I don\u2019t know what happens if you are a subscriber and you don\u2019t get raptured. Do you get a full refund of the subscription price? You should since no one would need to get an email saying you\u2019re in Heaven, since you were one of the losers who didn\u2019t get to go. You didn\u2019t see that coming, did you? I\u2019ll bet you wish you had know. That $40 a year could have bought you some McDonald\u2019s Happy Meals, or 80 Snickers bars, or half a pair of shoes for Imelda.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know what the letters say, but LarryD thinks they look like this, and I have to say he\u2019d not half bad at rubbing salt in the wound:<\/p>\n
\u201cDear _____:<\/p>\n
\u201cSucks to be you!!! I\u2019ve been raptured! I\u2019m in heaven now, and let me tell you, I\u2019m so glad to be outta there! I can\u2019t tell you what heaven\u2019s like, because technically, when I wrote this email, I was still on earth. But I\u2019m sure it\u2019s better than metro Detroit. I mean, it has to be, right? I bet it\u2019s like Grosse Pointe without the view of Windsor.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnyway, a couple things for you to know. First, watch out for the anti-Christ. He\u2019s really smart and tricky, and you won\u2019t want to fall for any of his ideas, otherwise you\u2019ll be screwed. I don\u2019t know who he is, but if he wrote a book, I\u2019m sure Oprah has endorsed it by now. So look for clues there. Second, don\u2019t let anyone implant anything electronic in you \u2013 that\u2019s the mark of the beast! Keep using your Visa bankcard instead. And lastly, can you feed my cat? And change her litter? Since I was raptured six days ago now, she\u2019s really hungry and her box probably stinks to high heaven. In fact, I can smell it!! lol<\/p>\n
\u201cSee you soon, or seven years from now. Good luck during the tribulation!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
oh, too funny, but go read everything Larry said, he\u2019s much funnier than I am.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Acts of the Apostasy has a funny look at an even funnier service. You\u2019ve Been Left Behind is an email distribution service to send out emails to all of your loved ones once the rapture has happened to let them know where you are. The ultimate nanny-nanny boo-boo. I don\u2019t know what happens if you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1979,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1347","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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