The Feline Love Guru<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My eldest daughter's cat, Yzma, has been visiting us for a few weeks while my daughter moves into her new apartment. Yzma was scheduled to be spayed this\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/02\/the-feline-love-guru.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Feline Love Guru\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My eldest daughter's cat, Yzma, has been visiting us for a few weeks while my daughter moves into her new apartment. 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{"id":3797,"date":"2015-02-04T13:48:23","date_gmt":"2015-02-04T18:48:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/?p=3797"},"modified":"2015-02-04T13:48:23","modified_gmt":"2015-02-04T18:48:23","slug":"the-feline-love-guru","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/02\/the-feline-love-guru.html","title":{"rendered":"The Feline Love Guru"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

$\"cat\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

This morning, my 5-year-old decided that he\u2019d heard enough, and sat down to have a heart-to-heart with the kitty. He\u2019s a big believer in tough love. Here\u2019s what he told her:<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, cat, so here\u2019s the thing \u2013 you\u2019re never going to get a boyfriend. It\u2019s just not going to happen. You\u2019re loud and \u2018noxious. You\u2019re pretty much the worst singer ever. <\/em>You hurt everyone\u2019s ears and I don\u2019t know why they don\u2019t tell you so I will.\u00a0 Plus, you keep flopping on the floor in front of everyone and tripping them, and boys don\u2019t like that. I know because I\u2019m a boy and I don\u2019t. You need to stop. And I don\u2019t know why you want to get married anyway because then you would have to go live with your husband and what if you don\u2019t like his family? Have you even thought about that? No. You didn\u2019t. So you\u2019re welcome. Now stop.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"