{"id":41286,"date":"2017-05-07T17:00:48","date_gmt":"2017-05-07T21:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/nolongerquivering\/?p=41286"},"modified":"2017-05-06T18:07:01","modified_gmt":"2017-05-06T22:07:01","slug":"hidden-help-meet-stand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nolongerquivering\/2017\/05\/hidden-help-meet-stand\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hidden Help Meet: Stand By Your Man – Chapter 1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

$\"hiddenhelpmeet\"$ <\/a>by Suzanne Titkemeyer<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Starting a new review series of Debi Pearl\u2019s newest toxic book on marriage, The Hidden Help Meet: Stand By Your Man. Reading the title of the book two things strike you. First, Debi must think she is e.e. cummings because the entire title on the cover is in un-capitalized print. Secondly, it reminds me of this classic scene from the movie \u201cThe Blues Brothers.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/iframe>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n\u00a0<\/p>\nSeriously, I cannot stop giggling at this book. Debi copied\/transcribed the audio from a Denny Kenaston sermon titled \u201cThe Hidden Woman\u201d. Apparently the entire book is a cobbled together mess of Debi\u2019s thoughts, such that they are, and the words of this dead man with the rubber stamped approval of his widow. There is no introduction beyond Debi rambling on about how Denny taught on being the little woman behind the big man. Great, another book on silencing the voice of women and limiting their roles. First religious book I\u2019ve seen with no introduction section.<\/p>\nWhen I\u2019m quoting Debi\u2019s words the text, just like in the book, will be girly and italicized. Denny\u2019s words from the sermon are in a manly testosterone-laden New Times Roman text. Chapter one is titled \u2018Battle For the Kingdom\u2019<\/p>\n<blockquote>The powerful woman mentioned in Proverbs 31 demonstrates the home-front strategies. There is no doubt about it: a godly woman\u2019s effect on the outcome of the war against the family is staggering. Satan knows this, and he also knows a woman\u2019s weakness.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nCorrect me if I\u2019m wrong but wasn\u2019t the Proverbs 31 wife that Denny is holding up as an example a woman that owned a business and had beau coup servants? She sure does not sound at all like a \u2018hidden woman.\u2019<\/p>\nWeakness? I really don\u2019t \u2018get\u2019 that after a morning of packing and loading up heavy pieces of old furniture for the dump. Weakness is not always part of being a woman. I\u2019ve been spackling holes in the plaster and moving the washer and dryer in preparation to paint. I feel pretty certain that would horrify Debi and the weak women brigade.<\/p>\n<blockquote>Women need direct command clarified; they stumble if it doesn\u2019t seen fair or appears unjust.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\nBut Debi does not seem to remember that she\u2019s oft stated that you are never to question your man, you are to do what he requests cheerfully, readily and without question. Another example of the theological game of Twister she indulges in, unable to be consistent from idea to idea.<\/p>\nShe continues on this is vein of women having their \u2018ears tickled\u2019 by preachers and not wanting to submit, support their husbands and other patriarchal shaming and blaming nonsense before ending up here:<\/p>\n<blockquote>When the biblical role of man and woman is brought up in court during a divorce, it becomes a laughing matter. Evil wins.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\nOh hell no! That SHOULD be laughed out of the courtroom and has no part of a divorce proceedings! But I just hear some poor sad sack whining Good Patriarch, like Biblical Gender Roles Larry Solomon, saying something like that. I can just picture Larry whining to the judge that the first Mrs. Solomon refuses to have sex with him upon demand and insisted on working outside of the home, disrespecting his antiquated ideas and the judge open-mouthed staring at Larry thinking \u2018Who is this idiot?\u2019<\/p>\nDebi goes on to claim because the Bible says that God made Eve out of Adam\u2019s rib that she\u2019s to be beside him as his help meet. There\u2019s just one problem. The scripture she uses to justify this idea says nothing of the sort. It talks of making a \u2018helper\u2019 for Adam, not a slave, or a rah-rah cheerleader.<\/p>\nThe book then moves into another toxic direction in the next paragraph, with the same twisted Tilt-O-Whirl leaps of illogic practiced by Debi Pearl acolyte and fawning sycophant in chief <a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nolongerquivering\/2017\/04\/power-transformed-wife-love-jesus-shut\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\">Lori Alexander in her book \u2018The Power of the Transformed Wife\u2019.<\/a> Debi goes to a woman covering her head because she is the glory of man, not God.<\/p>\nWay to replace God with the husband. Like that does not open up a woman to abuse from a petty tin-plated dictator of a wanna-be God.<\/p>\n<blockquote>But I do know that one of the reasons God established the role of a wife under the man\u2019s leadership is \u2018because of the angels\u2019.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\nThe author also admits she does not what that actually means. She blames it on the angels in Genesis that were boinking human women and creating a race of giants, one of the weirdest bits in the Bible. Because warring angels.<\/p>\nDebi leaps again, this time to working women and divorce:<\/p>\n<blockquote>Divorce is at an all time high, which results in children growing up sitting in a house alone, watching trash on TV while eating trash because Mama is not there to oversee her charges.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\nConveniently she neglects to mention that the only very high divorce rates in the U.S. are in the Christian sector. They\u2019ve actually been steady or gone down in every other sector of the population.<\/p>\nIf divorce means getting and your children out of a toxic and abusive situation its not a bad idea. Plus, it sometimes builds a resourcefulness in family members when they have to take up some of the slack while their mother is out working to support them. Most divorced families I\u2019ve seen have chores for the kids, and they learn personal responsibility and the need for everyone in the family, let me repeat that, EVERYONE, to pull some of the work load.<\/p>\n<blockquote>The result of a woman being out from under her husband\u2019s headship is children who are insecure, emotionally tense, full of anger, unproductive, and unable to have wholesome relationships.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\nStatistics from real sources or this is all just pure speculation bent to support assertions spun out of thin air and lies. Debi\u2019s beating her favorite straw woman and sacrificial goat at the same time. There is nothing in long term studies by major universities or social work studies to support any of this!<\/p>\nDo you know who\u2019s immature, twisted, unable to think for themselves, with untreated ADD? coughcoughThePearlsKidscoughcough;<\/p>\nAnd we end the chapter with this:<\/p>\n<blockquote>If ever there was a time when a man needed a dear wife to stand beside him and say, \u201cI\u2019m here. I\u2019m with you. I\u2019m behind you. I\u2019ll help you.\u201d<\/em> that time is now.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nGood marriages occur when both partners work in tandem supporting each other in many ways. Not when one is required to be a simpering sap whispering support but doing very little to walk that out. I\u2019ve always said that my own marriage is more like partners climbing a high peak together. Sometimes one or the other will slip, miss the piton, requiring the other partner to grab their safety line and pull them up to the next level to keep them from falling off the mountain. You need so much different equipment to successfully \u2018make it\u2019 that it\u2019s good to split the load between the two climbers.<\/p>\nWe\u2019re done. This is a very thin book with the text in an insanely large font meant to pad out her parsing of a dead man\u2019s one sermon. When I pulled this book out of the mailbox my son flipped through it and said, \u2018Mom, you\u2019ll be able to read this crap in under an hour.\u2019 He wasn\u2019t far off on the timing. Why is it that the Pearls keep releasing different books that are merely rewrites of early tomes? Are they that greedy or desperate for dough?<\/p>\nNext chapter is titled \u2018God\u2019s Purpose For Women\u2019 and I suspect it\u2019s going to be a whole lot of \u2018shut up, smile and push out babies you selfish woman!\u2019<\/p>\n~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\nSuzanne Titkemeyer is the admin at No Longer Quivering. She\u2019s been out of the Quiverfull Evangelical world for nine years now and lives in the beautiful Piedmont section of Virginia for now with her retired husband and assorted creatures. She blogs at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nolongerquivering\/2016\/02\/women-are-not-like-apples\/calulu.blogspot.com\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\">Every Breaking Wave<\/a> and <a class=\"ext-link decorated-link\" title=\"\" href=\"http:\/\/truelovedoesntrape.blogspot.com\/\" rel=\"nofollow\" data-wpel-target=\"_blank\" target=\"_blank\">True Love Doesn\u2019t Rape<\/a><\/p>\n<hr>\nStay in touch! Like No Longer Quivering on Facebook:<\/em><\/p>\n<div class=\"fb-page\" data-href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/No-Longer-Qivering-%C3%B4%C3%B4-265983872480\/\" data-width=\"500\" data-small-header=\"false\" data-adapt-container-width=\"true\" data-hide-cover=\"false\" data-show-facepile=\"true\" data-show-posts=\"false\">\n<div class=\"fb-xfbml-parse-ignore\">\n<blockquote cite=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/No-Longer-Qivering-%C3%B4%C3%B4-265983872480\/\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/No-Longer-Qivering-%C3%B4%C3%B4-265983872480\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">No Longer Quivering<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\nIf this is your first time visiting NLQ please read our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nolongerquivering\/2014\/09\/welcome-new-readers-where-to-start-at-nlq\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">Welcome page<\/a> and our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nolongerquivering\/comment-policy-please-read-before-posting\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">Comment Policy<\/a>!<\/strong><\/p>\nCopyright notice: If you use any content from NLQ, including any of our research or Quoting Quiverfull quotes, please give us credit and a link back to this site. All original content is owned by No Longer Quivering and Patheos.com<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\nRead our hate mail at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jerks4jesus.com\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Jerks 4 Jesus<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\nCheck out today\u2019s NLQ News at <a href=\"http:\/\/paper.li\/NoQuivering\/nlq-news#\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">NLQ Newspaper<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\nContact NLQ at SuzanneNLQ@gmail.com<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2>Comments open below<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n<h1>NLQ Recommended Reading \u2026<\/strong><\/h1>\n<h4><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/s\/?_encoding=UTF8&camp=213733&creative=393193&linkCode=shr&tag=nolongerquivering-20&rl=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=quiverfull&sprefix=quiverfu%2Cstripbooks&rh=i%3Astripbooks%2Ck%3Aquiverfull\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\" class=\" decorated-link\">Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement<\/a> by Kathryn Joyce<\/strong><\/h4>\n<h4><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/s\/?_encoding=UTF8&camp=213733&creative=393193&linkCode=shr&tag=nolongerquivering-20&rl=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=13+24+a+story+of+faith+and+obsession&sprefix=13%3A24%2Cstripbooks%2C225&rh=n%3A283155%2Ck%3A13+24+a+story+of+faith+and+obsession\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">13:24 \u2013 A Story of Faith and Obsession<\/a> by M Dolon Hickmon<\/strong><\/h4>\n<script src=\"http:\/\/ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/widgets\/q?rt=tf_cw&ServiceVersion=20070822&MarketPlace=US&ID=V20070822%2FUS%2Ffamiliesthatflou%2F8010%2Fd1d36158-acbb-41c4-88f5-9993508379fe&Operation=GetScriptTemplate\" charset=\"utf-8\">\/\/ <![CDATA[\n\n\/\/ ]]><\/script><\/p>\n<\/p><noscript><a href=\"http:\/\/ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/widgets\/q?rt=tf_cw&ServiceVersion=20070822&MarketPlace=US&ID=V20070822%2FUS%2Ffamiliesthatflou%2F8010%2Fd1d36158-acbb-41c4-88f5-9993508379fe&Operation=NoScript\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Amazon.com Widgets<\/a><\/noscript>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"by Suzanne Titkemeyer Starting a new review series of Debi Pearl\u2019s newest toxic book on marriage, The Hidden Help Meet: Stand By Your Man. Reading the title of the book two things strike you. First, Debi must think she is e.e. cummings because the entire title on the cover is in un-capitalized print. Secondly, it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1057,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12481,7082,9373,10841,10427,10818],"tags":[13801,2714,10088,13802,7807],"class_list":["post-41286","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-keep-your-mouth-shut","category-learn-to-please-your-husband-or-else","category-you-arent-humble-enough","category-youre-doing-it-wrong","category-a-wifes-needs-are-sin","category-a-womans-submission","tag-debi-pearl-the-hidden-help-meet-stand-by-your-man","tag-nlq-book-review","tag-no-greater-joy","tag-stand-by-your-man","tag-suzanne-titkemeyer-every-breaking-wave"],"yoast_head":"\n<title>The Hidden Help Meet: Stand By Your Man - Chapter 1<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Chapter one of Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy's new book, 'The Hidden Help Meet: Stand By Your Man' - she just repackaged someone else's sermon.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/nolongerquivering\/2017\/05\/hidden-help-meet-stand\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Hidden Help Meet: Stand By Your Man - 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