===========================<\/strong><\/p>\n By \u201cFresh LA\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n Nothing was off the table.\u00a0We could talk about anything and question everything.\u00a0This was the beginning to an outcome none of us\u00a0could have\u00a0predicted.<\/p>\n The small group that met on my backyard patio consisted of staff, church members, neighbors, friends of my teenage kids and sometimes even area pastors. My patio served as a safe place to converse, laugh, cry as needed and just be. However, through the years, it was my core staff of four to six who came regularly. We were very close, having served the same church for almost 18 years.<\/p>\n Together, we started an evangelical church with nine adults\u00a0in the early 2000\u2019s. At its zenith, it grew to 350.\u00a0 This was a monumental feat in a community that was predominately Catholic.\u00a0Actually, 80% of our members were former Catholics seeking refuge from years of abuse, shame and fear. The rest were a mix of AA members and fundamentalists who loved the accepting atmosphere and crazy good music. I had the most in common with this last group.<\/p>\n Our\u00a0patio\u00a0gatherings happened organically.\u00a0There was no set time. Sometimes my wife and I would come home and find people hanging out waiting for us to show up!\u00a0Since my patio was the venue, I\u2019ll take credit for what affectionately became known as \u201cPatio Church\u201d<\/strong> \u2014 the catalyst that\u00a0led to an inevitable exodus for me and my staff. Later, we experienced individual awakenings, realizing on various levels that we had left the irrational, shame\/guilt religious culture we had grown up in.<\/p>\n When it was just church staff, our conversations frequently began with \u201cshop talk\u201d related to the various ministries we individually led. Our church was thriving, and the challenges were numerous. My patio was a safe place to air frustrations, to sigh, laugh and spin off into creative brainstorming. We would often run the gamut, discussing pop culture, music, physics, art, books, philosophy, the latest news and old memories.<\/p>\n As the sun set on the patio, our conversations often turned to the subject of being, and what we were encouraging people to become,\u00a0now and eternally.\u00a0As the flames turned into glowing coals in my fire pit, our conversation would become\u00a0introspective with questions such as:<\/p>\n Why are we who we are right now? Are we always going to be this way? Can we be something else? Do we have a choice? How do we transcend the narrow-minded expectations that have been placed upon us?<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n We often referred to this claustrophobic\u00a0why\/how<\/em>\u00a0space as \u201cThe Damn Dark Room.\u201d\u00a0 We were desperate not only to find the answers for ourselves, but for those we served.<\/p>\n Over the course of three short years, we began to\u00a0realize\u00a0how our evangelical faith and messaging largely inhibited reason, problem solving and maturity.<\/p>\n Could it be that the faith culture we had devoted our lives to was antithetic, serving as both hero and archenemy?<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n This was the chief quandary that occupied our staff patio conversations.<\/p>\n On a side note, it\u2019s amazing that my staff served with me for almost two decades. Most churches experience a tremendous amount of\u00a0staff\u00a0turnover. Somehow, we did not.<\/p>\n Patio Church originated from a shared ache to be truly free. I can honestly say that our highest pursuit was to discover a pathway of genuine transformation \u2013 for those we served and for ourselves. I know this sounds super altruistic, but it\u2019s true.\u00a0It was never in our minds to leave our church or our religion.\u00a0In the early times of searching, we explored the limits of a more generous orthodoxy via Brian McLaren, Richard Rohr, Marcus Borg, Robert Capon, etc. Their insightful writings pacified us for a season, but proved to have a short shelf life.<\/p>\n My staff and I\u00a0hosted seminars, retreats and taught small groups featuring meditative \u201cstillness\u201d prayer and\u00a0how to \u201cforgive God\u201d and ourselves. We revamped Children\u2019s Ministry lessons so the focus would less on Bible stories and more on honesty and coping skills.\u00a0There were minor pushbacks to this, but never anything that detoured our progress.\u00a0My sermon series were a rebranding of the 12-Steps with titles such as,\u00a0Breathing Under Water, Naked & Afraid, Being Human, etc<\/em>.<\/p>\n It all went super well until Trump<\/strong> happened!<\/p>\n After two years of\u00a0reconstruction within the church, the sad outcome became painfully obvious. The rise of Trump had energized the fundamentalist minority within the congregation. They started carrying concealed side arms to Sunday services and dominating small-group meetings with right-wing talking points. They were also obsessed with end-of-the-world predictions. The amount of damage control required to deal with them eventually\u00a0eclipsed our normal ministerial duties.<\/p>\n Frankly, my staff and I were worn out. After 18 years of being in building\/rebuilding mode, we didn\u2019t have much gas left to launch the church beyond the TRUMP-HUMP.<\/p>\n After a\u00a0private\u00a0Patio Church heart-to-heart, we agreed on an exit plan\u00a0\u2013 from our church \u2013\u00a0not from Christianity. At this point, my staff and I still had no idea that we\u2019d end up\u00a0as Universalists, \u201cnones\u201d and humanists! It wasn\u2019t until we were completely out of ministry, that staff and their spouses realized how \u201cOUT\u201d we had become.<\/p>\n Eventually, we devised a simple plan that would enable us to transition out of our ministerial roles while finding new jobs and helping the church\u00a0to move on without us.\u00a0It\u2019s important to note that convincing\u00a0members to follow us or stop believing was never part of that plan.<\/em>Privately, we made a spreadsheet with drop-dead dates for positions that needed to be filled,\u00a0our own at the top of that list. I hosted a series of all-church fireside chats, where I introduced\u00a0only my departure\u00a0and the need for a Transitional Leadership Team and volunteers.\u00a0We scheduled these \u201cchats\u201d during the time that was always set aside for the annual volunteer drive \u2014 strategic to say the least.\u00a0The public reason I gave for leaving\u00a0was honest and to the point: after almost two decades of serving, I needed a break.<\/p>\n Initially, church members were shocked and saddened. Never in their wildest dreams had they imagined my departure. Nonetheless, in a few short weeks, they accepted it; especially since I assured them I would stay on for 90 days to assist with the transition. During that time, I helped maintain stability for my staff and the congregation.<\/p>\n My core staff members quietly recruited their replacements as we had previously planned.\u00a0Everything proceeded like clockwork.\u00a0 At the end of three months, we finished training the new church administration\u00a0ahead of our private spreadsheet schedule. At last, we could turn in our keys and enjoy a lazy Sunday brunch together! It should also be noted that after leaving,\u00a0my staff and I\u00a0remained available to the church as unpaid consultants. The new leadership didn\u2019t hesitate to seek us out during that time and we were happy to assist.<\/p>\n So, what is life like now?<\/p>\n I\u2019m a\u00a0construction project manager working remotely with national\/international brands.\u00a0The very talented former worship leader does the same in a cubical across from me. The administrator works in the county clerk\u2019s office and remains one of my dearest friends. The former head of A\/V is a HVAC engineer \u2013\u00a0he always was, though\u2014and yes, he\u2019s a very close friend, too.\u00a0Others cut hair, sell cars, work in the public-school system, etc.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re wondering how we found jobs, there\u2019s no great revelation to share. We sought help writing our resumes via Google, and then applied and interviewed.\u00a0Ultimately, we found jobs through referrals from within the church.\u00a0\u00a0This is a testament to our gracious exit and the authentic relationships we had established.\u00a0\u00a0It also helped that some of us had worked part-time jobs in addition to our work at the church.\u00a0\u00a0If you know a little about church planting, you know that side jobs are often a necessity.<\/p>\n Did it happen in the blink of an eye? No. Were there discouraging times? Yes. We didn\u2019t always know what to do, but with each experience we learned\u00a0how to approach our next opportunity.<\/p>\n As for Patio Church, it\u2019s currently on hiatus. However, there are frequent Deconversion Parties. They are a blast!\u00a0I will tell you more about these later,\u00a0once I receive the\u00a0\u201cblessing\u201d of my former staff.\u00a0 Meanwhile, for anyone interested in hosting one, it\u2019s simple:<\/p>\n \u201cWherever two or more are gathered in the name of\u00a0honesty and\u00a0free thought, lo, the\u00a0festive spirit of new beginnings\u00a0shall be in thy midst.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Thus saith, Fresh LA.<\/p>\n **Editor\u2019s Question** What are your thoughts on the clergy group de-conversion aspect of this story?\u00a0<\/strong>(added, 7-2-18)<\/p>\n =====================<\/strong><\/p>\n >>>>Photo Credits:\u00a0\u00a0by Michael Vadon \u2013 Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0 via Commons \u2013 https:\/\/commons.wikimedia.org\/wiki\/File:Donald_Trump_September_3_2015.jpg#\/ ; personal photo by Fresh LA<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Editor\u2019s Note: Welcome to Chapter Two of the story\u00a0about the evangelical ministerial staff who left both their church and their religion. \u00a0\/Linda LaScola, Editor =========================== By \u201cFresh LA\u201d Nothing was off the table.\u00a0We could talk about anything and question everything.\u00a0This was the beginning to an outcome none of us\u00a0could have\u00a0predicted. The small group that met […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1811,"featured_media":6278,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6266","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/468\/2018\/07\/patio-church-2-1024x768.jpg\")
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<\/a>Bio: \u201cFresh LA\u201d\u00a0<\/strong>is a child of the 70s who grew up northeast of St. Louis, MO. His life journey involved a two-century old family farm, a mid-west Bible college, almost 30 years of church planting in the northeast and responsibilities as a professional evangelical adviser, nationally and abroad. These days, he\u2019s content to work as a project manager by day, and at night, blog about his past and present experiences as a human, nothing more and nothing less.\u00a0To learn more, visit\u00a0http:\/\/www.freshLA.me<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n