**Warning\u2013Pregnancy makes me mean. Late pregnancy makes me honest.**<\/p>\n
I\u2019m going to say it out loud. What you all think, but are too nice to say to people. Deep breath\u2026<\/p>\n
No. I don\u2019t want to talk to your four year old on the phone. When I call to discuss something of a serious nature, I don\u2019t find it charming or particularly cute that your little monster is screaming at the top of his lungs to talk to his \u201cAuntie\u201d. (Am I even related to this kid? I demand a recount!) My idea of an enjoyable conversation does not involve listening to someone who doesn\u2019t speak English well enough to be understood on the phone tell me about pooping in the potty.<\/p>\n
Guess what, kiddo? Everybody poops, and most people don\u2019t want to discuss it. To quote that cute boy from high school, \u201cI don\u2019t like you that way.\u201d <\/p>\n
I don\u2019t care that my spending \u201cjust 30 seconds\u201d on the phone with him will make your life easier. I really don\u2019t. The truth is that if I wanted to talk to a 4 year old then I would have called a 4 year old. I didn\u2019t. Interpret that for yourself. <\/p>\n
If you can\u2019t talk because your child is a monstrous beast and you can\u2019t control him for the 10 minutes I needed to discuss that important thing with you, that\u2019s not my problem. I think that\u2019s why God invented email. Be grown-up enough to admit that you can\u2019t hear what I\u2019m saying over your little treasure\u2019s dulcet tones and request that I call back (tell me when nap time is) or ask me just to email it to you.<\/p>\n
Yes, this makes it lonely for you, but that\u2019s not my problem. I\u2019m tired of being nice to the children of people who aren\u2019t considerate enough to tell junior to shut up. That\u2019s just the way I feel about it. No apologies. Buy duct tape for his mouth, go into the other room, or call me back when he\u2019s sleeping; because I don\u2019t take that from my children, so I\u2019m certainly not taking it from yours.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
**Warning\u2013Pregnancy makes me mean. Late pregnancy makes me honest.** I\u2019m going to say it out loud. What you all think, but are too nice to say to people. Deep breath\u2026 No. I don\u2019t want to talk to your four year old on the phone. When I call to discuss something of a serious nature, I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1979,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1090","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n