{"id":174,"date":"2010-11-10T13:32:00","date_gmt":"2010-11-10T13:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/permissiontolive\/2010\/11\/if-you-ask-your-pregnant-wife-for-sex\/"},"modified":"2010-11-10T13:32:00","modified_gmt":"2010-11-10T13:32:00","slug":"if-you-ask-your-pregnant-wife-for-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/permissiontolive\/2010\/11\/if-you-ask-your-pregnant-wife-for-sex.html","title":{"rendered":"If you ask your pregnant wife for sex…."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I\u2019m in a silly mood.
So, in the spirit of \u201cIf you give a mouse a cookie\u201d, I present.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cIf you ask your pregnant wife for sex\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

If you ask your pregnant wife for sex\u2026<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
She\u2019ll probably realize, \n

that she has to pee.<\/p><\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
So she\u2019ll wan to run to the bathroom real quick. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
When she sees herself in the mirror, <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
she\u2019ll probably want to freshen up, <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
so you\u2019ll need to help her find the tweezers so she can pluck her eyebrows. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
When she\u2019s finished plucking her eyebrows, <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
she will start to clean the little hairs off the sink.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Trying to clean up the hair\u00a0will make her realize that the whole sink needs to be cleaned. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So you will have to help her find the right cleaner.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
<\/a><\/div>\n

\u00a0She will wipe down the sink. <\/p><\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
She\u2019ll probably want to scrub the toilet and tub and floors as well. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
She may even ask you to help.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
When the bathroom is cleaned, <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
she will want to wash her hands, <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
and dry them with a towel. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
She will probably notice that the hand towel hasn\u2019t been changed in a while, <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
this will remind her that she hasn\u2019t done laundry in days. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
She will probably start to cry.<\/div>\n
So you will need to hug her and rub her shoulders while she tells you how exhausted she is and how the laundry is never done and that her favorite shirt doesn\u2019t fit her anymore and her hip hasn\u2019t stopped hurting all day.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
When she stops crying, she will probably be hungry. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So you will have to help her dig in the fridge and find\u00a0the perfect\u00a0snack of chocolate milk and grapefruit. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
After she has eaten her grapefruit and finishes her chocolate milk (and a few green olives<\/em>)\u00a0(OK OK, a dozen<\/u> green olives<\/em>) she will feel much better. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So much better, that she will probably ask you<\/em> if you want to have sex. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
You\u2019ll happily head off to the bedroom together. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
But to get to the bedroom you have to pass the bathroom. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
And seeing the bathroom,<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a0will remind her that\u2026<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
she has to pee. <\/div>\n
\u00a0 <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m in a silly mood. So, in the spirit of \u201cIf you give a mouse a cookie\u201d, I present. \u201cIf you ask your pregnant wife for sex\u201d If you ask your pregnant wife for sex\u2026 She\u2019ll probably realize, that she has to pee. So she\u2019ll wan to run to the bathroom real quick. When she […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1145,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nIf you ask your pregnant wife for sex....<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I'm in a silly mood. 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