want<\/em> us to live. After a good forty years we finally grow tired of this approach.<\/p>\nHere\u2019s where it goes south for some people. Their response is to bail on all of their commitments and start a whole new life\u2026 huge mistake. When people do this, all of their problems follow them and nothing essentially changes except that they have become more selfish and destructive. The only way to thrive through your inevitable midlife crisis is to keep FIDELITY at the center of your life. Keep your covenants and promises.<\/p>\n
Stay in your life; don\u2019t go trying to find a new one.<\/em><\/p>\nThe GIFT of midlife is that we stop trying to live the life others want us to live, and try to live our own life. This is a gift because we don\u2019t decide<\/em> to do this. It just happens. We just wake up one day and realize we are tired of the silly games we\u2019ve played for 40 years.<\/p>\nThe CRISIS of mid-life is brought about by the sudden realization that as we attempt to live the life that is authentic to us, we must face the painful truth: We don\u2019t really know who we are.<\/em> This triggers the existential crisis.<\/p>\nThis is the crux-move. Will this realization cause us to\u00a0retrench, to bristle and fight to keep the status quo? Or will we dive headlong into the unknown and trust that God can keep us alive? Will we become more rigid, or more pliable? Resist, or surrender. That\u2019s the choice.<\/p>\n
One of the greatest gifts of the past five years has been to realize I don\u2019t know myself as well as I thought. There\u2019s no shame in admitting this because nobody escapes this reality, at least not in North America. The realization brings such freedom. The freedom is confusing and disorienting at first, and it means settling in for a lot of difficult realizations. The changes we face at midlife involve a metamorphosis every bit as dramatic as puberty.<\/p>\n
However, if we can admit that we have much to learn about ourselves, and if we can live in fidelity to others as we go about the long process of self-discovery, then the midlife event is not so much a crisis as it is an incredible gift.<\/p>\n
Not to say there aren\u2019t seasons of depression, sadness, confusion, etc., but even those can be exhilarating in their own way. It\u2019s painful to scrape away the false self and let the true self begin to stretch its legs. But, it\u2019s a good pain\u2014like a hard workout. Over time, it can become profoundly beautiful.<\/p>\n
So, my confession today is that I\u2019m in the middle of a midlife crisis, and it\u2019s quite possibly the best time of my life. I am so grateful to be alive, grateful to be a part of my family and my church. For the first time in my life I can say I have no regrets, and actually mean it. I hear that midlife usually lasts around a decade. That\u2019s fine with me. I think I would be okay to live this way for the rest of my life.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s my confession for this Monday. Your turn\u2026<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I confess that I\u2019m in the middle of a midlife crisis, and it\u2019s way better than I could have ever imagined. In fact, I\u2019ve become convinced that the midlife crisis gets a bad rap. The phrase itself conjures images of extramarital affairs, two-door sports cars, and the hair club for men. My story is unfolding […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1118,"featured_media":4048,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1266,639,4,249],"class_list":["post-4045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-midlife","tag-ministry","tag-monday-morning-confessional","tag-pain"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/a>I confess that I\u2019m in the middle of a midlife crisis, and it\u2019s way better than I could have ever imagined. In fact, I\u2019ve become convinced that the midlife crisis gets a bad rap. The phrase itself conjures images of extramarital affairs, two-door sports cars, and the hair club for men. My story is unfolding quite differently.<\/p>\n