{"id":4093,"date":"2015-06-01T21:00:08","date_gmt":"2015-06-02T02:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/?p=4093"},"modified":"2015-06-01T21:34:51","modified_gmt":"2015-06-02T02:34:51","slug":"its-gimp-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/06\/its-gimp-day.html","title":{"rendered":"It’s Gimp Day"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

It\u2019s Gimp Day today. Did you know? One year since Ella first used a wheelchair. One year plus one day since the last time she took a step. Her six month Gimp Day was a celebration of community<\/a>. One year is a remembrance of all that is lost and changed.<\/p>\n

Last night I went on a mission down Memory Lane looking for video of her first steps. I was certain that I had it tucked away with all of the other children\u2019s milestones, but somehow I don\u2019t. I looked in my journal and found where I had written, \u201cMissed getting Ella\u2019s first steps on video. Haha I guess I\u2019ll have to get the second.\u201d But I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

I looked for videos of her playing soccer or dancing, and couldn\u2019t find them either. The fourth of seven \u2013 I guess that\u2019s why there are so few recordings of her. I\u2019d give anything to change that. I wish that I could turn something on and see her once again dancing and twirling her way across my screen. I ache for the sight of her healthy and whole bodied one more time \u2013 and I know she feels the same.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

She curled up next to me on the couch this morning and slowly turned the pages of our photo book from last year. Her finger traced across pictures from her one-and-only ballet recital, and a tear ran down her cheek.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish I could twirl,\u201d she sighed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can spin in your wheelchair,\u201d I reminded her.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not the same.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s one year today \u2013 the day we\u2019ve been alternately waiting for and hoping would never get here. The neurologist who helped to diagnose her last fall said, \u201cWait until it\u2019s been a year. Usually where they are at a year is where they\u2019re going to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

We had such hopes for today. Things we wished and prayed for. Things that just aren\u2019t.<\/p>\n

In my daydreams, I had pictured today with crutches and a return of movement and feeling in her legs. I\u2019d hoped for a path of recovery, and planned how we would celebrate. It doesn\u2019t matter how logical your head tells you to be, your heart hopes and plots all on its own.<\/p>\n

\"\"
I\u2019d hoped for today to look like this<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Our day doesn\u2019t look like what I\u2019d wished for, of course. It looks very much like every other day for the past year. There is no miracle cure.<\/p>\n

Even as Ella learned to fly in her chair and we learned to adapt to the new reality of our lives, we hoped to wake up and find it all a dream. Somewhere inside, I\u2019d hope that it was all a pinch-me-and-wake-me-from-it-all wild imagining of my mind.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Then we got to today, and it all became immensely more real. It\u2019s no longer the beginning. One year is real. It\u2019s concrete in ways too profound to explain.<\/p>\n

A friend of ours told her, \u201cHappy anniversary of becoming inspiring.\u201d<\/p>\n

She crinkled her nose and said, \u201cI never wanted to inspire anyone. I only wanted to be invisible.\u201d<\/p>\n

He hugged her and said, \u201cIt\u2019s a little late for that, I\u2019m afraid. But it\u2019s a new year, and New Year\u2019s are for resolutions. What are you planning on now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know. Maybe I have to figure out what I want to be first.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you still want to be invisible?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Now I think I want to change the world.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s Gimp Day today. Did you know? One year since Ella first used a wheelchair. One year plus one day since the last time she took a step. Her six month Gimp Day was a celebration of community. One year is a remembrance of all that is lost and changed. Last night I went on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1979,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4093","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nIt's Gimp Day<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It's Gimp Day today. Did you know? One year since Ella first used a wheelchair. One year plus one day since the last time she took a step. 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