{"id":1585,"date":"2012-07-21T11:17:21","date_gmt":"2012-07-21T15:17:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/phoenixandolivebranch.wordpress.com\/?p=1585"},"modified":"2014-07-03T11:25:32","modified_gmt":"2014-07-03T15:25:32","slug":"sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Sexuality Project: Life Outside the Bubble, Q. 3"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project<\/a>. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here<\/a>\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here<\/a>.\u00a0<\/em>The first six participants whose stories I\u2019ll be posting are Melissa and Haley, Lina and V, Latebloomer and Katy-Anne.<\/em><\/p>\n

Life Outside the Bubble<\/h2>\n

3. Where have you found support? (New friends online, at school, at work, etc.?)<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

Melissa and Haley<\/h2>\n

Melissa<\/a>:<\/h3>\n

I have an amazing wife who is supportive and loving. I have had friends online as well as friendships that began online and became real life later. We are slowly putting together a new community, with an accepting church we attend on occasion and the LGBTQ community in our area as well as other friends and neighbours.<\/p>\n

Haley:<\/h3>\n

I found new friends online (some of whom have become friends in real life), going to school after losing my job as a minister has introduced me to new friends, and participating in the LGBT community in my city has helped.<\/p>\n

Lina and V<\/h2>\n

Lina<\/a>:<\/h3>\n

Many of the same English majors at school have ended up in the same place as my wife and I when it comes to religion and sexuality, and they\u2019ve been a great support group. We haven\u2019t made many new friends; however, I\u2019m a nanny for one family and a babysitter for many, so there are roughly six couples older than we are who love us and our relationship, and can\u2019t believe anyone would think otherwise. They\u2019ve heard many a complaint about family.<\/p>\n

V:<\/h3>\n

[What Lina said!]<\/p>\n

Latebloomer<\/a>:<\/h2>\n

Since leaving my hometown, I have had to start over socially twice.\u00a0 The first time was when I started attending an out-of-state Christian college at age 23.\u00a0 My experience there was a valuable first step in leaving the culture I was raised in, without being too shocked by mainstream secular culture.\u00a0 I had a few close friends who were fairly understanding of my strange background and who made an effort to help me fit into college culture.\u00a0 After college, I relocated to my current city and started over again socially.\u00a0 This time, my social circle is more diverse and contains fewer Christians.\u00a0 \u00a0I find the less-judgemental attitudes and the supportiveness very refreshing.<\/p>\n

However, in my post-college years, my husband has honestly been my biggest supporter.\u00a0 His careful listening and insight have been incredibly helpful as I sorted through memories and baggage from my past.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t be as happy and healthy as I am today if not for him!<\/p>\n

Recently, I\u2019ve also been finding a lot of encouragement from reading the blogs of others who grew up in and ultimately left the Christian Patriarchy movement.\u00a0 Someone in another online forum referred me to No Longer Quivering<\/a>, which is how I found blogs like Sierra\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Katy-Anne<\/a>:<\/h2>\n

I have a support network of friends, as well as my entire church. My church is a place where it is safe to ask questions, it\u2019s safe to not be entirely sure of what you believe, it\u2019s safe to be a seeker, it\u2019s safe to be yourself and it\u2019s even safe and ok to disagree with the pastor. I also find some new online friends to be supportive and honestly I feel supported and validated just by reading blogs like this one without even really knowing you.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The first six participants whose stories I\u2019ll be posting are Melissa and Haley, Lina and V, Latebloomer and Katy-Anne. Life Outside the Bubble 3. Where have you found support? (New friends online, at school, at […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1147,"featured_media":1704,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,15,16,17,25],"tags":[129,225,950,261,354,361,362,376,398,511,513,965],"class_list":["post-1585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-families","category-lgbtq-issues","category-love","category-marriage","category-sexuality-project","tag-christian-culture","tag-ex-fundamentalists","tag-families","tag-fundamentalist-christianity","tag-katy-anne","tag-latebloomer","tag-leaving","tag-lina-and-v","tag-melissa-and-haley","tag-relationships","tag-religion","tag-sexuality-project"],"yoast_head":"\nSexuality Project: Life Outside the Bubble, Q. 3<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sexuality Project: Life Outside the Bubble, Q. 3\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Phoenix and Olive Branch\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-07-21T15:17:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-07-03T15:25:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/247\/2012\/07\/imgres1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"256\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"197\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Sierra Phoenix\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Sierra Phoenix\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/\",\"name\":\"Sexuality Project: Life Outside the Bubble, Q. 3\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-07-21T15:17:21+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-07-03T15:25:32+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/952aea07ba64f7d129b731e325baaf98\"},\"description\":\"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Sexuality Project: Life Outside the Bubble, Q. 3\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/\",\"name\":\"The Phoenix and Olive Branch\",\"description\":\"A survivor blog from a daughter of the Christian Patriarchy movement.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/952aea07ba64f7d129b731e325baaf98\",\"name\":\"Sierra Phoenix\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d48231f844de0223ae741959456eebc3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d48231f844de0223ae741959456eebc3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Sierra Phoenix\"},\"description\":\"I grew up a fundamentalist. Twelve years spent in fear, waiting for the world to end. I lived so close to death that I could feel it brushing against my fingertips. Always around the corner was the Rapture, the Tribulation, the falling bombs, the assaults of the devil. I tried to root the evil out of myself, first by starving, then by systematically divesting myself of the things that I loved. All my efforts seemed hopeless. God didn\u2019t want me \u2013 or so I thought. It turns out that the root of the evil wasn\u2019t inside me at all. It was in the mental virus that plagued my church and those around it. My homeschool community. My world was full of it.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/author\/sierrat\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Sexuality Project: Life Outside the Bubble, Q. 3","description":"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Sexuality Project: Life Outside the Bubble, Q. 3","og_description":"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/","og_site_name":"The Phoenix and Olive Branch","article_published_time":"2012-07-21T15:17:21+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-07-03T15:25:32+00:00","og_image":[{"width":"256","height":"197","url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/247\/2012\/07\/imgres1.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Sierra Phoenix","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Sierra Phoenix","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/","name":"Sexuality Project: Life Outside the Bubble, Q. 3","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-07-21T15:17:21+00:00","dateModified":"2014-07-03T15:25:32+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/952aea07ba64f7d129b731e325baaf98"},"description":"This is an installment of the\u00a0Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project. You can read the full list of questions\u00a0here\u00a0and the posting plan\u00a0here.\u00a0The","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/2012\/07\/sexuality-project-life-outside-the-bubble-q-3\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Sexuality Project: Life Outside the Bubble, Q. 3"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/","name":"The Phoenix and Olive Branch","description":"A survivor blog from a daughter of the Christian Patriarchy movement.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/952aea07ba64f7d129b731e325baaf98","name":"Sierra Phoenix","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d48231f844de0223ae741959456eebc3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d48231f844de0223ae741959456eebc3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Sierra Phoenix"},"description":"I grew up a fundamentalist. Twelve years spent in fear, waiting for the world to end. I lived so close to death that I could feel it brushing against my fingertips. Always around the corner was the Rapture, the Tribulation, the falling bombs, the assaults of the devil. I tried to root the evil out of myself, first by starving, then by systematically divesting myself of the things that I loved. All my efforts seemed hopeless. God didn\u2019t want me \u2013 or so I thought. It turns out that the root of the evil wasn\u2019t inside me at all. It was in the mental virus that plagued my church and those around it. My homeschool community. My world was full of it.","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/author\/sierrat\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1585","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1147"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1585"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1585\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1704"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1585"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1585"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/phoenixandolivebranch\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1585"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}