{"id":604,"date":"2011-09-08T05:00:23","date_gmt":"2011-09-08T09:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/eatwithjoy.org\/?p=604"},"modified":"2011-09-08T05:00:23","modified_gmt":"2011-09-08T09:00:23","slug":"eating-with-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rachelmariestone\/2011\/09\/08\/eating-with-children\/","title":{"rendered":"eating WITH children"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I\u2019d like to continue this week\u2019s de facto<\/em> theme of eating together, but with a bit more of a focus on eating with\/feeding children. Obviously, this is a HUGE topic\u2013one to which I will certainly return in future posts\u2013so I\u2019m going to confine my thoughts today to the (still big!) question: \u201chow can I make family dinners that everyone\u2013including the children\u2013will enjoy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>It\u2019s a good question. In our own family life, there have been times where my creative cooking energies have been nearly stifled by the complaints of my children.<\/strong> There are at least four basic responses to the problem of kids who don\u2019t want what\u2019s for dinner:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. change family cooking\/eating habits to suit their tastes<\/li>\n
  2. make ultimatums and give the kids nothing until they eat what\u2019s served<\/li>\n
  3. prepare separate dishes for the adults and for the children<\/li>\n
  4. allow the children to choose for themselves what they will eat from what\u2019s being served, and offer one or two reasonable alternatives in the event of a hated-one dish type meal<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    First, you can probably guess that I\u2019m not a huge fan of changing family cooking and eating habits to suit kids\u2019 tastes.<\/strong> I\u2019m not, but I\u2019m not a legalist on this either: I think making changes within reason make sense. In my time overseas, I noticed that European (particularly Continental) parents make adjustments in the food for their children. So for example, let\u2019s say my friend was going to broil some chicken and vegetables. She might put a curry rub on most of it, but leave a small, separate portion plain for the children. I like this.<\/strong> While there\u2019s always the parents (like mine!) who brag that their kids ate spicy curries at eighteen months of age (which I did) it\u2019s also true that kids are biologically wired to dislike strong and bitter flavors\u2013perhaps a protective mechanism to keep them from eating poisonous plants and such. Making small, reasonable adjustments like this\u2013for example, my kids don\u2019t like chicken breaded, so if I\u2019m making chicken, I leave theirs plain, which isn\u2019t any extra work\u2013seem to me like kindness and good sense.<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a>Second<\/strong>, making ultimatums and threatening not to feed the child until they eat what\u2019s in front of them. Certainly, there is a time-honored tradition here. And there\u2019s a measure of wisdom, perhaps, too. It\u2019s true that starving people aren\u2019t choosy about what they eat. But think of a food YOU\u2019RE averse to and imagine being told \u201ceat it, and you\u2019re not getting anything else until you DO eat it.\u201d I\u2019m stubborn enough to starve until I convinced whoever was doing this to me to give me something I like, and my kids, unfortunately, inherited this \u201cspirited-ness.\u201d It just doesn\u2019t feel very kind to me. (Have you had experience with this? Tell me your stories!)<\/p>\n

    Third,<\/strong> preparing separate dishes for adults and children. As a general rule, this is way too much work, which makes it kind of unsustainable. In practice, it can mean relying on convenience foods (frozen chicken nuggets? spaghetti-Os?) to feed the kids while the grownups eat something else. Another thing that I don\u2019t like about this approach is that it doesn\u2019t provide a way for children to learn to eat \u201cgrownup\u201d foods<\/strong>\u2013and I do think that this is important. Now, again, I\u2019m no legalist; I\u2019m not going to say that this is something to NEVER do. It makes sense, for example, if you\u2019re having a late, grownup dinner party, to make something simple beforehand for the children, like macaroni and cheese and some steamed vegetables. (Unless you\u2019re me, and your kids hate mac & cheese<\/em>. Go figure.)<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a>Finally, #4: \u201callow the children to choose for themselves what they will eat from what\u2019s being served, and offer one or two reasonable alternatives in the event of a hated-one dish type meal.\u201d Maybe you\u2019ve already guessed that our family falls most comfortably into this approach.<\/strong> In a comment on this post<\/a>, my colleague and friend Ellen<\/a> noted that her family often eats meals that are somewhat customizable, like tortillas with a variety of fillings. That way, each person can choose what suits them while still sharing the same basic meal. I like this approach, and I tend to have a fairly relaxed approach in monitoring what my kids choose. This sometimes means that someone ends up eating a tortilla filled with rice (ahem) but more often than not, as I look over the choices my kids make from their reasonably healthy options, it works out to a pretty good balance<\/strong>. (Read about an interesting 1928 research experiment on kids\u2019 food choices here<\/a>.) In the event of a mostly-one dish type meal (like a stew or a curry) that they don\u2019t like, I am not opposed to letting them eat the bread or rice exclusively, or letting them have some apple slices and peanut butter instead. They don\u2019t get to raid the fridge or place orders, but they can choose to eat the meal or to eat the one, simple alternative we have.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a>
    last night's dinner...notice the sly hand illicitly grabbing a pita.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    <\/strong>Additionally, I do<\/em> encourage my kids to try at least a bite of everything that\u2019s being served, but in a fun way. I\u2019ll pay them a dime to take one bite of something, or dare them to taste it in the classic frat-boy tradition. It helps to have a sense of humor when eating with kids. I think it\u2019s important to retain a sense of enjoyment at mealtimes, and not let them become quests for nutritional perfection or battles about \u201chow many bites do I have to eat before I can have dessert?\u201d Because (and I\u2019m planning to say more about this, also, in future posts) food is a gift from God, meant for enjoyment as well as nourishment.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    And so people with children in their lives, I think, can and should help expand kids\u2019 enjoyment of food as one way of helping them delight in God\u2019s creation.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    (and I will say from experience that helping them see where their food comes from\u2013as in gardening or visiting a farm\u2013is one great<\/em> way to help expand their wonder at creation and gratitude toward God and piquing their interest in vegetables.<\/strong>)<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I\u2019d like to continue this week\u2019s de facto theme of eating together, but with a bit more of a focus on eating with\/feeding children. Obviously, this is a HUGE topic\u2013one to which I will certainly return in future posts\u2013so I\u2019m going to confine my thoughts today to the (still big!) question: \u201chow can I make […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2070,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,26,36,39,40,44],"tags":[767,876,879,901,1180],"class_list":["post-604","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-children","category-connecting","category-eating-together-2","category-faith","category-family","category-food","tag-eating-as-a-family","tag-family-food","tag-family-meals","tag-feeding-children","tag-how-to-feed-children"],"yoast_head":"\neating WITH children<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I'd like to continue this week's de facto theme of eating together, but with a bit more of a focus on eating with\/feeding children. 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