{"id":105,"date":"2011-08-03T05:00:12","date_gmt":"2011-08-03T09:00:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/eatwithjoy.wordpress.com\/?p=105"},"modified":"2011-08-03T05:00:12","modified_gmt":"2011-08-03T09:00:12","slug":"my-audrey-hepburn-problem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rachelmariestone\/2011\/08\/03\/my-audrey-hepburn-problem\/","title":{"rendered":"My Audrey Hepburn Problem"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p>From about age 15 or so, Audrey Hepburn was my idol. I worshiped the iconic film star, watching her movies again and again, poring over books about her life, and searching for images of her online.<a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/484\/2011\/08\/audrey-hepburn-348.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-107\" title=\"Audrey-Hepburn-348\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/484\/2011\/08\/audrey-hepburn-348.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"227\" height=\"300\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I could have done worse. Hepburn was, by most accounts, an extraordinarily lovely person, both inside and out. In <em>Roman Holiday\u2013<\/em>my favorite Audrey movie\u2013she\u2019s lovely without trying to be, and the beauty and dignity of her character is apparent even as she portrays a very convincing princess in disguise. In her later years, she was a Goodwill Ambassador for UNICEF, having once herself been on the receiving end of emergency food aid as a child in post-WW2 Europe.<\/p>\n<p>Sadly, although I admired Audrey\u2019s humanitarian legacy and reputed grace and kindness, I was most inspired by her <em>thinness.<\/em>\u00a0In the days of my Audrey obsession, her brilliant film performances were less important than the visibility of her long, lovely bones in her various stunning Givenchy and Edith Head designs. That her thinness was likely due to an <a title=\"eating disorder\" href=\"http:\/\/www.elegantwoman.org\/audrey-hepburn-anorexia.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">eating disorder<\/a>\u00a0rooted in the wartime starvation she suffered as a child did not dissuade me; neither did her struggles with depression and self-loathing (which are <a title=\"demonstrated\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment#Results\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">demonstrated<\/a> side effects of starvation.)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/484\/2011\/08\/audrey-hepburn-unicef-audrey-hepburn-1004226_400_276.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-108\" title=\"Audrey-Hepburn-Unicef-audrey-hepburn-1004226_400_276\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/484\/2011\/08\/audrey-hepburn-unicef-audrey-hepburn-1004226_400_276.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"207\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>No. I saw a thin, beautiful, kind person who didn\u2019t need to eat AND STILL had the energy to save the world. I wanted to be thin, most of all, and\u00a0<em>then\u00a0<\/em>be kind and save all the starving kids with the food I didn\u2019t eat. After all,\u00a0Audrey\u00a0herself loved a\u00a0<a title=\"poem\" href=\"http:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/quotes\/show\/15618\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" decorated-link\" rel=\"nofollow\">poem<\/a>\u00a0that seemed to make this connection (\u201cfor a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.\u201d)\u00a0When I looked in the mirror, I saw broad shoulders and curves. I berated myself for being unable, like\u00a0Audrey, to subsist on next to nothing. \u00a0\u2018That\u2019s the end of me doing <em>anything<\/em>\u00a0worthwhile,\u2019\u00a0I\u2019d think\u2013\u2018<strong>what good can I do if I don\u2019t look like\u00a0Audrey? Surely that figure was the fount of all her goodness?\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/484\/2011\/08\/photo-on-2011-07-31-at-14-01-2.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-110\" title=\"Photo on 2011-07-31 at 14.01 #2\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/484\/2011\/08\/photo-on-2011-07-31-at-14-01-2.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Of course, this sounds crazy now. It didn\u2019t then, partly because I was not incredibly well nourished (needed some brain food!) and partly because the idea that \u201cyou are worth something only if you look great\u201d is a message that\u2019s broadcasted endlessly and ubiquitously\u2013especially to girls. Do a little experiment\u2013listen to what people say to girls, even little ones. How many comments do you hear that are related to appearance (whether of clothing, hair, or whatever)? <strong>Do the comments that affirm (or simply call attention to)\u00a0<em>character<\/em>\u00a0outnumber the ones doing the same for<em> appearance?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There are all kinds of beauty, and all kinds of ways of doing good in the world. I still like\u00a0Audrey\u00a0Hepburn\u2019s movies, and I can enjoy them now without obsessing about the difference between\u00a0Audrey\u2019s figure and my own, but I still regret Hollywood\u2019s move (beginning, some say, with\u00a0Audrey) toward ever-increasing <a title=\"unreality\" href=\"http:\/\/webcenters.netscape.compuserve.com\/celebrity\/gallery.jsp?gname=thincelebs\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">unreality<\/a> in the area of women\u2019s bodies. And so, for years now, <strong>I\u2019ve actively looked for female role models who embody beauty that I find compelling and unusual and\u00a0<em>unrelated to body size<\/em>, like <a title=\"Wangari Muta Maathai\" href=\"http:\/\/www.greenbeltmovement.org\/w.php?id=59\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Wangari Muta Maathai<\/a>\u2013women I can imagine sitting down to a meal\u00a0<em>and eating with<\/em>\u2013with gratitude and goodwill, and no guilt.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/484\/2011\/08\/wangari3.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-111\" title=\"wangari3\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/484\/2011\/08\/wangari3.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"267\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>Because I want people like this girl to know that she can save the world, be beautiful in every way, and eat a great meal\u2013and maybe all at the same time.<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_109\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-109\" style=\"width: 199px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/484\/2011\/08\/dsc_1139.jpg\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-109\" title=\"DSC_1139\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/484\/2011\/08\/dsc_1139.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"199\" height=\"300\"><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-109\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">my niece Elli, helping pick an early spring salad<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From about age 15 or so, Audrey Hepburn was my idol. I worshiped the iconic film star, watching her movies again and again, poring over books about her life, and searching for images of her online. I could have done worse. Hepburn was, by most accounts, an extraordinarily lovely person, both inside and out. In [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2070,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[95,23,39,40,96,44,59],"tags":[2656,2696,2664,869,873,2697,937,1343],"class_list":["post-105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-body-image","category-children","category-faith","category-family","category-fat-talk","category-food","category-justice","tag-beauty","tag-body-image","tag-children","tag-faith-2","tag-family-2","tag-fat-talk","tag-food-2","tag-justice-2"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>My Audrey Hepburn Problem<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"From about age 15 or so, Audrey Hepburn was my idol. 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