Shrink<\/em><\/a>, called \u201cCooperation and the Mythic Failure of Competition.\u201d A friend of mine\u00a0once sat with a group of Hispanic parents and asked them what they thought about the culture of Johnson County, Kansas where we live. Their first comment was, \u201cYou guys really care about sports. You organize your whole life around them.\u201d The implication was, \u201cWe care about things like working four part-time jobs and not getting deported.\u201d<\/p>\nIt\u2019s true, kid\u2019s sports in America is how we rehearse our children for the dog-eat-dog world of consumer capitalism. How else will we teach them how to scratch their way to the top of the heap in this world of scarcity and fear? I get the critiques. I am down with the critiques.<\/p>\n
However,\u00a0I\u2019ve been watching my sons over the last month, and I\u2019ve noticed something good, something that makes me proud of them, and grateful for this Royals playoff run \u2013 even if it did end in heartbreak.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s good to care about something, to care deeply enough that you can get hurt by it. To care deeply about something makes us vulnerable to pain. That vulnerability is essential to a good life, essential to a deep sense of love & community. Human beings need the courage to be vulnerable. This courage comes in small doses as we learn to care about things, even silly things like baseball.<\/p>\n
To refuse to care deeply as a means of not getting hurt, or not feeling vulnerable, is choosing a life that is less than God wants for us. Brene\u2019 Brown calls it \u201cforeboding joy.\u201d When one begins to care too deeply\u00a0it may strike fear in the heart. One will\u00a0begin to dress rehearse tragedy, holding back and refusing\u00a0care. Being \u201cto cool to care,\u201d and thereby refusing to invest\u2026 all of those are code for \u201cI\u2019m\u00a0don\u2019t want to get hurt, so I\u2019m shutting down part of my heart.\u201d But, you can\u2019t selectively numb emotion, so\u00a0it\u2019s a slippery slope.<\/p>\n
Both of my kids went to bed in tears last night. \u201cThose pitches were so high! Why were they swinging at them? If they would\u2019ve just laid off the high ones they could\u2019ve gotten a good pitch to hit. Why didn\u2019t they send Gordon? Did we just waste our whole season?\u201d That is just a taste\u2026 it was agony.<\/p>\n
But, I\u2019m not sorry. I\u2019m so glad they cared about something. They are learning how to risk, learning how to be vulnerable by caring about something, even if it is a silly game, and professional sports at that. If they learn that they can care about the Royals\u00a0and lose, and still be okay? Then maybe they will have the confidence to care about other things, bigger things, things that matter deeply; things like feeding a family and immigration.<\/p>\n
I am resolved to affirm that in my\u00a0kids\u2019 lives. I\u2019m going to continue to reinforce how proud of them it makes me to see them care. I\u2019m going to let them relive the moment as many times as it takes, and so long as it is safe to do so, we will never hold back our affections so as to not get hurt. That\u2019s how you learn to be a human being. That\u2019s how you allow yourself to love and be loved in return.<\/p>\n
So I\u2019ll say what I\u2019ve been saying for the past 12 hours: No regrets. Thank you, 2014 Kansas City Royals, for an amazing season. You guys are all heart.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I know it\u2019s just a silly game. More than that, it\u2019s professional sports, so it\u2019s corrupt and corrupting. There\u2019s a whole chapter in my\u00a0most recent\u00a0book,\u00a0Shrink, called \u201cCooperation and the Mythic Failure of Competition.\u201d A friend of mine\u00a0once sat with a group of Hispanic parents and asked them what they thought about the culture of Johnson […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1118,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[623,668,1191,757,1101],"class_list":["post-3698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-brene-brown","tag-kc-royals","tag-regret","tag-royals","tag-vulnerability"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/a>I know it\u2019s just a silly game. More than that, it\u2019s professional sports, so it\u2019s corrupt and corrupting. There\u2019s a whole chapter in my\u00a0most recent\u00a0book,\u00a0Shrink<\/em><\/a>, called \u201cCooperation and the Mythic Failure of Competition.\u201d A friend of mine\u00a0once sat with a group of Hispanic parents and asked them what they thought about the culture of Johnson County, Kansas where we live. Their first comment was, \u201cYou guys really care about sports. You organize your whole life around them.\u201d The implication was, \u201cWe care about things like working four part-time jobs and not getting deported.\u201d<\/p>\n