![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/246\/2013\/02\/1701-1252778335sH8n.jpg\" "\\"1701-1252778335sH8n\\"")
<\/a>It was almost midnight and I was driving home after my usual shift. Yawning, I pushed the radio button hoping to catch a peppy song to keep me awake, but the station that usually plays pop music had one of those call-in counseling shows on.<\/p>\n\u201cHello Brooke, so you are 19 and pregnant?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, unexpectedly so.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
\u201cWow, you\u2019re going to be a mom.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, I\u2019m excited, but nervous, because I don\u2019t have a lot of support ya know?\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
I fumbled with the dial, trying to change the channel before I got sucked in, but it was too late.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you have family?\u201d The host asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, they don\u2019t really want to be a part of my life.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
\u201cOh, that\u2019s sad, why not?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, they think that the only way to be successful is to make lots of money and live in big houses and have rich friends, and I don\u2019t think that way, so they don\u2019t really like me or the people I hang out with.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
\u201cWell, it sounds like they have a point, I mean look at where hanging out with those friends has gotten you, pregnant and alone.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
My jaw dropped. Brooke laughed uncomfortably.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere is the baby\u2019s dad in all of this?\u201d The counselor continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, we aren\u2019t really together right now.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
\u201cSo he got you pregnant and left, this sounds like a sex and run.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUm, it\u2019s not really like that, we\u2019ve been together off and on for 6 years.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
\u201cBut he\u2019s not there now is he.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUm, no.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I pulled into my driveway, ready to go inside and go to bed, but I found myself unable to turn off the car. I wished I could give Brooke a hug, and tell this \u201ccounselor\u201d to shut up. \u201cSex and run\u201d really? How could he claim to have any knowledge about this girl, her relationships, or the reasons she got pregnant?<\/p>\n
But it was about to get even worse.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, Brooke, I hate to sound like your parents, but you have gotten yourself in a real pickle cutting them out of your life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUm, they are the ones who want nothing to do with me.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n
He cut her off with, \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019ve had something to do with it too.\u00a0 It\u2019s time for you to admit you were wrong and grow up, because you are going to be a mom now. I hope you are able to find support somewhere, because your days of fun and games are over, being a mom is serious business.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
I sat in my car fuming. The counselor took another call and I turned off the ignition and stormed into the house. I could hardly believe what I had just heard, this counselor had made assumptions, judgement calls and shamed this poor girl who had just been calling in for encouragement and a listening ear. Sleep was no longer on my radar screen.\u00a0 I got online and looked up the name of the counselor, Dawson McAllister. I found the show\u2019s Facebook page <\/a>and left a comment about how disappointing the show had been. (This was deleted by the next morning, of course.) The page was covered in rave reviews from people who had apparently called in and found his advice helpful. I poked around the website <\/a>some more and even though it was hidden pretty well, I eventually found the links to how to accept Jesus into your heart and how to locate your nearest church. What was this guy doing on a secular radio station? Was it because it was a Sunday night? And if this really was a Christian counseling show (which I had suspected the minute the guy made the assumption that this girl was going to keep this baby) where was the \u201cpro-life\u201d encouragement and accolades for seeing this pregnancy through? Instead Dawson McAllister seemed more worried about shaming her for getting pregnant in the first place.<\/p>\n
It felt slimy to me. As someone who was in ministry alongside my spouse, I found myself wondering if this guy was an actual trained counselor. Without knowing anything about her upbringing or her parents, he seemed invested in the idea that this girl\u2019s parents have her best interest in mind simply because they are well-to-do. We have no idea what this girl\u2019s history with her parents is, or what abuse or situations\u00a0may have\u00a0contributed to\u00a0their separation. How can he know that this boyfriend did a \u201csex and run?\u201d (For that\u00a0matter, what does that even mean?)\u00a0And who knows why they are not together now, certainly not Dawson McAllister who had barely spoken to her for 5 minutes and hadn\u2019t bothered to ask. Why the shaming comments about fun and games being over? Where had he gleaned\u00a0this information about her lifestyle?\u00a0Pregnancy is a biological fact of life, not something that results from \u201cfun and games\u201d. He offered no support, no helpful advice, no listening ear. He didn\u2019t even give her contact information for local pregnancy centers or other support networks.<\/p>\n
I found it disgusting, and frustrating. And since my critique got deleted over at his face book page, I decided to talk about it here. What do you think of this type of scenario? What gives a counselor the right to make assumptions and judgment calls about someone they know nothing about?<\/p>\n
Also, be careful about listening to the radio late Sunday night, you might hear something that will upset you and keep you awake.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It was almost midnight and I was driving home after my usual shift. Yawning, I pushed the radio button hoping to catch a peppy song to keep me awake, but the station that usually plays pop music had one of those call-in counseling shows on. \u201cHello Brooke, so you are 19 and pregnant?\u201d \u201cYes, unexpectedly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1145,"featured_media":723,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,22,17],"tags":[41,54,53,51],"class_list":["post-722","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse","category-conservative-christianity","category-shame","tag-freaky-moments","tag-judgement","tag-spiritual-abuse","tag-things-people-say"],"yoast_head":"\n
Malpractice on the Air<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It was almost midnight and I was driving home after my usual shift. Yawning, I pushed the radio button hoping to catch a peppy song to keep me awake, but\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/permissiontolive\/2013\/02\/malpractice-on-the-air.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Malpractice on the Air\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It was almost midnight and I was driving home after my usual shift. 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