{"id":3631,"date":"2014-10-06T10:00:09","date_gmt":"2014-10-06T16:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/paperbacktheology\/?p=3631"},"modified":"2014-10-06T10:00:09","modified_gmt":"2014-10-06T16:00:09","slug":"monday-morning-confessional-fatherhood-ian-cron-chasing-the-rhino","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/paperbacktheology\/2014\/10\/monday-morning-confessional-fatherhood-ian-cron-chasing-the-rhino.html","title":{"rendered":"Monday Morning Confessional: Fatherhood, Ian Cron, & Chasing the Rhino"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"PC\"<\/a>I confess that my daily routine has been completely whacked lately. I blame the Kansas City Royals\u2019 three extra-innings playoff games in a row, after which I\u2019m so jacked up, it takes me awhile to come back down. My body doesn\u2019t seem to know what to do, so it just keeps trying to get me to lie down. I just woke up and it\u2019s telling me to go back to bed. I cannot. First comes breakfast with the kids.<\/p>\n

I confess that in the course of my work, I often meet with people for breakfast. I am nearly always up and out of the house early\u00a0on\u00a0Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday\u00a0I am up before dawn and out the door to the office to get a jump on writing long before the boys wake up. That leaves Monday morning as my one day to get up and be with my kids before school. My oldest sets an alarm for\u00a07am so that he and his brother\u00a0can get ready for school, and still have a half hour\u00a0to mess around and play before they leave. I confess that I love this about them. They are pretty funny in the morning.<\/p>\n

I confess that my goal in life (at the present time), is to learn how to work my schedule so that I can be home all morning on Saturday, if not all day. This\u00a0means my\u00a0sermon prep hours must be protected more diligently over the course of my week. Keeping a handle on my schedule is a work in progress. This has never been my strong suit.<\/p>\n

I confess that I recently ran across a quote that haunts me about my own role as a father. Anne Sexton wrote, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.\u201d Thank you for that little gem, Anne. That\u2019s a thought that will fester. I\u2019m pretty sure what my kids will remember is that I was always working. I really hope they remember that We danced to loud music every night while taking showers, that we read every night before bedtime, that I coached their little league teams, and was almost always home for dinner. What I\u2019m afraid is that they\u2019ll just remember I was never around when they woke up. Do all fathers wonder, in real time, if they are screwing up their own children? I know that fathers who are unceasingly confident about their own parenting, the ones who are sure they are always doing it right, they cause\u00a0me to struggle with my commitment to nonviolence.<\/p>\n

I confess that I\u2019m heading up to the abbey today for a short retreat with the AMO (Associated Ministerial Order). This is a group of pastors and ministry leaders who have banded together for the purpose of soul-care, ordination, and theological conversation. It is a spiritual order (not a denomination), whose goal is to cultivate a healthy common life among pastors of all kinds.<\/p>\n

The AMO\u00a0is comprised of people who are committed to the contemplative life and practice of ministry. Most of us found that denominations offered theologically or polity based connectivity, but were not equipped to facilitate the kind of deep connection pastors need in order to do their job well over time.<\/p>\n

The AMO meets\u00a0together monthly for soul-care and we take two retreats together each year. We have a process for ordination which is focused more on cultivating Christian brother\/sisterhood than merely granting the credential. And we are engaged in an ongoing and diverse conversation about theology and the practice of ministry. I was ordained by the AMO, and these are some of my most trusted friends in life and ministry.<\/p>\n

On our fall retreat we usually try to engage an author or thought leader who can spur our imaginations for what it means to live a healthy life. Past guests have been author Robert Benson (A Good Life<\/a>, Between the Dreaming and the Coming True<\/a><\/em>) and Richard Rohr, although we had to go all the way to Albuquerque to see him.<\/p>\n

This year our guest is Ian Cron, author of Chasing Francis<\/a><\/em>, and Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me<\/a><\/em>. I first met Ian a few\u00a0years ago. It was the week\u00a0following Easter Sunday\u2013maybe the Monday after. My friend Mike King brought\u00a0Ian into town and invited a bunch of friends who are involved in ministry, especially those who are drawn to the contemplative life, to a slow, contemplative, rich eucharist. We spent two hours in the tiny Pilgrim Chapel in Hyde Park, listening to God, listening to Ian, listening to each others, and in silence\u2013listening to God.<\/p>\n

I confess that the time we spent together that day is still paying dividends in my life. The season of Lent and Holy Week can take a lot out of a pastor. To take good time the next week to engage with someone like Ian was a real gift. Ian\u00a0talked a lot about silence and the nature of the soul while he ran out quote, after profound quote by us, all of them talking about what it means to pursue a deep and rich life with God.<\/p>\n

I confess that the one line Ian used that I remember went something like, \u201cSounds are like gnats on the back of a rhino. Silence is the rhino.\u201d I think you could say activity is quite\u00a0similar to sound. I\u2019m going to the abbey to chase the rhino.<\/p>\n

Okay friends, that\u2019s my confession for today. The comment section below is here for you to make yours:<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I confess that my daily routine has been completely whacked lately. I blame the Kansas City Royals\u2019 three extra-innings playoff games in a row, after which I\u2019m so jacked up, it takes me awhile to come back down. My body doesn\u2019t seem to know what to do, so it just keeps trying to get me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1118,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[790,1169,1170,1171,4,880],"class_list":["post-3631","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-amo","tag-anne-sexton","tag-fatherhood","tag-ian-cron","tag-monday-morning-confessional","tag-silence"],"yoast_head":"\nMonday Morning Confessional: Fatherhood, Ian Cron, & Chasing the Rhino<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I confess that my daily routine has been completely whacked lately. 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