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It gets worse.<\/p>\n

Actually, I didn\u2019t\u00a0have a problem with my daughter having a pacifier in the first place! She only got it for bedtime or nap-time, and it helped her sleep. I figured she would stop needing it eventually. But I kept hearing from books and websites that she was too old to have a pacifier. And friends and family asked when I was planning on taking it away. So I questioned my own judgement. Maybe she was<\/em> too old to have a pacifier. Maybe I was letting her be too dependant on it. How was<\/em> I going to take it away!?<\/p>\n

This kind of thing is a common occurrence in my life as a mom. I come up with a method for something that works for me, my family, and my baby, and I\u00a0feel good about my ability to mother. Then someone\u00a0disagrees. It doesn\u2019t matter if it is a innocent question on their part, or terrible story about \u201csomeone else they knew who tried that\u201d. Either way, I constantly doubt my own ability to parent<\/em>.<\/p>\n

When I stopped spanking<\/a> that wasn\u2019t a confident decision either, I had to stop reading anything that suggested that spanking worked because it made me question my decision over and over again. I know that gentle discipline<\/a> is a much better choice for me and my children, but all it takes is a suggestion to the contrary and all my fears of failure come rushing back again. <\/p>\n

Recently I was telling a family member about an incident involving Ms Action\u2019s intense hatred of\u00a0uncomfortable clothing. The family member said something to the effect of \u201cyou can\u2019t cater to her\u201d and instantly I found myself wondering if I was being to lenient when I let Ms Action exchange her shirt for a less \u201cscratchy\u201d one?<\/p>\n

I thought about it for several days. Then it dawned on me. Every parent has different issues that are important to them, and every child is different.<\/em> The family member I was speaking to may not \u201ccater\u201d to her children\u2019s problems with clothing, but she is fine \u201ccatering\u201d to her 3 1\/2 year old that is still not potty trained. Every situation is different, and there is no way anyone else can know all the factors that have gone into a parenting decision. Why was I feeling threatened by someone else\u2019s opinion on child-raising? And how many times have I unintentionally given\u00a0that\u00a0family member\u00a0identical treatment, with all of my suggestions and \u201cencouragement\u201d for potty training? <\/p>\n

I am starting to think that unless someone explicitly asks you how or why you do something, they don\u2019t want to know. Sometimes I can get so excited when I discover something works for me, I assume that it will work for everyone else. I shouldn\u2019t be so sure\u00a0that other people would have the same results as I do if they only did the same as I. And I shouldn\u2019t feel threatened when someone else accidentally or intentionally pressures me to do something. It\u2019s just the way it worked for them!<\/p>\n

So when a nursery lady at church told me to \u201cenjoy a church service for once\u201d, and leave my weepy, clingy 9 month old because she\u00a0needed to\u00a0\u201cget over it\u201d. Instead of questioning myself, or feeling intimidated because I wanted to look like a parent who has everything under control, I remembered that I know my baby best<\/em>. I knew that she had just come home from vacation and was having a rough time with all the new faces she\u2019d seen lately. I know that she doesn\u2019t \u201cget over it\u201d very easily, and I know that I don\u2019t mind having to hear the sermon from the foyer while carrying my baby around. And I was able to respond confidently \u201cIt\u2019s OK, I\u2019m not really a get-over-it kind of Mama.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m so over being insecure about my parenting decisions. At least I think I am\u2026<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"