{"id":353,"date":"2010-08-19T12:16:00","date_gmt":"2010-08-19T12:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/permissiontolive\/permission-to-live\/"},"modified":"2012-08-07T16:49:48","modified_gmt":"2012-08-07T22:49:48","slug":"permission-to-live","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/permissiontolive\/permission-to-live","title":{"rendered":"Permission to Live"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u00a0<\/p>\n

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\n
The fear was always there.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

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Tears pushing against my eyelids.<\/div>\n
The tightening in my chest when I questioned.<\/div>\n
Always doubting my thoughts. Always ignoring my feelings.<\/div>\n

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<\/div>\n
Questions about life<\/div>\n

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<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Waiting.<\/div>\n
Waiting for someone to tell me what to do.<\/div>\n
Waiting for someone to tell me how to breathe.<\/div>\n
Waiting for permission.<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Permission to live.<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

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<\/div>\n
Because I was,<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cNot old enough to be wise.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cNot smart enough to decide.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cNot \u2018man\u2019 enough to think for myself.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cNot mature enough to make the next step.\u201d \u201cNot Godly enough to know what to do.\u201d Without permission.<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
So I existed.<\/div>\n
Going through the motions that had been decided for me.<\/div>\n
Waiting.<\/div>\n
Doubting myself.<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Until I realized.<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

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<\/div>\n
I am just as able as anyone else.<\/div>\n
I do not have to be afraid. I can<\/em> do what I<\/em> want to do.<\/div>\n
I can make mistakes,<\/div>\n
my own<\/em> mistakes.<\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So each day I take a deep breath,<\/div>\n
and give myself,<\/div>\n
Permission To Live. <\/em><\/div>\n

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<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1145,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-353","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nPermission to Live - Permission to Live<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"  The fear was always there.   Tears pushing against my eyelids. The tightening in my chest when I questioned. 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