![\"CulpeperBaptist\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/188\/2017\/06\/CulpeperBaptist.jpg\")
<\/a>by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\nEditor\u2019s note: Even if this type of behavior from believers isn\u2019t unique only to Quiverfull or Evagelicalism it\u2019s out there. I think most of us that move on from our old toxic faith communities experience this.<\/em><\/p>\n I did this week. Ran into a lady from my old church in the grocery store. Hadn\u2019t seen her in nine years. I stopped and spoke to her and her response was to tell me I was evil, deceitful and wicked because she thinks I caused the church split that happened three years after I left. I laughed and said it was awesome that my evil powers were getting so strong I could affect that church from afar. Seriously? Is there ever a good response to this type of nonsense? Bruce handles it much better than I.<\/em><\/p>\n Several days ago, I received an email from a Christian man by the name of Tim Clark. Here\u2019s a screen shot of Tim\u2019s email:<\/p>\n Tim could have found the answers to his \u201cthoughtful\u201d questions by exercising a bit of curiosity and reading the posts found on the\u00a0WHY\u00a0<\/a>page. Unfortunately, Tim evidently is not the curious sort, so after reading a couple of posts he decided to email me. Tim came to this site via an internet search. He landed on my post about a California pastor accused of sexual misconduct. I suspect Tim was looking for the latest dirt on this preacher, and, while reading my post, decided to email me about what he suspects is\u00a0my own \u201cimmorality.\u201d<\/p>\n Tim\u2019s email subject line says, \u201cAre you \u201cfree\u201d now? He put the word free is scare quotes. I assume he did so because he believes that no one is truly free unless they\u00a0have been saved; that non-Christians such as myself are in bondage to sin and Satan. Telling Tim,\u00a0YES, I AM FREE, THANK REASON, I AM FREE<\/b>, will surely fall on deaf ears. For Tim and other zealots like him, the dictates of the Bible\u00a0determine\u00a0who is free and who is not. Christians are free, everyone else is not. No amount of discussion will change Tim\u2019s view of me. I walked away from Jesus, and nobody does that without having some sort of secret\u00a0desire\u00a0to live sinfully, especially sexual sin. (It\u2019s always sexual sin, right? Evangelicals are voyeurs, obsessed with sex \u2014 who is doing it, when, where, how, and with whom.)<\/p>\n My first thought after reading Tim\u2019s email was to tell him to\u00a0go fornicate with himself<\/i>. I am more than a little tired of self-righteous Evangelicals who refuse to accept my story at face value. I am beyond tired when it comes to receiving emails and Facebook comments from Christians who are certain that there is some other reason than what I have stated for my loss of faith. But, tired as I\u00a0may be, I will muster up a bit of strength so I can answer Tim\u2019s questions. Or are they accusations? Either way, here are my answers.<\/p>\n Did I \u201cturn from the faith\u201d to \u201cjustify\u00a0some sin in [my] life\u201d?\u00a0 No, I did not. As the posts on the\u00a0WHY\u00a0<\/a>page make clear, the primary reason I deconverted was that I no longer believed the central claims of Christianity; I no longer believed the Bible was what Christians claimed it was; I no longer believed the Christians narrative could be intellectually and rationally sustained. Simply put, Christianity no longer made any sense to me. (Please read\u00a0The Michael Mock Rule: It Just Doesn\u2019t Make Sense<\/a>.)<\/p>\n What Tim really wants to know is whether I turned from\u00a0the\u00a0faith to\u00a0justify\u00a0\u201cimmorality\u201d in my life? Why would I have left Evangelicalism to live an immoral life? As\u00a0The Black Collar Crime series<\/a>\u00a0makes clear, Evangelical preachers can commit adultery, fornication, and even be sexual predators, all while preaching the gospel and condemning sinful behaviors. If I desired to have sexual affairs, chase after prostitutes, frequent gay bars, or get\u00a0massages\u00a0at the local massage parlor, I could have done so and still remained an Evangelical pastor. When feeling guilt or conviction over my immorality, all I would have had to do was confess my sins (I John 1:9<\/a>) and Jesus would cleanse me of my sin.<\/p>\n I can tell Tim this much,\u00a0I have never had an affair.<\/i>\u00a0Thirty-nine years ago, I stood at the altar of the Newark Baptist Temple and told my bride that I would be faithful to her unto death. I can humbly say that I have kept that vow. I am far from perfect, having done things that are sure\u00a0to be\u00a0on Tim\u2019s sin list, but not adultery. Have I ever looked at porn, been to a strip club, walked through the door of an adult book store, or \u201clusted\u201d after a woman who is not my wife? Yes. And a survey of Christian men would show that most of them have too. In fact, I am\u00a0quite\u00a0sure that Tim, if he is a normal, healthy, heterosexual male, has lusted after women too. Jesus said in\u00a0Matthew 5:28<\/a>:<\/p>\n But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I have no doubt that most men, at one time or the other, have \u201clooked on a woman to lust after her\u201d and have \u201ccommitted adultery with her already in his heart.\u201d<\/p>\n Evangelical zealots looking to root out the real reasons for my loss of faith will continue to poke and prod, hoping that I will someday\u00a0reveal\u00a0the secret sins that lie buried in the depths of my sin-darkened heart. These\u00a0Geraldo\u00a0Riveras of Christianity will surely be disappointed. I have been quite transparent, open, and honest about my past and the reasons I am no longer a Christian. If the\u00a0Tims\u00a0of the world can\u2019t accept what I say at face value, that\u2019s their problem, not mine. Have I aired out every corner of my life for all to see? Of course not. As all writers do, I choose what I want to tell readers, leaving buried things that are too painful to talk about. Perhaps someday I will write about the secrets that remain, but for now I have told all I need to tell to adequately relate my story. Readers can rest assured that there will be no women coming forward to tell about having adulterous liaisons with Bruce Gerencser.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t Women Chose to Stay in Fundamentalism<\/a><\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n ~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0member,\u00a0Bruce Gerencser\u00a0<\/strong>blogs at\u00a0The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser<\/a>\u00a0He writes from the unique perspective of having been a pastor for many years and having seen it all in churches. His journey out of being a true believer and pastor has been an interesting and informative one.<\/p>\n Bruce Gerencser spent 25 years pastoring Independent Fundamental Baptist, Southern Baptist, and Christian Union churches in Ohio, Michigan, and Texas. Bruce attended Midwestern Baptist College in Pontiac, Michigan. He is a writer and operates\u00a0The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser blog<\/a>. Bruce lives in NW Ohio with his wife of 35 years. They have six\u00a0children, and eleven grandchildren.<\/p>\n Stay in touch! Like No Longer Quivering on Facebook:<\/em><\/p>\n No Longer Quivering<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n If this is your first time visiting NLQ please read our Welcome page<\/a> and our Comment Policy<\/a>!<\/strong><\/p>\n Copyright notice: If you use any content from NLQ, including any of our research or Quoting Quiverfull quotes, please give us credit and a link back to this site. All original content is owned by No Longer Quivering and Patheos.com<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Read our hate mail at Jerks 4 Jesus<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Check out today\u2019s NLQ News at NLQ Newspaper<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Contact NLQ at SuzanneNLQ@gmail.com<\/strong><\/p>\n![\"email-from-tim-clark\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/188\/2017\/06\/email-from-tim-clark.jpg\")
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<\/a>Read more from Bruce Gerencser<\/em><\/p>\n
\nComments open below<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
NLQ Recommended Reading \u2026<\/strong><\/h1>\n
Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement<\/a> by Kathryn Joyce<\/strong><\/h4>\n
13:24 \u2013 A Story of Faith and Obsession<\/a> by M Dolon Hickmon<\/strong><\/h4>\n