{"id":682,"date":"2011-07-26T16:05:11","date_gmt":"2011-07-26T20:05:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/community\/philosophicalfragments\/?p=682"},"modified":"2011-07-26T16:05:11","modified_gmt":"2011-07-26T20:05:11","slug":"renaming-the-crusades-as-cru","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/philosophicalfragments\/2011\/07\/26\/renaming-the-crusades-as-cru\/","title":{"rendered":"Guest Post: Louis IX, Richard the Lionheart Welcome Renaming the Crusades as "Cru""},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

And now for something completely different.<\/p>\n

Let it be noted that we\u2019ve published pieces (for example this interview<\/a> with Rodney Stark) correcting misperceptions about the Crusades. \u00a0Nonetheless, the following guest post was sent to me by Hillary the Adequate (no, it\u2019s not me), and he is entitled to his perspective.<\/p>\n

Louis, Richard the Lionheart Welcome Renaming the Crusades as \u201cCru\u201d<\/h3>\n

(Paris, France) King Louis IX, celebrated throughout the western world for his murderous onslaughts in the Holy Land, has decreed that the campaign to wipe Islam from the map and restore Christianity to Jerusalem will no longer be called a \u201cCrusade.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDespite serving us well, the term \u2018Crusade\u2019 has unfortunately taken on a bad connotation,\u201d the French monarch stated from his throne room at the Palais du Louvre. \u201cFor whatever reason, some find it offensive, even.\u201d<\/p>\n

The next time the King leads an army of Christians to the Levant to plunder Mohammedan holy sites, disembowel imams and impose the faith at the edge of a sword, it will be called a \u201cMissions Festival\u201d or just plain \u201cCru\u201d.<\/p>\n\"\"\n

\u201cSurely these Saracens dogs will see our actions in a much more favorable light when we change the name of our forays into the Holy Land to \u2018Cru,'\u201d said Richard the Lionheart, enjoying the \u201cThird Cru\u201d as he set fire to the grand mosque of Acra.<\/p>\n

Evidently the new\u00a0public relations\u00a0approach is working.\u00a0 \u201cWhen the various parts of the Caliphate hear that Pope Urban has offered plenary indulgences to any Roman Catholic who dies during a \u2018Crusade,\u2019 we tremble, knowing full well what that means: an army of bloodthirsty Europeans\u00a0 bent on our destruction are about to besiege us,\u201d said Zeydoun Islamabad, a Jerusalem-area goat farmer.\u00a0 \u201cBut now, when the pope whimsically summons his \u2018crew\u2019 to embark on a \u2018Cru\u2019, we all smile and think, \u2018What\u2019s the worst that could happen?\u2019 \u00a0I mean, we laugh at the Second Crusade that Louis VII and Bernard of Clairvaux tried to pull off \u2014 we call it 2 Live Cru now \u2014 and we expect all future Christian excursions into the Holy Land to have a similar comical quality to them.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mr. Islamabad was subsequently set upon by \u201cCru-ers\u201d\u00a0 who broke him on the wheel, and flung him into a noisome dungeon where he awaits his execution at the stake.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And now for something completely different. Let it be noted that we\u2019ve published pieces (for example this interview with Rodney Stark) correcting misperceptions about the Crusades. \u00a0Nonetheless, the following guest post was sent to me by Hillary the Adequate (no, it\u2019s not me), and he is entitled to his perspective. Louis, Richard the Lionheart Welcome […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-682","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nGuest Post: Louis IX, Richard the Lionheart Welcome Renaming the Crusades as "Cru" - Philosophical Fragments<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"And now for something completely different. Let it be noted that we've published pieces (for example this interview with Rodney Stark) correcting\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/philosophicalfragments\/2011\/07\/26\/renaming-the-crusades-as-cru\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Guest Post: Louis IX, Richard the Lionheart Welcome Renaming the Crusades as "Cru" - Philosophical Fragments\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"And now for something completely different. 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