{"id":581,"date":"2011-07-08T17:53:41","date_gmt":"2011-07-08T21:53:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/community\/philosophicalfragments\/?p=581"},"modified":"2011-07-08T17:53:41","modified_gmt":"2011-07-08T21:53:41","slug":"is-the-institution-of-marriage-really-crumblin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/philosophicalfragments\/2011\/07\/08\/is-the-institution-of-marriage-really-crumblin\/","title":{"rendered":"Is the Institution of Marriage Really Crumbling?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I recently wrote a piece entitled \u201cThree Red Herrings in the Gay Marriage Debate<\/a>.\u201d \u00a0A colleague of mine named Star, the managing editor of Patheos\u2019 Pagan Portal, responded in \u201cLife, Liberty, and the Institution of Marriage?<\/a>\u201d \u00a0I am a fan of Star\u2019s. \u00a0She\u2019s a true believer. \u00a0She\u2019s not a pagan because she finds it fashionable, or because she thinks the pagan gods \u201crepresent virtues worth emulating\u201d (but do not really<\/em> exist). \u00a0She not only believes that the gods of various ancient pagan traditions really exist; she believes they are active in her life, and deserve her worship. \u00a0She would even say that she has a close (personal) relationship with gods like Hephaestus and Baba Yaga.<\/p>\n

Star is about the most winsome representative of contemporary American paganism I can imagine, and a friend, and I won\u2019t tolerate ad hominem<\/em> arguments against her. \u00a0She is also an amiable soul and slow to anger, so the frustrated tone of her post says something. \u00a0There are a good number of Americans who find \u201cthe institution of marriage\u201d truly repressive. \u00a0That\u2019s worth listening to. \u00a0Here\u2019s a part of her post:<\/p>\n

Just what the hell is the\u00a0Institution of Marriage<\/em>, anyway?<\/p>\n

I mean,\u00a0seriously<\/em>? What is it?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve heard that phrase for years and I still have no idea what it means, considering marriage is a constantly evolving concept. It sounds pretty darn important, especially since Tim says it\u2019s the foundation of all society. I recall from my\u00a0Christian upbringing<\/strong><\/a> that marriage, defined as 1 man+1 woman+chillen\u2019, is considered the smallest and most basic form of government by some conservative Christians. It is upon such marriages all other forms of government stand. These marriages, ruled by the father and served by the mother and children, were considered the atoms that make up our body politic. As above, so below.<\/p>\n

Rather terrifying, huh? This is what conservative Christians mean when they talk about defending the institution of marriage. They believe the government should protect their definition of marriage because they perceive that definition as an extension of the government and vice versa.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There are a couple things here worth considering. \u00a0The basic question, \u201cWhat is<\/em> the institution of marriage?\u201d, is entirely fair. \u00a0There\u2019s a fair amount in Star\u2019s recitation of history that is not historical, but we\u2019re not going to solve that problem right now. \u00a0The basic points \u2014 and they\u2019re worth taking seriously \u2014 are these: (1) the concept of marriage is constantly evolving, and (2) marriage, especially when narrowly construed, has been a tool of oppression against women, minorities, and the like. \u00a0In other words, there may be no such thing as an \u201cinstitution\u201d of marriage, since definitions of marriage are fluid \u2014 but the attempt to turn marriage into an institution is confining, arrogant (Who are we to say that our marriage is really<\/em> marriage and your marriage is not?), and creates the conditions for abuse and hardship.<\/p>\n

Star tells us what she does affirm:<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t support the\u00a0Institution of Marriage<\/em> with it\u2019s crumbling and cracked foundations. I do support the\u00a0Evolution of Marriage<\/em> as a vibrant, honest way to build community and honor the oaths humans make to each other: male to female, male to male, female to female, for all time, as long as love lasts, in polygyny, in polyandry, in polyamory, in young adulthood, in old age, between every race, exclusive, open and in glorious diversity.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Christians and non-Christians who believe in the institution of marriage need to pay attention. \u00a0Some of my liberal friends call it hyperbole when Christians say that the next thing after same-sex marriage will be polygamy and even incest. \u00a0And Christians are sometimes very clumsy in the way they frame this. \u00a0They do not mean to\u00a0liken<\/em> or equate <\/em>same-sex relationships with polygamy or incest; they\u2019re arguing that the legal justification proffered for same-sex marriage would also serve to justify, or at least lead in the direction of, polygamous and incestuous marriages. \u00a0As I\u2019ve said before, slippery-slope arguments often sound silly or alarmist, but I think a good case can be made to support one in this instance.<\/p>\n

Same-sex marriage proponents don\u2019t want to talk about these things, because they\u2019re (justly) concerned it will scare Americans away from allowing any change in our marriage laws. \u00a0But there are, waiting in the wings after the same-sex marriage movement, people who will challenge the laws limiting marriage to only two individuals. \u00a0Pagans (and others) are already arguing that their religion affirms multiple-marriage (as many forms of paganism do), and it\u2019s an infringement of their religious rights that they are permitted to marry only one person. \u00a0Others stand against \u201cdiscrimination on the basis of ancestry<\/a>\u201d (i.e., they favor the permission of relatives to marry.) \u00a0If marriage can be redefined internationally as \u201cThe uniting of consenting individuals in a witnessed ceremony,\u201d then \u201claws against polygamy and consanguineous intimacy\u201d will be \u201crepealed, overruled, or superseded,\u201d and people of any orientation, any number, or any birth relation, can marry.<\/p>\n

Unless we can provide a clear sense of what we mean by the institution of marriage and why we believe it\u2019s worth defending, we are going to lose this argument. \u00a0We need to do better. \u00a0We need to hear why people are so frustrated with what we have made of marriage; we need to hear why we\u2019re viewed as hypocrites for preventing others to marry when we\u2019re failing in our own marriages; and we need to explain clearly and persuasively why marriage should still be considered one man and one woman. \u00a0I will post an article on Monday entitled \u201cWhy We Marry.\u201d \u00a0Then I will address, \u201cIs the Institution of Marriage Worth Defending?\u201d<\/p>\n

Subscribe or connect (see the right sidebar) to follow along.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently wrote a piece entitled \u201cThree Red Herrings in the Gay Marriage Debate.\u201d \u00a0A colleague of mine named Star, the managing editor of Patheos\u2019 Pagan Portal, responded in \u201cLife, Liberty, and the Institution of Marriage?\u201d \u00a0I am a fan of Star\u2019s. \u00a0She\u2019s a true believer. \u00a0She\u2019s not a pagan because she finds it fashionable, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[123,125,176,1353,1356,1333,270,316,317,356],"class_list":["post-581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-christian","tag-christianity","tag-evangelical","tag-evangelicalism","tag-gay-marriage","tag-marriage","tag-marriage-equality","tag-pagan","tag-paganism","tag-same-sex-marriage"],"yoast_head":"\nIs the Institution of Marriage Really Crumbling? 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