\u201cWhy is she so upset?\u201d asked my hubby sleepily. \u201cI don\u2019t know! She\u2019s just crazy!\u201d I hissed (still hoping that somehow the baby would sleep through all this) she doesn\u2019t want her water, her diaper is fine, she won\u2019t even let me tuck her in! I was about to spank her, so I knew I needed to leave!\u201d<\/p>\n
My hubby rolled over and gave me a hug \u201cGood for you, I\u2019m glad you held it together honey.\u201d <\/p>\n
I started to cry, \u201cI didn\u2019t!\u201d I wailed into his arms, \u201cI wasn\u2019t gentle enough, and I certainly wasn\u2019t understanding, I\u2019m just so tired!\u201d I wondered if I was even making sense anymore. \u201cI\u2019m a bad mom\u201d I ended.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re not a bad mom\u201d my hubby reassured me, \u201cYou kept yourself from being violent, that is a success.\u201d<\/p>\n
We lay there for a moment, listening to Ms Drama scream and kick the wall.<\/p>\n
Then my hubby said \u201cIs she hungry?\u201d <\/p>\n
And suddenly it all made sense. <\/p>\n
Ms Drama is prone to sugar crashes, especially when she has hit a growth spurt. She\u2019d had that cookie at the store, and then barely touched her dinner. We had been in a hurry at bedtime, so they hadn\u2019t gotten any snack. Snack! That\u2019s what \u201chak\u201d meant! She was hungry and she knew she needed a snack.<\/p>\n
We got up together and Hubby held our sobbing 2 year old while I buttered a slice of bread. Then we sat together on the couch in the dark while she gobbled it up hungrily. After her \u201chak\u201d she gladly snuggled down in her bed with her blanky and her bear without a peep.<\/p>\n
My hubby fell back asleep right away after I thanked him. But it was after\u00a01 AM by the time I fell asleep. Instead, I lay there remembering back when my husband would have been angry to be\u00a0awakened in the middle of the night. After all, he needed his sleep! And it was my job to keep the kids quiet. I remembered the times I had spanked my oldest for waking up in the night and \u201cmanipulating\u201d me into getting up with her. After all, I couldn\u2019t let a child control my life.<\/p>\n
![](\"https:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_q6xr29KDh2g\/TFB69z221LI\/AAAAAAAAAYg\/jnK4GX6DxH4\/s1600\/sunrise.jpg\")
<\/a>I\u00a0started thanking God for the changes he has brought about in our family. The changes in our marriage. I have the love and support of my husband all the time now, even in the middle of the night when all either of us wants to do is sleep. The changes in the way we treat our children. We are learning how to respect them, and be more patient in our parenting. The changes in me, as I wrestle with my own anger and learn to ask myself\u00a0for the first time, what is it\u00a0that I want out of life?<\/em><\/div>\n