{"id":3786,"date":"2015-01-28T17:06:15","date_gmt":"2015-01-28T22:06:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/?p=3786"},"modified":"2015-01-28T17:25:02","modified_gmt":"2015-01-28T22:25:02","slug":"in-idleness-there-is-no-peace","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/01\/in-idleness-there-is-no-peace.html","title":{"rendered":"In Idleness There Is No Peace"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I was flipping through my archives last week in a mad search for a picture I knew I\u2019d posted a few years back, and I began to notice a theme for the past few years. Over and over again I repeatedly mentioned how weary I had become. I blamed it on stress, my busy schedule, the children, the constant clutter in my house, and a lack of sleep. I lamented the exhaustion of body, mind, and soul and would resolve to take steps to remedy the \u201cnew\u201d problem that I\u2019d found.<\/p>\n

Years of identifying and re-identifying the same issues, and I\u2019m still living in them. My house is still packed with clutter. My schedule is still insane. I\u2019m still stressed out, the children are still insanity personified, and my sleep continues to be anything but restful. I\u2019ve changed everything and absolutely nothing at all.<\/p>\n

In reading the repeated pleas for peace, I slowly began to realize \u2013 the things which I thought were exhausting me are not the problems. They are the symptoms of something greater. I have forgotten what it is to know Peace. I\u2019ve lost track of how to rest in God. What used to feel like a deep and profound relationship has become the cold familiarity of nodding acquaintances. He who was my refuge now feels more akin to someone I once knew.<\/p>\n

Tragedy and change have brought me to where I am with God. In my hopelessness and helplessness, I fought ever onward, determined to be the strength upon which my family could lean and the wisdom which would provide answers. As more burdens and catastrophes arrived in our house, I picked them up and placed them on my shoulders, vowing to solve them all. Everyone in our household came to depend upon my strength and resolve until my responsibilities filled my entire day and most of my nights.<\/p>\n

Furious research and constant firefighting left no time to talk to God. I don\u2019t even know that it was a conscious decision to cut back on my prayer life, but it happened very quickly in order to make way for everything else that I knew that I had to do. I knew that God would be there waiting for me when I once again had the time for a conversation, so I let Him wait as I madly clawed through life.<\/p>\n

And there was no peace.<\/p>\n

It was last week that a friend sent me a blog link <\/a>and I sighed in exhaustion as I was reminded of all that I already knew.<\/p>\n

\u201cRest is not idleness,\u201d it said. It\u2019s not sitting still. It\u2019s not even found in blessedly sweet sleep. The rest that I need, that I crave, has nothing to do with being unburdened or still. \u201cAn idle person,\u201d it continued, \u201cis someone not doing God\u2019s will.\u201d<\/p>\n

My first instinct was to cry out \u201cWhat more can I do? I\u2019ve done all of the things He\u2019s put before me. What else could He possibly want of me?<\/em>\u201d As I thought back over the trials of the past three years, and the last one in particular, I couldn\u2019t imagine what else I could have done. I had cared for my family the best I knew how. I\u2019d walked through hellfire and lived to tell the tale.<\/p>\n

But I hadn\u2019t done everything He\u2019d asked of me<\/em>. I couldn\u2019t have. All of my frenetic energy and resulting exhaustion had been idleness of a sort, because\u00a0 I\u2019d never taken one moment out of that continuous battle to even ask who and what I was supposed to be fighting. While I was still praying, I was no longer talking<\/em> with God.\u00a0 I had lost sight of whose will I was supposed to be doing, so I ended up doing no one\u2019s.<\/p>\n

In the end, I haven\u2019t found the answers I sought, or climbed the mountains in my path. I didn\u2019t vanquish my stress or tame the clutter which is still overrunning our house. By not\u00a0 allowing prayer to be a conversation I ended up doing everything and accomplishing nothing. I found the truth in the sentiment \u201cRestlessness is the torment of idle people.\u201d In not seeking out and\u00a0 doing the will of God, I had found only torment and no rest.<\/p>\n

Jesus told us plainly \u201cCome to me, all you who labor, and I will give you rest.\u201d He did not say to find the strength within ourselves, or to replenish ourselves from the well of our family and friends. All that remains now is to return to the source of my strength. I need to ask Him where He would have me go,then shake the dust from my sandals and head off in whatever direction He points me.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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