Leaving that elite place<\/a>, where all the answers are contained in one holy book, has been challenging, and enlightening.<\/p>\nShe is seven. She is growing up so fast. Her hair is longer and stronger than the baby fuzz she used to have. She has a gap in her smile, and arms that hang out of her sleeves. She knows how to put together an outfit, complete with layers, accessories, jewelry and hairstyle. She gives me love notes, and reads stories aloud squealing with excitement at each plot turn. She has a penchant for junk collecting, but she is very particular about keeping her room organized and clean.<\/p>\n
She has dreams. Instead of already knowing who she must be and what she must say and do to fit that pre-ordained role, she has dreams and ideas and goals of her own.\u00a0 She asks questions and comes up with possible answers to those questions. She disagrees with me, telling me when she feels I am wrong or when I am not living up to my half of an agreement. It still gives me a little thrill when she does that, she is unafraid to think differently than her parents, she knows she is safe.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I want to slow it all down. Why does she have to get bigger and progressively experience more and more of the stresses and pain and exhaustion that is part of life? Why can\u2019t I keep it all rainbows and sparkles forever?<\/p>\n
But at the same time, as I strive to learn more and more about myself, on how to embrace emotions, how to care for our bodies and souls, how to listen compassionately to others, how to be unashamed of your truth, and yet be unafraid to say \u201cI don\u2019t know\u201d; I continue to become more aware of the fact that childhood is just the beginning, that magic and wonder and happiness continue throughout life if we remember to notice them.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t have to be afraid of my baby reaching \u201cthe age of accountability\u201d where a god will begin keeping a tally of all her mistakes. I don\u2019t have to dread the school age kid, the pre-teen, the teen, and look nostalgically back on the day when she was the infant and toddler that I could keep sheltered and contained.<\/p>\n
I can still be her mom, as her world gets bigger and bigger. I can still be there to listen to her think out loud, notice the new things she tries, tell her how amazing she is. I can still give her hugs, make her brownies, brush her hair or sew up the hole in her favorite pants.<\/p>\n
She may be getting bigger. I may not have all the \u201canswers\u201d anymore. But that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s over.<\/p>\n
This mom thing is just beginning.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
She is seven this month. My heart aches when I think about it. The baby that made me a mother. The first labor, hours of breathing and focusing and stretching until she barreled out of me and peacefully looked into my eyes without even crying. In many ways, I felt so sure of myself then. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1145,"featured_media":910,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,8,11],"tags":[12,62,63],"class_list":["post-909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-discipline","category-life","category-parenting","tag-children","tag-growth-and-change","tag-realizations"],"yoast_head":"\n
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