{"id":1493,"date":"2012-07-09T09:40:11","date_gmt":"2012-07-09T13:40:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/phoenixandolivebranch.wordpress.com\/?p=1493"},"modified":"2014-07-03T11:26:09","modified_gmt":"2014-07-03T15:26:09","slug":"sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/","title":{"rendered":"Sexuality Project: Romantic Relationships, Q. 5"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><em>This is an installment of the\u00a0<a title=\"Sexuality\u00a0Project\" href=\"http:\/\/phoenixandolivebranch.wordpress.com\/blog-series\/sexuality-project-page\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project<\/a>. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0<a title=\"Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project: The\u00a0Questions!\" href=\"http:\/\/phoenixandolivebranch.wordpress.com\/2012\/06\/02\/religious-fundamentalism-and-sexuality-project-questions\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">here<\/a>\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0<a title=\"Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality: The\u00a0Plan\" href=\"http:\/\/phoenixandolivebranch.wordpress.com\/2012\/06\/25\/religious-fundamentalism-and-sexuality-project-plan\/\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">here<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em><em>The first six participants whose stories I\u2019ll be posting are Melissa and Haley, Lina and V, Latebloomer and Katy-Anne.<\/em><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align:center\">Romantic Relationships<\/h2>\n<blockquote><p><em>5. Do you still hold any of the beliefs about relationships that you were taught in fundamentalism? If yes, which ones?<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration:underline\">Note<\/span>: No, you\u2019re not going crazy! We\u2019re skipping question 4 on this round, as it pertains to people who have never been in relationships. All of the participants in this group are married, so obviously it doesn\u2019t apply!<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<h2>Melissa and Haley<\/h2>\n<h3><a href=\"http:\/\/ayoungmomsmusings.blogspot.com\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">Melissa<\/a>:<\/h3>\n<p>No.<\/p>\n<h3>Haley:<\/h3>\n<p>No way. Humans are sexual, each person knows the sexual expression that is right for them. I want this world to be a place that embraces all forms of sexuality that does not violate consent of the parties involved and protects the young who cannot consent.<\/p>\n<h2>Lina and V<\/h2>\n<h3><a href=\"http:\/\/findingsnooze.blogspot.com\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">Lina<\/a>:<\/h3>\n<p>I honestly can\u2019t say. It\u2019s hard to separate those beliefs from the common-sense types of beliefs. I believe two people can love each other and build a bond for life, yes; I don\u2019t know that that belief directly traces back to fundamentalism. Pretty much any gender-related belief I\u2019ve totally thrown out, for understandable reasons.<\/p>\n<h3>V:<\/h3>\n<p>The only way for me to answer this is to say that I hold none of the same beliefs about relationships that I was taught in fundamentalism.\u00a0 I am so far removed from that lifestyle, and I reject it.\u00a0 To say that I hold some of the same beliefs would be a disservice to my wife and myself.\u00a0 I feel stronger for having come out of fundamentalism, why would I want to bring it back to my relationship?\u00a0 It\u2019s not say that some qualities of our relationship are not present in those in relationships who are fundamentalists.\u00a0 I believe that every good relationship will have similar qualities; however, I prefer not to take myself back to that time in my life.<\/p>\n<h2><a href=\"http:\/\/www.pasttensepresentprogressive.blogspot.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">Latebloomer<\/a>:<\/h2>\n<p>I still believe that people should avoid playing games with each other or simply using each other for self-gratification; that is certainly not just a fundamentalist value, however.<\/p>\n<h2><a href=\"http:\/\/americannaussie.katyannewilson.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">Katy-Anne<\/a>:<\/h2>\n<p>I really don\u2019t think I have held on to any of my beliefs about relationships from fundamentalism. When I left fundamentalism, a lot of fundamentalist beliefs just didn\u2019t make sense anymore in the real world outside of the cult. My motto became \u201cquestion everything\u201d and I did question everything. It was good for me because it was really the first time I had questioned everything, and so it was the first time I actually developed beliefs that were mine.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The first six participants whose stories I\u2019ll be posting are Melissa and Haley, Lina and V, Latebloomer and Katy-Anne. Romantic Relationships 5. Do you still hold any of the beliefs about relationships that you were [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1147,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,17,25],"tags":[129,136,208,225,261,354,361,376,956,957,398,960,511,512,513,517,581],"class_list":["post-1493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love","category-marriage","category-sexuality-project","tag-christian-culture","tag-christian-patriarchy","tag-egalitarian-marriage","tag-ex-fundamentalists","tag-fundamentalist-christianity","tag-katy-anne","tag-latebloomer","tag-lina-and-v","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-melissa-and-haley","tag-patriarchy","tag-relationships","tag-relationships-and-marriage","tag-religion","tag-religious-fundamentalism","tag-stories"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Sexuality Project: Romantic Relationships, Q. 5<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sexuality Project: Romantic Relationships, Q. 5\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Phoenix and Olive Branch\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-07-09T13:40:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-07-03T15:26:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Sierra Phoenix\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Sierra Phoenix\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/\",\"name\":\"Sexuality Project: Romantic Relationships, Q. 5\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-07-09T13:40:11+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-07-03T15:26:09+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/952aea07ba64f7d129b731e325baaf98\"},\"description\":\"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Sexuality Project: Romantic Relationships, Q. 5\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/\",\"name\":\"The Phoenix and Olive Branch\",\"description\":\"A survivor blog from a daughter of the Christian Patriarchy movement.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/952aea07ba64f7d129b731e325baaf98\",\"name\":\"Sierra Phoenix\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d48231f844de0223ae741959456eebc3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d48231f844de0223ae741959456eebc3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Sierra Phoenix\"},\"description\":\"I grew up a fundamentalist. Twelve years spent in fear, waiting for the world to end. I lived so close to death that I could feel it brushing against my fingertips. Always around the corner was the Rapture, the Tribulation, the falling bombs, the assaults of the devil. I tried to root the evil out of myself, first by starving, then by systematically divesting myself of the things that I loved. All my efforts seemed hopeless. God didn\u2019t want me \u2013 or so I thought. It turns out that the root of the evil wasn\u2019t inside me at all. It was in the mental virus that plagued my church and those around it. My homeschool community. My world was full of it.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/author\/sierrat\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Sexuality Project: Romantic Relationships, Q. 5","description":"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Sexuality Project: Romantic Relationships, Q. 5","og_description":"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/","og_site_name":"The Phoenix and Olive Branch","article_published_time":"2012-07-09T13:40:11+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-07-03T15:26:09+00:00","author":"Sierra Phoenix","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Sierra Phoenix","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/","name":"Sexuality Project: Romantic Relationships, Q. 5","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-07-09T13:40:11+00:00","dateModified":"2014-07-03T15:26:09+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/952aea07ba64f7d129b731e325baaf98"},"description":"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-romantic-relationships-q-5\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Sexuality Project: Romantic Relationships, Q. 5"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/","name":"The Phoenix and Olive Branch","description":"A survivor blog from a daughter of the Christian Patriarchy movement.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/952aea07ba64f7d129b731e325baaf98","name":"Sierra Phoenix","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d48231f844de0223ae741959456eebc3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d48231f844de0223ae741959456eebc3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Sierra Phoenix"},"description":"I grew up a fundamentalist. Twelve years spent in fear, waiting for the world to end. I lived so close to death that I could feel it brushing against my fingertips. Always around the corner was the Rapture, the Tribulation, the falling bombs, the assaults of the devil. I tried to root the evil out of myself, first by starving, then by systematically divesting myself of the things that I loved. All my efforts seemed hopeless. God didn\u2019t want me \u2013 or so I thought. It turns out that the root of the evil wasn\u2019t inside me at all. It was in the mental virus that plagued my church and those around it. My homeschool community. My world was full of it.","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/author\/sierrat\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1493","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1147"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1493"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1493\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1493"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1493"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1493"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}