{"id":154,"date":"2011-01-05T15:11:00","date_gmt":"2011-01-05T15:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/permissiontolive\/2011\/01\/im-allergic-to-the-bible\/"},"modified":"2011-01-05T15:11:00","modified_gmt":"2011-01-05T15:11:00","slug":"im-allergic-to-the-bible","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/permissiontolive\/2011\/01\/im-allergic-to-the-bible.html","title":{"rendered":"I’m Allergic to the Bible"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

I think I\u2019m allergic to the bible. I\u2019ve had many many people tell me to stop listening to everyone else and just read the bible, and I\u2019ve tried again\u00a0to read it consistently in recent months, but it\u2019s no use. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not like I\u2019d be reading something new anyways. I grew up saturated in the bible. We believed it\u00a0was the literal word of God.\u00a0We listened to it on tape, we read it everyday as a family, I read chapters upon chapters every day by myself. I have large portions of it memorized. I know what it says, I know what it teaches. I\u2019ve read it in several versions.<\/div>\n

But right now the only parts that don\u2019t send me spiraling into depression are a few of the Psalms and parts of the Gospels.<\/p>\n

Take for example the story of Abraham and Isaac and the sacrifice<\/a>. If I EVER had a feeling that god wanted me to make a human sacrifice of one of my children, that would be the last day that I served that god. Instead, Abraham trusts and submits, and so does Isaac (This story is used in many fundamentalist books to justify god\u2019s demand for older children to have blind obedience to parents. After all Isaac was about 20 when this story took place, and apparently he completely trusted his father an let him tie him onto the alter.) After god steps in at the last minute, he reveals that it was all a test to \u201csee if Abraham really loved him\u201d. Yeah, the \u201call-knowing all-loving\u201d god had to do a little test to make sure that Abraham wasn\u2019t getting to attached to his kid. The thought makes me gag. <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve mostly given up on reading it at all. But recently I tried again and got a few child\u2019s versions. My almost 4 year old has been asking about Jesus, and loves to read bible story books and look at the pictures. I got a simple child\u2019s bible that is wildly popular, it has a picture on every page and is directed at ages 2-5. <\/p>\n

The stories were simple to understand, things were going OK. Until I got to the chapter telling of the crucifixion titled \u201cThe sad day\u201d. <\/p>\n

\u201cJesus knew he had to die, it was part of God\u2019s plan.\u201d My chest tightened up. Why would they use those words to describe why Jesus died? \u201cGod\u2019s plan\u201d I remember my Dad explaining and justifying a god that \u201cbeats you over the head with a 2\u00d74 until you get with the program\u201d.<\/em> You are practically helpless without god, he controls everything. Even doing daily tasks demands \u201crelying on the spirit\u201d and everything will be destined to go badly if you dare to step outside of god\u2019s will\/plan.<\/em> I tried to shake the old messages off, maybe it was just hard to sum up the crucifixion in a few sentences? I decided to to give the bible the benefit of the doubt and try again. <\/p>\n

So I got a different bible. This one was supposed to focus heavily on Jesus, written for ages 4 and up. The pictures were beautiful and every story did seem to point towards Jesus. I was excited, maybe this one would be different. We read the nativity story at Christmas time, and it was descriptive and sweet. Remembering the other child\u2019s bible, I decided to look ahead to the crucifixion and see how they explained it.<\/p>\n

My stomach started churning as I read about the garden of Gethsemane. The book describes Jesus sobbing in he garden, begging god to find another way to \u201cget rid of the poison\u201d in people\u2019s hearts. But no, there is no other way other than Jesus having all of the \u201cpoison of sin poured into his own heart\u201d god would have to \u201cblame Jesus for everything that had gone wrong\u201d, every sin ever committed as well as the sickness in peoples bodies. So Jesus becomes submissive and quiet, \u201clike a little lamb\u201d And says \u201cwhatever you say, I will do. I trust you.\u201d<\/p>\n

In the next chapter Jesus goes to his death, and from the cross he screams for his father as tears roll down his face. \u201cAnd nothing happened. god didn\u2019t answer. He turned His face away from His boy.\u201d and on the next page it explains how this was the only way god could vent his fierce anger about sin without destroying the people whose hearts are filled with sin. Instead he destroyed his own son.<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n

I felt physically sick reading it. I felt dark for several days afterwards. Once again, god is portrayed as a petty, twisted, narcissistic, evil god. He can barely contain his human-like rage over people breaking his rules. Nothing but complete surrender and quiet submission will do for this angry controlling god. Hearing this message over and over, from parents, sermons,\u00a0multiple<\/a> songs<\/a>,\u00a0books, and now a children\u2019s bible, makes me seriously doubt my hopes for a loving God<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I already struggle to believe<\/a>, and whenever I read the bible I feel decidedly Atheist. Or at least ready to kill myself rather than try to come to terms with the existence such a sick god.\u00a0When I saw bloggers \u201cresolving\u201d to read more of their bible in 2011, I wanted to scream in the comments \u201cDon\u2019t do it!!! Let it gather dust on your shelf! You won\u2019t have a relationship with God left after you read it!\u201d <\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t read the bible. I cannot imagine trying to teach my children about that god. I can\u2019t believe in that god. <\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think I\u2019m allergic to the bible. I\u2019ve had many many people tell me to stop listening to everyone else and just read the bible, and I\u2019ve tried again\u00a0to read it consistently in recent months, but it\u2019s no use. It\u2019s not like I\u2019d be reading something new anyways. I grew up saturated in the bible. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1145,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-154","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nI'm Allergic to the Bible<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I think I\u2019m allergic to the bible. 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