{"id":2876,"date":"2014-04-01T08:51:58","date_gmt":"2014-04-01T14:51:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/paperbacktheology\/?p=2876"},"modified":"2014-04-01T08:55:17","modified_gmt":"2014-04-01T14:55:17","slug":"best-april-fools-prank-ever-sidd-finch-why-april-fools-day-is-stupid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/paperbacktheology\/2014\/04\/best-april-fools-prank-ever-sidd-finch-why-april-fools-day-is-stupid.html","title":{"rendered":"Best Prank Ever: Sidd Finch & Why April Fools’ Day is Stupid"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/a>I have a problem with April Fools\u2019 Day\u2026 several, actually.<\/p>\n

First:<\/strong> apostrophe or no apostrophe? Isn\u2019t it acceptable to write \u201cApril Fools Day,\u201d sans apostrophe?\u00a0And if we are to go with an apostrophe, where do you put it? \u201cApril Fool\u2019s Day\u201d or \u201cApril Fools\u2019 Day\u201d? I\u2019m pretty sure it is the latter, which means there is no way to write it without looking like a stuffy grammatical elitist \u2013 which is clearly not what this day is about. And how would you pronounce it? \u201cApril Fools-es Day\u201d? Even the day\u2019s title is beset with incoherent tension.<\/p>\n

Second:<\/strong> and this is my main objection; How can an empathic person derive any kind of enjoyment or satisfaction from causing and watching another person\u2019s discomfort? The answer is: they can\u2019t. Which means that April Fools\u2019 Day is really just training in the lack of empathy \u2013 something at which are society already excels without the dedicated day. Seriously, why is it fun<\/em> to cause a family member or coworker to look and feel silly and foolish? There\u2019s a reason we call it \u201cjunior high humor.\u201d It was only funny when we were all completely immature.<\/p>\n

This is why I could never enjoy Jackass<\/em>, or the radio talk show cold-call pranks\u2026 immaturity at its best; the effective capitalization of extended adolescence. This is also why I don\u2019t enjoy watching Stephen Colbert\u2019s interview segments, especially the taped ones. I cannot enjoy watching one person intentionally make a victim of another person. All I can think about is how much it sucks to be on the business end of a practical joke. It trips my internal justice meter, and then I\u2019m struggling with my commitment to non-violence as I want to punch a prankster. And who needs that?<\/p>\n

So, fair warning: it might be April Fools\/Fool\u2019s\/Fools\u2019 Day today, but if I\u2019m around someone who is playing a practical joke I will purposefully ruin the joke before it ever happens. And if the joke\u2019s on me? Well then, to quote the great Rod Tidwell, \u201cI don\u2019t wanna be friends no more.\u201d<\/p>\n

You know why? Empathy.<\/p>\n

Are the exceptions to my \u201cApril Fools\u2019 Day pranks are stupid\u201d rule? I think there are exceptions. I think children attempting to pull an April Fools\u2019 Day prank on adults \u2013 like students with their teachers, or children with their parents \u2013 can be productive because it teaches kids to question authority in temporary, small ways. It can also feed their creativity.<\/p>\n

I also think that the elaborate news story hoaxes can be a rare April Fools\u2019 Day exception. Everything from The Onion<\/em>, fits the bill because everyone knows what they are reading is satire, and we read in private \u2013 so there\u2019s no public humiliation (usually<\/a>).<\/p>\n

By that measure, in my opinion, the best April Fools\u2019 Day prank of all times has to be the one engineered by George Plimpton in his 1985\u00a0Sports Illustrated<\/em> article \u201cThe Curious Case of Sidd Finch.\u201d Plimpton was asked to write an article on April Fools\u2019 jokes in sports and couldn\u2019t find anything noteworthy. So he decided to manufacture his own.<\/p>\n

Plimpton\u2019s feature article described a pitching prospect in the Mets organization. His name was Hayden Siddhartha Finch \u2013 \u201cSidd\u201d for short. Sidd Finch was a 6-foot-4 phenom from Chicago, who grew up in an English orphanage, and was\u00a0adopted by an archaeologist who later died in a mysterious Nepalese plan crash. Finch did a brief stint at Harvard but left school to study yoga in Tibet, where he became something of a zen master. His only possessions were a rug and a food bowl, and when he pitched he wore only one shoe \u2013 a ratty hiking boot. But he could throw a 168 mph fastball with pinpoint control. Despite his obvious talent and overwhelming advantage, Sidd Finch was currently deciding between professional baseball and the French horn.<\/p>\n

Baseball was in turmoil about Sidd Finch, because he reportedly had not yet signed a contract. Finch was bizarre and aloof. He\u2019d appear out of nowhere at the Mets\u2019 training facility. Sometimes he\u2019d pitch for 5 minutes, sometimes a half-hour. He was experiencing a moral-existential dilemma because baseball was based in greed, hatred, and deception \u2013 things Sidd had shunned. Nobody knew if he would actually sign a contract. Nobody knew if we would ever get to see him pitch.<\/p>\n

I remember reading the article when it came in the mail. I couldn\u2019t believe what I was reading, but I totally believed what I was reading. I wasn\u2019t the only one. The Mets PR department was castigated for allowing Sports Illustrated<\/em> to have an exclusive on Finch, instead of the New York media. Two general managers reportedly called the commissioner of baseball voicing concerns for hitters standing in the box against a pitcher with that kind of velocity. Reporters were dispatched to the Mets training camp to try and find the rookie pitcher. One radio host claimed to have seen Finch in action. And Mets fans? They went crazy.<\/p>\n

The subtitle of the article read: \u201cH<\/strong>e\u2019s a<\/strong> p<\/strong>itcher, p<\/strong>art y<\/strong>ogi a<\/strong>nd p<\/strong>art r<\/strong>ecluse. I<\/strong>mpressively l<\/strong>iberated f<\/strong>rom o<\/strong>ur o<\/strong>pulent l<\/strong>ife-style, S<\/strong>idd\u2019s d<\/strong>eciding a<\/strong>bout y<\/strong>oga\u00a0\u2014 a<\/strong>nd h<\/strong>is f<\/strong>uture i<\/strong>n b<\/strong>aseball.\u201d The first letters of each word spell out: \u201cHappy April Fools Day \u2013 ah \u2013 fib.\u201d (sans apostrophe, by the way).<\/p>\n

It was genius, but then Plimpton was a genius.<\/p>\n

Which brings me to my third<\/strong> objection. Good Pranks should not simply victimize gullible people. Good pranks should be a an elegant work of imaginative helping us understand who we are as people, and as a culture. A good prank is not a live-action burp and fart joke. A good prank is satire, we just don\u2019t know it at first \u2013 we are \u201cfooled.\u201d<\/p>\n

Plimpton\u2019s article highlighted the American fascination with dominance and winning. Despite the obvious absurdity of Sidd Finch\u2019s tale, we bought it. We believed it because we wanted<\/em> it to be true. So we learned something about ourselves that day; something about our lust for winning, our quest for the silver bullet, and our appetite for world dominance.<\/p>\n

So I will not wish you a happy April Fools\/Fool\u2019s\/Fools\u2019 Day, I will wish you a prank free April 1st.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have a problem with April Fools\u2019 Day\u2026 several, actually. First: apostrophe or no apostrophe? Isn\u2019t it acceptable to write \u201cApril Fools Day,\u201d sans apostrophe?\u00a0And if we are to go with an apostrophe, where do you put it? \u201cApril Fool\u2019s Day\u201d or \u201cApril Fools\u2019 Day\u201d? I\u2019m pretty sure it is the latter, which means there […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1118,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[935,936,937,938,273,939],"class_list":["post-2876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-april-fools-day","tag-george-plimpton","tag-sidd-finch","tag-sports-illustrated","tag-stephen-colbert","tag-the-curious-case-of-sidd-finch"],"yoast_head":"\nBest Prank Ever: Sidd Finch & Why April Fools' Day is Stupid<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I have a problem with April Fools' Day... several, actually. First: apostrophe or no apostrophe? 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