{"id":184,"date":"2014-07-16T15:00:55","date_gmt":"2014-07-16T19:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebariley\/?p=184"},"modified":"2014-07-16T15:14:10","modified_gmt":"2014-07-16T19:14:10","slug":"forgiving-the-church-with-a-sledge-hammer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebariley\/2014\/07\/forgiving-the-church-with-a-sledge-hammer\/","title":{"rendered":"Forgiving the Church…With a Sledge Hammer"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"\"<\/a>By: James Alexander Langteaux<\/p>\n

I am probably the poster child for Post Traumatic Church Syndrome. I was raised in an extremely fundamental Pentecostal<\/a> church where women were not allowed to wear pants. (Okay, that could be a misleading mental image).<\/p>\n

\u00a0This church\u00a0taught me that God hates gays.<\/p>\n

My trauma started there: I loved God and I was gay.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0After years of abuse by pastors, family members and TV ministries, I had to escape. I wrote a book Gay Conversations with God \u2013 straight talk on fanatics, fags and the God who loves us all<\/em> that came off the presses swinging.\u00a0 It struck a chord with my gay brothers and sisters who also suffered with PTCS <\/em><\/strong>from being bloodied and beaten with Bibles, but it was also in your face, raw and a little belligerent.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0After publication I realized I had alienated my brothers and sisters who remained on the pews.\u00a0 Many had no idea what to do with the whole \u201cgay thing.\u201d\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t really blame them \u2013 it has taken me a lifetime trying to figure out what to do with the gay thing.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I had an epiphany.\u00a0 I needed to not only forgive the church, but I needed to go back in and work toward some reconciliation.\u00a0 God was asking me to serve the very thing that I have wanted to destroy \u2013 to lay my life down, to put my ego aside \u2013 to release past hurt and trauma and simply serve. And love.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Because that is what Jesus did.<\/p>\n

\u00a0While the hammer was swinging and the nails sunk deeply into tender, loving flesh \u2013 Jesus did not call down fire from heaven. Instead, he used all his remaining strength to suck in enough breath to utter the words \u2013 \u201cFather, forgive them, for they have NO idea what they are doing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u00a0They STILL have NO idea what they are doing. <\/strong>But I went back anyway, because forgiveness has to start with me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0The church I\u2019m attending isn\u2019t sure what to do with me. They are wrestling with scripture, feeling that the Bible is very clear on my \u201csins\u201d. They also are feeling that faint tug from deep inside that is indicating that love may be more important than the law. But that tug is still faint. (And if you push the point, there is a very real and probable chance that they will<\/em> faint.)<\/p>\n

\u00a0And so instead of hammering the point, I chose to forgive them\u2026with a sledge hammer.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0I decided to pick up my hammer and start swinging at some very old walls to help with the church remodel. I did this to serve my brothers and sisters, but more importantly \u2013 to prove that although they \u201ccannot put a gay person in any position of leadership\u201d \u2013 they also can\u2019t stop me from serving, swinging and sweating \u2013 from giving freely from my heart.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I took up my sledge hammer in a symbolic act:<\/p>\n

\u00a0It is time that I <\/em>knock down old walls. The very walls that separate \u201cus\u201d from \u201cthem\u201d.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0Those walls are not going to come down through loud, angry voices that are demanding their rights. Those walls will not come down through legislation or lawsuits. Those walls will only come down by serving the ones who have caused irreparable harm.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Those walls will only fall in the face of love.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0And sometimes love looks like a gay man with PTCS swinging a sledge hammer.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Many thanks for this beautiful post\u00a0to my friend James Alexander Langteaux<\/a>, author of Gay Conversations with God: Straight Talk on Fanatics, Fags, and the God Who Loves Us All<\/em><\/a>.\u00a0 James may be reached for comment here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

If you have a PTCS story of 600 words or less that\u00a0you would like to have considered for a guest post \u00a0publication on this blog, please email Rebecca@RebaRiley.com<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: James Alexander Langteaux I am probably the poster child for Post Traumatic Church Syndrome. I was raised in an extremely fundamental Pentecostal church where women were not allowed to wear pants. (Okay, that could be a misleading mental image). \u00a0This church\u00a0taught me that God hates gays. My trauma started there: I loved God and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1839,"featured_media":185,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[17,16],"class_list":["post-184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-gay-christian","tag-interfath-reba-riley-post-traumatic-church-syndrome-ptcs"],"yoast_head":"\nForgiving the Church...With a Sledge Hammer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"By: James Alexander Langteaux I am probably the poster child for Post Traumatic Church Syndrome. 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