{"id":2877,"date":"2013-12-13T23:12:39","date_gmt":"2013-12-14T03:12:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/peterenns\/?p=2877"},"modified":"2013-12-14T00:11:49","modified_gmt":"2013-12-14T04:11:49","slug":"st-nicholas-what-can-i-say-he-was-a-beast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/peterenns\/2013\/12\/st-nicholas-what-can-i-say-he-was-a-beast\/","title":{"rendered":"St. Nicholas: what can I say, he was a beast."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/a>In church today, our rector handed out a card with a icon of St. Nicholas, similar to the one on the left.<\/p>\n

On the back of the card read the following:<\/p>\n

Nicholas was born in the 3rd century in Asia Minor.\u00a0He used his entire inheritance to help the poor, sick, and\u00a0children\u00a0in need. He gave in secret,\u00a0expecting\u00a0nothing in return. He attended the Council of Nicea in AD 325. Greatly loved for his faith, compassion and care, he is venerated in both East and West.<\/em><\/p>\n

OK., that\u2019s pretty cool. He gave away his entire\u00a0inheritance to those in need. I never knew that. I thought he had elves\u00a0helping\u00a0him or something, but I guess I got that part wrong.<\/p>\n

The rest of the card really hit me and made me feel\u00a0stupid\u00a0and cheated for never having been taught this as a child.<\/p>\n

Nicholas saved\u00a0young\u00a0women from slavery, protected sailors, spared innocents from excecution, provided grain in a famine and rescued a kidnaped boy.<\/em><\/p>\n

Nicholas was a beast. Mother Teresa, Oskar Schindler, and Samuel L. Jackson all rolled into one. What an absolute crushing beast.<\/p>\n

I like the icon\u2013his eyes. He is\u00a0looking\u00a0off to\u00a0the\u00a0side, like he\u2019s annoyed about having to sit there for a portrait while people in need were suffering.<\/p>\n

Can you imagine how he would react to what he has become in our contemporary society?<\/p>\n

[Say in Samuel L. Jackson voice,\u00a0preferably\u00a0the diner scene from Pulp Fiction] \u201cLet me get this straight. You want me to fly through the air, slide down your chimney and give you stuff? How about I kick down your door and take all your money and give it people who need it?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

So, to review:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Santa Clause. Not real. An embodiment of our greed.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
St. Nicholas. Real Person. Worth telling your kids about.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"<\/a>
Samuel L. Jackson. No-nonsense tough guy. Like St. Nicholas (sans cursing and handgun)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

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OK, I\u2019m exaggerating and \u201ctotally\u00a0misunderstanding\u00a0Samuel L. Jackson\u201d (to anticipate some humorless comments). But, my point still stands. For \u201cJolly Old St. Nick\u201d to have pulled off things like standing between a slave owner and his property, or an\u00a0executioner\u00a0and his victim, or go about unkidnaping a boy, he was probably a very brave man indeed with better things on\u00a0his\u00a0mind than making sure nice children get an X-Box or an iPad 3.<\/p>\n

Yes, I know, he also beat up people he had theological disagreements with, which makes him a bit too much like\u00a0Samuel L. Jackson\u2013and perhaps the first of the neo-reformed\u2013but I\u2019m willing to roll with that for the time being, seeing that\u2019s Christmas and all.<\/p>\n

I feel better now. Thanks for listening.<\/p>\n

[This post first appeared a year ago at this time.]<\/p>\n

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\n<\/p><\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In church today, our rector handed out a card with a icon of St. Nicholas, similar to the one on the left. On the back of the card read the following: Nicholas was born in the 3rd century in Asia Minor.\u00a0He used his entire inheritance to help the poor, sick, and\u00a0children\u00a0in need. He gave in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":64,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[249,248,247],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2877","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1st-advent","category-samuel-l-jackson","category-st-nicholas"],"yoast_head":"\nSt. Nicholas: what can I say, he was a beast.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In church today, our rector handed out a card with a icon of St. Nicholas, similar to the one on the left. 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