{"id":96,"date":"2011-06-21T14:37:00","date_gmt":"2011-06-21T14:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/permissiontolive\/2011\/06\/the-fun-mom\/"},"modified":"2011-06-21T14:37:00","modified_gmt":"2011-06-21T14:37:00","slug":"the-fun-mom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/permissiontolive\/2011\/06\/the-fun-mom.html","title":{"rendered":"The Fun Mom"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

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I can cook for 20 people<\/span> without breaking a sweat. I can do 6 loads of laundry in one day. I can bathe 4 children at the same time. I can change a mean diaper. <\/p>\n

I\u2019m good at managing the controlled chaos that is parenting, after all I\u2019ve been doing this sort of thing for most of my life<\/a>. Keeping the physical needs of our household met is pretty basic. Not that our house in immaculate (far from it)<\/a> or I feel 100% confident in my abilities as a housekeeper (still working on that), but keeping the house running doesn\u2019t scare me.<\/p>\n

Babies don\u2019t scare me either. I can nurse a baby, rock them and sing to them, snuggle them and bathe them, and wake up in the middle of the night with them. I know that Baby Boy feels safe and loved, and that\u2019s all that a baby needs.<\/p>\n

My one year old is pretty basic too. She loves snuggling, giggling when I tickle her toes, wants to read the same book 20,000 times, and loves pretending to be different animals. At the end of the day, I am confident that my one year old got snuggled and loved sufficiently.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s a different story<\/span> when it comes to my pre-schoolers. I\u2019m not sure if it\u2019s because I am an introvert, or because I\u2019m hormonal. Maybe it\u2019s because I have so many old lies in my head about my personality, or maybe it\u2019s because I don\u2019t have as much practice with that age as I do with babies. But I doubt myself every minute, and I feel lost trying to relate to them. At the end of the day, I find myself wondering if I hugged my 4 year old that day? Was I overly serious? Are my kids going to remember me as the quiet boring mom who fed them and wiped their bums, but didn\u2019t really engage on any other level?<\/em> I\u2019ve always wanted to be the \u201cfun Mom\u201d, but I don\u2019t think I\u2019m that much fun to be with.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong, my 4 year old is amazingly conversational and imaginative. My 3 year old is cute and\u00a0engaging and determined. But I feel clumsy and stupid when I try to do something with them.<\/p>\n

My 3 year old often climbs up next to me and hands me a stuffed animal. \u201cMake him talk Mom!\u201d She demands. So I will try, I pick up the unicorn and make him say something incredibly boring about his purple mane. And then I get panicky. I can\u2019t think of anything else to say! What does a unicorn talk about anyways?<\/em> So the unicorn will make some sort of excuse and then stop talking.<\/p>\n

If the baby is asleep, I will try to make an appearance in the backyard where the rest of the kids are playing. My 4 year old always gets so excited when I come outside. \u201cDid you come out to play with us Mom?\u201d I nod and sit down on the porch and wonder what to do. The monologue starts in my head. \u201cMan, I can\u2019t think of a single thing to do with them. They are all looking at me! Why am I still so fat and slow, I had the baby 6 weeks ago already? If only I had the energy and drive to play soccer or tag with them. Maybe I should just go in the house and let them play, they are way more imaginative than I am, I am just a damper on their ability to play.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

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I will force myself to dump the blocks out on the floor and play with them, but I find myself looking at the clock again and again. \u201cIt\u2019s only been 3 minutes? How can I be this bored already? Omygod I suck so bad at this! I can\u2019t even manage to play with my kids for an hour straight? What is wrong with me?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I try to remember<\/span> what memories I have of my mom playing with us kids. But honestly, my mom didn\u2019t do all that much with us besides physical care and schoolwork. As a kid I cooked and cleaned on my own and she would check my work. My mom rarely came outside at all. My good day-to-day memories of my mom involve her playing with my hair while we talked in the evenings sometimes. There was the time when I was 6 and I got to stay up late a few nights in a row and read \u201cThe Courage of Sarah Noble\u201d with her. When I was about 12 we did a short bible study together after the other kids went to bed. I have good memories of Christmas and birthdays too. And I remember my mom allowed me to keep my little junk collection<\/a> that meant so much to me. <\/p>\n

I want my kids to know me, but sometimes I hardly feel as though I know myself<\/a>. I want to enjoy being with them, but I don\u2019t know how to just \u201cbe.\u201d I want them to have more than just the special occasion memories. I want them to remember more than just a serious quiet mama who worked behind the scenes to keep things running. My old standby is baking with them. When I am baking I am confident, I don\u2019t second guess myself or feel like I\u2019m faking it. I love baking, and I love doing it with them. I can read with them too, the book is a great prop to hide my insecurities behind. But I would love to branch out, ditch the perfectionism, and add to my repertoire of\u00a0ideas to be authentically present with my kids. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

How do you engage and spend time with your kids? What are your favourite memories of your mom?<\/em><\/div>\n

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I can cook for 20 people without breaking a sweat. I can do 6 loads of laundry in one day. I can bathe 4 children at the same time. I can change a mean diaper. I\u2019m good at managing the controlled chaos that is parenting, after all I\u2019ve been doing this sort of thing for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1145,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-96","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Fun Mom<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I can cook for 20 people without breaking a sweat. I can do 6 loads of laundry in one day. I can bathe 4 children at the same time. 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