purity\u2013 the washed kind. Something was dirty, but it\u2019s been washed, it\u2019s been cleansed. A white rag may have been used to clean up a filthy mess, but once it has been thoroughly cleaned, it is pure and spotless again. It was black, but now it\u2019s white. (\u2026)<\/em><\/span>[editor\u2019s note: The omitted paragraphs discuss how no one has the first type of purity in relation to Christ]<\/span><\/p>\n
In light of this, it\u2019s important to realize the purity is offered to anyone- no matter what your past has been, no matter what mistakes you have made. (\u2026) it is never too late to turn to the Lord and experience the joy, peace, and abundant life He offers. (pg. 25)<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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These metaphors are sick. \u00a0Absolutely fucking sick.<\/li>\n
These purity sections highlight an important theme in Christian Patriarchy\u2019s views on women\u2019s sexuality: God forgives your sins, but your neighbors never forget it.<\/b>\n
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You can see how deeply this idea of irreplaceable purity is in the verbs they choose.\n
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When describing past interactions \u2013 I can\u2019t call them sins \u2013 Ms. Mally writes in simple past tense like \u201cSomething was dirty\u201d and \u201cIt was black\u201d or a verb phrase like \u201cto clean up a filthy mess. \u00a0The net result is a strong, clear, unconditional statement of disgust.<\/li>\n
Compare that to the verbs she chooses to describe the purity offered by Christ: \u201c[it has] been washed, [it has] been cleansed\u201d \u201cbut now it is white\u201d and \u201cA white rag may have been used\u201d. \u00a0By adding conditional verbs or placing the sentence as a dependent clause, the message is that purity itself is conditional and dependent on actions \u2013 even when the person is redeemed in Christ!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
The strangest thing to me is that the entire section places the purity that comes from Christ redeeming our sins as of less importance than Emo-Pur (emotional purity). \u00a0After describing that we are all sinners lacking purity in our relationship with Christ, Ms. Mally doubles down to make sure that we are clear that Emo-Pure has two types of purity \u2013 the original and the type offered for people who have \u201cmessed up.:<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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What is radiant purity? Well, I believe inward purity is outwardly visible. It\u2019s seen in our countenance. It\u2019s seen in our eyes. It\u2019s seen in our joy. It seems we boldly take a stand\u2013 not just \u201cgoing along\u201d with this idea of purity, but excitedly making it known to others. (pg. 26)<\/span><\/em><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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Hmph. \u00a0I remember the innocent Mel of yesteryear who wouldn\u2019t have been creeped out by the noun \u201ccountenance.\u201d \u00a0That Mel wouldn\u2019t have immediately started Googling combinations of \u201cSarah Mally\u201d and \u201cGothard\u201d, \u201cInstitutes\u201d, \u201cIBLP\u201d etc.\n
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I don\u2019t know if the Mallys are involved or were involved with Gothardism. \u00a0If they were, they\u2019ve done a good job of scrubbing their blog of any mention. \u00a0\u201cBefore\u2026.Charming\u201d is being sold through IBLP, though.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
Jeepers. \u00a0It\u2019s not enough to merely be a first-line, squeaky pure person; you have to rub it in everyone else\u2019s face.\n
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Based on my scant perusal of Grace Mally\u2019s blog, her family is really into Kamikaze witnessing \u2013 those people who appear out of nowhere in a public place and start trying to give you pamphlets or tracts or try to convince you to say the \u201cSinner\u2019s Prayer\u201d when all you want to do is watch the local fireworks or parade\u2026..\n
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My quick ways to escape:\n
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Pretend I\u2019m deaf and start using ASL.<\/li>\n
Let my husband start chattering in German.<\/li>\n
Say with true enthusiasm \u201cOh, I loved this (pamphlet, tract, whatever)! It changed my life. \u00a0 Good luck on getting your Girl Scout (or Boy Scout) badge!\u201d \u00a0Run while they try to figure out what the hell you meant by that.<\/li>\n
Look over their shoulder, wave like you see someone you know, make a quick apology and run.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
The next chapter is \u2013 damn it \u2013 \u201cDangers with the Dating System\u201d. \u00a0Lost that bet.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
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Introduction<\/a> | Part 1<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
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Mel is a science teacher who works with at-risk teens and lives on a dairy farm with her husband. She blogs at\u00a0When Cows and Kids Collide<\/a><\/strong> She is also an very valuable source of scientific information for us here at NLQ. Mel is also blessed with the ability to look at the issues of Quiverfull with a rational mind and break them down to their most basic of elements.<\/p>\n
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Stay in touch! Like No Longer Quivering on Facebook:<\/em><\/p>\n
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Comments open below<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\nNLQ Recommended Reading \u2026<\/strong><\/h1>\nQuiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement<\/a> by Kathryn Joyce<\/strong><\/h4>\n
13:24 \u2013 A Story of Faith and Obsession<\/a> by M Dolon Hickmon<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Comments open below<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\nNLQ Recommended Reading \u2026<\/strong><\/h1>\nQuiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement<\/a> by Kathryn Joyce<\/strong><\/h4>\n
13:24 \u2013 A Story of Faith and Obsession<\/a> by M Dolon Hickmon<\/strong><\/h4>\n

NLQ Recommended Reading \u2026<\/strong><\/h1>\nQuiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement<\/a> by Kathryn Joyce<\/strong><\/h4>\n
13:24 \u2013 A Story of Faith and Obsession<\/a> by M Dolon Hickmon<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement<\/a> by Kathryn Joyce<\/strong><\/h4>\n
13:24 \u2013 A Story of Faith and Obsession<\/a> by M Dolon Hickmon<\/strong><\/h4>\n

13:24 \u2013 A Story of Faith and Obsession<\/a> by M Dolon Hickmon<\/strong><\/h4>\n