Talking About Sex as a Progressive Youth Minister<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The first question of an interview for a youth ministry job is not typically about sex, so when it was I floundered. We were in the church conference room\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Talking About Sex as a Progressive Youth Minister\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The first question of an interview for a youth ministry job is not typically about sex, so when it was I floundered. We were in the church conference room\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Progressive Youth Ministry\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-05-25T12:06:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/655\/2016\/05\/lets-talk-about-sex.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"410\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"242\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Rocky Supinger\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Rocky Supinger\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/\",\"name\":\"Talking About Sex as a Progressive Youth Minister\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-05-25T12:06:04+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-05-25T12:06:04+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/#\/schema\/person\/a64aeec8434ed3664f3d82a50d427517\"},\"description\":\"The first question of an interview for a youth ministry job is not typically about sex, so when it was I floundered. We were in the church conference room\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Talking About Sex as a Progressive Youth Minister\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/\",\"name\":\"Progressive Youth Ministry\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/#\/schema\/person\/a64aeec8434ed3664f3d82a50d427517\",\"name\":\"Rocky Supinger\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d2122da312364970da1533c8e12f4dd8?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d2122da312364970da1533c8e12f4dd8?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Rocky Supinger\"},\"description\":\"Rocky Supinger is the Associate Pastor for Youth Ministry at Fourth Presbyterian Church in Chicago. He has served churches in California and Missouri, and blogs at yorocko.com.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/author\/rsupinger\/\"}]}<\/script>\n","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Talking About Sex as a Progressive Youth Minister","description":"The first question of an interview for a youth ministry job is not typically about sex, so when it was I floundered. We were in the church conference room","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Talking About Sex as a Progressive Youth Minister","og_description":"The first question of an interview for a youth ministry job is not typically about sex, so when it was I floundered. We were in the church conference room","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/","og_site_name":"Progressive Youth Ministry","article_published_time":"2016-05-25T12:06:04+00:00","og_image":[{"width":410,"height":242,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/655\/2016\/05\/lets-talk-about-sex.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Rocky Supinger","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Rocky Supinger","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/","name":"Talking About Sex as a Progressive Youth Minister","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/#website"},"datePublished":"2016-05-25T12:06:04+00:00","dateModified":"2016-05-25T12:06:04+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/#\/schema\/person\/a64aeec8434ed3664f3d82a50d427517"},"description":"The first question of an interview for a youth ministry job is not typically about sex, so when it was I floundered. We were in the church conference room","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Talking About Sex as a Progressive Youth Minister"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/","name":"Progressive Youth Ministry","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/#\/schema\/person\/a64aeec8434ed3664f3d82a50d427517","name":"Rocky Supinger","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d2122da312364970da1533c8e12f4dd8?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d2122da312364970da1533c8e12f4dd8?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","caption":"Rocky Supinger"},"description":"Rocky Supinger is the Associate Pastor for Youth Ministry at Fourth Presbyterian Church in Chicago. He has served churches in California and Missouri, and blogs at yorocko.com.","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/author\/rsupinger\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2745"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=375"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/375\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/376"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

{"id":375,"date":"2016-05-25T08:06:04","date_gmt":"2016-05-25T12:06:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/?p=375"},"modified":"2016-05-25T08:06:04","modified_gmt":"2016-05-25T12:06:04","slug":"talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/progressiveyouthministry\/2016\/05\/talking-about-sex-as-a-progressive-youth-minister\/","title":{"rendered":"Talking About Sex as a Progressive Youth Minister"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

$\"let's$ <\/a>The first question of an interview for a youth ministry job is not typically about sex, so when it was I floundered. We were in the church conference room on a sunny Saturday morning sipping water from plastic cups when the pastor decided to get the interview underway by asking me how I teach sex and dating to teenagers. <\/span><\/p>\n

Pass?<\/span><\/p>\n

The truthful answer was not much. I\u2019d done full time youth ministry in a church for over eight years, and I could count on one hand the initiatives I had planned to address that subject with my students. The ones I had planned did not go well. One parent told me that her son reported after an overnight retreat about dating and relationship that he\u2019d learned premarital sex is okay as long as it\u2019s fun. <\/span><\/p>\n

Burned, I started avoiding the topic altogether. Related subjects like sexual orientation and LGBT inclusion were easy enough to deal with in my liberal church, but I didn\u2019t go near discussions of actual sexual behavior and whether they\u2019re okay or not, what the Bible says about sex, or what teens\u2019 parents tell them or expect of them.<\/span><\/p>\n

After years of avoidance, a parent called me on the carpet, demanding to know why I wasn\u2019t addressing sexuality with his 11th grade son, whom I\u2019d known since he was a sixth grader. I lied and said it was part of the plan for the coming year, which, of course, it was after that meeting. <\/span><\/p>\n

I know that I don\u2019t want to teach teenagers that God condemns all sex outside of marriage and that I don\u2019t want to uphold \u201cpurity\u201d as a sexual virtue, both because it\u2019s <\/span>ineffective<\/a>\u00a0<\/span>and because\u00a0<\/span>it makes a crude idol of female virginity<\/span><\/a>. That\u2019s a lot of what I was taught as a teenager, and I can see clearly now how little it helped me. I don\u2019t want to tell students God doesn\u2019t care about what they do with their bodies, though, and I don\u2019t want to abandon them to exploitative cultural norms for sex. <\/span><\/p>\n

If talking to church youth about\u00a0sex only needed a monologue of things I don\u2019t agree with on the subject, this would be a much easier conversation. But what <\/span>do <\/span><\/i>I want them to hear from me? What is the positive ethic I want my church presenting to teens about sexual relationships? How do I hope to shape their attitudes and decisions?<\/span><\/p>\n

I have work to do here. I\u2019m starting with \u201c<\/span>Our Whole Lives<\/span><\/a>,\u201d the UCC\/UUA curriculum that\u2019s been around a long while and that always seem to pop up first in these conversations. I want to really learn it and become an expert in teaching it, because, among other virtues, the <\/span>\u201cValues and Assumptions\u201d<\/span><\/a> behind it are nuanced yet concrete. \u201c<\/span>All persons have the right and obligation to make responsible sexual choices.\u201d But also, \u201cIt is healthier for young adolescents to postpone sexual intercourse.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cProgressive\u201d need not mean passive or vague when it comes to the sex talk in liberal churches. There are good tools out there for offering loving, informed, and confident guidance to teenagers of all orientations on this subject, and it\u2019s time for me to start using them.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"