Did you know that witches hang out at the CNN Center Food court? Well, they do. Or at least one of them does. You wouldn\u2019t be able to pick her out in a crowd of business-dress professionals, which was what I was trying to do now.<\/p>\n
A few weeks before my trip, we had set up a time and place to meet for a cup of coffee or tea that would be quick and convenient for both of us. She was dying to get caught up on all the Pagan community news and I was happy just to talk to her again. Other than that quick email, which should appear to anyone else as a business email, we hadn\u2019t spoken in months.<\/p>\n
Katie had just gone through a nasty divorce. Is there any other kind? I\u2019m not sure, but what made this one so heartbreaking was that Katie decided to give up all outward signs she was practicing her religion out of fear she would lose custody of her daughter. During the legal battle she felt the judge was looking at her religion unfavorably and she wasn\u2019t willing to take the risk.<\/p>\n
Katie and her ex had met at an Open Circle, which is a religious service that anyone can join in as long as they are polite and respectful. Katie had already belonged to a coven for 3 years, but Jim had just begun his spiritual journey. After they dated for a few years, they decided to jump the broom and get married. Jim never did join a coven, but he continued to go to Open Circles and holiday events for almost the entire 4 years of their marriage.<\/p>\n
About 2 years ago, after the birth of their daughter, Jim started attending a Baptist church. At first Katie encouraged him to go since she could see that Jim was still searching for his own spiritual path. Six months later the fights started. He called her religion demonic and said he wouldn\u2019t allow their child to be tainted by evil. Katie was stunned. How could Jim have changed this much in such a short time? He was a sweet, shy man who most people classified as \u201ceasy-going\u201d. Now he was contemptuous of anyone and anything that he thought was sinful. Then came the ultimatum from Jim: give up your religion or he would take their child and leave. If he loved her, how could he ask her to do this?<\/p>\n
In order to explain to non-Pagan readers how devastating this proposition is, let me take just a moment to fill you in. The fellow members of a coven aren\u2019t like members of a church. A coven is a very small group, usually under 14 people, and the bond you form with them is like a combination of best friends and family. Those Wiccans that have been in the military liken the coven bond to that of squad buddies who have saved each others\u2019 lives during war. It\u2019s that tight. For this reason, covens are very selective about who they allow to join. Prospective coveners can go through years of joining in semi-public actives before being asked to join, if they are ever asked. Of course, some people decide it just isn\u2019t their thing and choose not to join a coven and happily remain a Solitary.<\/p>\n
Continued \u2014><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So when a Wiccan in a coven is given that ultimatum by a spouse, and Katie\u2019s story is not unique, they are being asked to give up both their religion and their family-by-choice all in one shot. It takes away their entire emotional and spiritual support network. Katie fought for her marriage with an attempt at joint counseling, then she fought for her faith in court, now she is reduced to just fighting daily to keep her child. Could she have taken a chance that the judge would be open-minded enough to view her religion as \u201creal\u201d and benign? Sure, but the risk was too great. She gave in.\u00a0 Katie left the coven and she no no longer goes to festivals or meets with other Pagans. She prays alone, in secret. Her husband was, and continues to, pushing hard for full custody to save his little girl from the evil inside her mother.<\/p>\n
Since I\u2019m not from the area and therefore low risk, I\u2019m now sitting down with her to have a cup of chai and exchange news. We catch up on each others lives, kids, and careers. Within moments we are laughing and talking as fast as we can. The emotional turmoil of her divorce had hit her hard and threatened to stall a very promising career, but now it seems to be taking off again.<\/p>\n
The 20 minutes we could both squeeze in to meet goes too fast. She has to get to work and I have to get back to the conference. As we both realize it\u2019s time to go we fall silent, smiles sliding off our faces. Tears form in her eyes and I hug her as tight as I can. \u201cBe strong, this isn\u2019t forever. Things can change,\u201d I whisper into her ear. \u201cI know, but this is so hard and I\u2019m all alone,\u201d she whispers. I pull back so I can look into her eyes and I say this as firmly as I can, \u201cYou are not alone. The Gods are always with you. No one can take Them away and no one can control what\u2019s in your heart and mind. Your coven prays for you at every Circle. You are not alone.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n Katie pulls herself together and tries to smile back. A quick last hug and she is off, briefcase in hand, tasteful heels clicking on the floor. I stare after her for a moment thinking what a shitty, cruel world this can be.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Did you know that witches hang out at the CNN Center Food court? Well, they do. Or at least one of them does. You wouldn\u2019t be able to pick her out in a crowd of business-dress professionals, which was what I was trying to do now. A few weeks before my trip, we had set […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":35,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1177","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-paganism"],"yoast_head":"\n