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I shared the following notes with a pastor friend who was preparing a message addressing sexual immorality and gender confusion. It\u2019s a different approach, a verse by verse brief commentary on a passage. (I started with the last part of Ephesians 4 because it\u2019s the foundation for Ephesians 5.)<\/p>\n
These are tough issues, and they\u2019re not going away. Now more than ever, Christians must consider how we can communicate with those with whom we disagree. The more we speak to these issues with grace\u00a0and<\/em>\u00a0truth, not just one or the other, the better we represent Jesus and the gospel.<\/p>\n By the way, my friend preached a great message that truly was full of both grace and truth. His pastor\u2019s heart was expressed clearly and many hurting people came to him in tears afterwards. Confused, disoriented, and deceived people are not our enemy\u2014Satan and demons are our enemies.<\/p>\n I hope these reflections are helpful:<\/p>\n 17\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>Now this I say and\u00a0testify in the Lord,\u00a0that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do,\u00a0in the\u00a0futility of their minds<\/strong>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n God warns us against not just wrong behavior, but also against the wrong thinking that\u2019s behind it\u2014including the notion that sexual identity is disconnected from the body, as created by God and demonstrated by our sex organs, chromosomes, and DNA. It is a modern futility of the mind that sexual identity is a matter of personal preference as influenced by our life experiences.<\/p>\n 18\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>They\u00a0are\u00a0darkened in their understanding<\/strong>,<\/p><\/blockquote>\n All cultures historically recognized that boys are boys and girls are girls, but our culture is flying in the face of science by determining that sexual identity isn\u2019t about the body with its parts and chromosomes and DNA, but is about our thinking and feeling, which are easily influenced by the Fall, and by personal experience, the stories of others, and propaganda, including teaching in school classrooms.<\/p>\n alienated from the life of God because of\u00a0the ignorance that is in them<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n While we pride ourselves on our degree of knowledge, making ourselves feel superior to cultures of the past, much of what we now \u201cknow\u201d about gender is steeped in ignorance of scientific and historically affirmed realities. (C. S. Lewis called this \u201cchronological snobbery\u201d\u2014the belief that modern opinions are always automatically better than ancient ones.)<\/p>\n due to\u00a0their hardness of heart<\/strong>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Our problem isn\u2019t just mental or cultural but spiritual. The world, the flesh\/sin nature, and the devil are all working against us so that we keep getting it wrong about important matters of human nature and sexual identity, resulting in the corruption of our culture, parallel to the moral downward spiral of the once great Roman empire.<\/p>\n 19\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>They\u00a0have become\u00a0callous<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n We have violated our consciences so long by entertaining wrong notions about human sexuality that our hearts are hardened, and we are now believing falsehoods that are lies of the evil one, designed to harm people who Satan hates because we are God\u2019s image-bearers. (This is another example of how the evil one has a special hatred of children, and in this case, targets them with gender confusion. He wants to kill them, and he lies to facilitate and cover his attempts to destroy them.)<\/p>\n and\u00a0have given themselves up to sensuality<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Giving up means surrender. It\u2019s putting ourselves under the lordship of a false god rather than the one true God, who tells us the truth about gender and sex. It\u2019s letting the world, the flesh, and the devil take over our minds and our lives, rather than letting God transform us through the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2) by meditating on Scripture, which is the source of truth and contradicts the lies about gender and sex.<\/p>\n greedy to practice every kind of impurity<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n When we unselectively feed our minds with whatever\u2019s on Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, or network television, it will twist and undermine a Christian worldview and will inevitably lead to immoral thinking and living. (This is one reason I recommend VidAngel to screen out sex acts, profanity, and blasphemy.)<\/p>\n 20\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>But that is not the way you\u00a0learned Christ!\u2014\u00a021\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>assuming that\u00a0you have heard about him and\u00a0were taught in him, as\u00a0the truth is in Jesus<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n The truth is\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0in what the world serves up to us about sex and gender. Rather, the truth is in Jesus, as revealed in God\u2019s Word.<\/p>\n 22\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>to\u00a0put off\u00a0your old self,\u00a0which belongs to your former manner of life and\u00a0is corrupt through\u00a0deceitful desires,<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n We do not naturally believe what is true\u2014our opinions are deeply skewed and our natural desires are deceitful because of the Fall. We are inclined to follow them even though they are lying to us. They are Satan\u2019s manipulative efforts to derail us and our children from following Jesus and enjoying a healthy sexual identity and lifestyle.<\/p>\n 23\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>and\u00a0to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n The battle is won or lost in the mind; that\u2019s why the current efforts in public schools and society to negate Christian morality and to undermine God\u2019s teaching about avoiding sexual immorality and our identity are so dangerous.<\/p>\n 24\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>and to\u00a0put on\u00a0the new self,\u00a0created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Just as we put on one set of clothes instead of another, we must take off the wrong clothes of our sinful identity and choose to put on the right ones, those true to who we are in Jesus. \u201cPutting on\u201d requires effort and discipline. We must affirm not the fallen creation that tempts us, but the new creation in Christ that grants us righteousness and holy standing before God\u2014this is the power source for\u00a0thinking<\/em>\u00a0righteously about sex and gender, and\u00a0living<\/em>\u00a0righteously. Actions flow from thoughts. Satan seeks to poison our minds so our actions will displease God, and therefore destroy ourselves and our families.<\/p>\n 25\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>Therefore,\u00a0having put away falsehood<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n We must first\u00a0discern<\/em>\u00a0what is false (for example, what our culture is saying about gender and sex and abortion, etc.), and then we must\u00a0affirm<\/em>\u00a0what is true, what God\u2019s Word tells us. Finally, we must\u00a0live by<\/em>\u00a0what is true, which is not only good but also smart and always in our best interests.<\/p>\n let each one of you\u00a0speak the truth with his neighbor<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n We owe each other the truth, and we must boldly speak it\u2014all the more because lies are undermining the worldviews of unbelievers\u00a0and<\/em>\u00a0many believers. There are churches, families, and individual believers being undercut in their walk with Jesus because we are not studying and loving the truth and sharing it with each other.<\/p>\n for\u00a0we are members one of another.\u00a026<\/sup><\/strong>Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,\u00a027\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>and\u00a0give no opportunity to the devil<\/strong>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The devil is an opportunist. He is eagerly waiting for you to give him a chance to take control of your life, destroy you, and ruin your relationship with Jesus. \u201cBe alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone\u00a0to\u00a0devour\u201d (1 Peter 5:8). If he\u2019s looking for you, you\u2019d better look out for him! He goes after Christians who settle for the world instead of Jesus, and who isolate themselves from the flock where there is some safety in numbers.<\/p>\n The people you choose to hang with and the places you choose to go (including over TV and internet) will determine your spiritual future. Sexual identity and sexual behavior are two of Satan\u2019s favorite targets. Every time your eyes and mind go toward what displeases God and pleases the devil, you are casting your vote for Satan. Be quick to stop, repent, and step away from sin\u2014give no opportunity to the devil (Ephesians 4:27)!<\/p>\n 28\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>Let the thief no longer steal, but rather\u00a0let him labor,\u00a0doing honest work with his own hands, so\u00a0that he may have something to share with anyone in need.\u00a029\u00a0<\/sup>Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n This includes sexual jokes and innuendo, and also telling children that gender is a choice instead of a gift from their Creator, and that their body should be denied or changed to conform to what they are presently feeling. This is corrupting talk, and God detests it.<\/strong><\/p>\n but only such as is\u00a0good for building up<\/strong>,<\/p><\/blockquote>\n We affirm God\u2019s plan and His directives\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0to tear people down but to build them up. Satan pretends to build people up while sabotaging their lives.<\/p>\n as fits the occasion, that it may give\u00a0grace to those who hear.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n What builds people up is not always what they want to hear, but what they\u00a0need<\/em>\u00a0to hear. We are not just here to make ourselves and each other\u00a0feel<\/em>\u00a0good but to help each other\u00a0be<\/em>\u00a0good. Grace is always vital, as is truth\u2014Jesus came full of grace and truth (John 1:14), and so should we. We should never heap guilt on someone experiencing gender confusion; instead we should listen and care lovingly and genuinely for them, and recognize we too are confused about aspects of our life and identity. All of us need to look to the God, who created us as He did for a glorious reason.<\/p>\n 30\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>And\u00a0do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n He is the one we should desire to please, and when we sin we hurt Him.<\/p>\n by whom you were sealed for the day of\u00a0redemption.\u00a031\u00a0<\/sup>Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice<\/strong>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n If we address our culture\u2019s gender confusion and sexual values from a posture of animosity, we will confirm their perception that we are haters, and we will lose the opportunity to have meaningful relationships from which we can speak into their lives. As we approach our brothers and sisters in Christ who are genuinely struggling with who they are and what their culture is telling them is normal, we need to be sure our hearts and words to them are wrath-free, anger-free, clamor-free, slander-free, and malice-free. We are to put away such things, and only Jesus has the power to do that life-changing work in us. But we do need to desire to change and to repeatedly ask His empowerment to do so.<\/p>\n 32\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>Be kind to one another, tenderhearted,\u00a0forgiving one\u00a0<\/strong>another, as God in Christ forgave you.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n We are not to encourage sin in each other, but we are to be sympathetic to each other\u2019s struggles, including struggles of sexual identity, which can be terribly difficult. But the answer is never to give in to the struggle, but INSTEAD to call upon God for His grace and empowerment. Even if our desires don\u2019t change, we can say \u201cno\u201d to them, just as we are called upon to say no to other temptations. If this means never engaging in sex and remaining single all our lives, that is\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0the worst-case scenario. It is, in fact, exactly what the most fulfilled person who ever lived did\u2014Jesus. And He had dear friends and family just as we can.<\/p>\n Therefore\u00a0be imitators of God<\/strong>,<\/p><\/blockquote>\n We\u2019re not to be imitators of our culture or its idols.<\/p>\n as beloved children.\u00a02\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>And\u00a0walk in love<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n When you take a stand for God\u2019s created gender design and for sexual morality, be sure you speak with genuine love, not as a self-righteous moralist Pharisee who loves to condemn others.<\/p>\n as\u00a0Christ loved us and\u00a0gave himself up for us,<\/strong>\u00a0a\u00a0fragrant\u00a0offering and sacrifice to God.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Christ is the model of how we are to address gender and sex issues, so that when people call us haters, others can see and say, \u201cNo, they disagree, but I think they love me and want the best for me.\u201d<\/p>\n 3\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>But\u00a0sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness\u00a0must not even be named among you<\/strong>, as is proper among saints.\u00a04\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>Let there be\u00a0no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead\u00a0let there be thanksgiving<\/strong>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The answer to filthiness, foolish talk, and crude joking isn\u2019t just cleaning up your act, but giving thanks to God. When we give Him thanks in all things, it pulls us toward Him, and it pushes away what dishonors Him.<\/p>\n 5\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>For you may be sure of this, that\u00a0everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God<\/strong>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Let\u2019s not ignore or quickly explain away this verse, as in, \u201cOf course, this doesn\u2019t mean sexually immoral and greedy people aren\u2019t saved.\u201d Clearly God is saying something vital here, that should shake us to our core if we are leading lives of immorality and materialism. Notice how God links sexual immorality with greed and materialism\u2014some Christians are quick to condemn immorality when in reality, the immorality of greed permeates their lives. Everyone knows church leaders shouldn\u2019t be sexually immoral. Why do we fail to realize they also shouldn\u2019t be greedy and materialistic?<\/p>\n 6\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>Let no one\u00a0deceive you with empty words, for\u00a0because of these things\u00a0the wrath of God comes<\/strong>\u00a0upon\u00a0the sons of disobedience.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n We should repent of sexual immorality not only because it is wrong but also because it is stupid. Unless we forsake it, it will destroy us.<\/p>\n 7\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>Therefore\u00a0do not become partners with them;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n To tolerate or laugh at sexually immoral jokes is to mock God, and to remain silent is to endorse them.<\/p>\n 8\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>for\u00a0at one time you were\u00a0darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.<\/strong>\u00a0Walk as children of light<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Our job is to recognize who God has made us to be in Christ, and live according to that reality, not according to sin, the world, the flesh, and the devil. We need our Lord and each other to do this.<\/p>\n 9\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>(for\u00a0the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true),10\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>and\u00a0try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord<\/strong>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n We need to stop trying to please people and echoing back what our culture is telling us. God is the Audience of One\u2014Paul says, \u201cIf I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Jesus\u201d (Galatians 1:10). We\u2019re to live according to what God has told us in His Word.<\/p>\n 11\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>Take no part in the\u00a0unfruitful\u00a0works of darkness, but instead\u00a0expose them.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n It\u2019s critical to refuse to do the works of darkness, and quickly confess and repent when we do. But it\u2019s not enough to\u00a0abstain<\/em>\u00a0from them. We should also\u00a0expose<\/em>\u00a0them, which means having the courage and the love for others to call them out for what they are.\u00a0Do not compromise<\/em>, even if speaking out about our culture\u2019s denial of truth and goodness costs you friendships or your job.<\/p>\n 12\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>For\u00a0it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret<\/strong>.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n We shouldn\u2019t be unnecessarily graphic so as to tempt, though it is sometimes necessary to clearly show the evil of something God commands us to expose.<\/p>\n 13\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>But when\u00a0anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible,\u00a014\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, \u201cAwake<\/strong>, O sleeper,\u00a0\u00a0and\u00a0arise from the dead\u2026<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The death we are to arise from is rebellion against our Creator and Savior. Colossians 3:1 says, \u201cSince, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.\u201d<\/p>\n The rising in Christ is what He has both accomplished (already) and promised us (\u201cnot yet\u201d).<\/p>\n \u2026and\u00a0Christ will shine on you.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n It all comes back to Jesus. We need to wake up to what\u2019s happening, and speak the truth in love to a lost and increasingly confused, disoriented, and deceived generation. To shine with His light, we must first allow Him daily to shine His light upon us. We are to live the loving life of people risen in Jesus and covered with His righteousness. It\u2019s all about Jesus. He must increase, we must decrease (John 3:30). And when we do this, we will be the happiest of all people, because He made us not for sexual confusion and immorality, but for His glory and our good.<\/p>\n He is the Audience of One. We must stop trying to \u201cfit in\u201d to our culture, and instead \u201cbe blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world\u201d (Philippians 2:15).<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I shared the following notes with a pastor friend who was preparing a message addressing sexual immorality and gender confusion. It\u2019s a different approach, a verse by verse brief commentary on a passage. (I started with the last part of Ephesians 4 because it\u2019s the foundation for Ephesians 5.) These are tough issues, and they\u2019re […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2661,"featured_media":4555,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[799],"tags":[1671,4212,4215,111,3478,575,33,3760,141,112,1674,390],"class_list":["post-4552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sexual-purity","tag-culture","tag-ephesians","tag-gender-confusion","tag-grace","tag-identity","tag-lgbtq","tag-scripture","tag-sexual-immorality","tag-transgender","tag-truth","tag-values","tag-world"],"yoast_head":"\nEphesians 4<\/strong><\/h4>\n
Ephesians 5<\/h4>\n