Letting Him Be The Parent in Charge<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My eldest daughter was a competition level Irish Dancer. Once a month, we would pack our suitcases, make sure we had her solo dress, check that her wig\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Letting Him Be The Parent in Charge\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"My eldest daughter was a competition level Irish Dancer. Once a month, we would pack our suitcases, make sure we had her solo dress, check that her wig\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shoved to Them\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-10-20T11:39:35+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-10-20T11:43:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/458\/2015\/10\/bande.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"634\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"538\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Rebecca Frech\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Rebecca Frech\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html\",\"name\":\"Letting Him Be The Parent in Charge\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2015-10-20T11:39:35+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-10-20T11:43:07+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#\/schema\/person\/a480038559bb99863ca3ba86f368775d\"},\"description\":\"My eldest daughter was a competition level Irish Dancer. Once a month, we would pack our suitcases, make sure we had her solo dress, check that her wig\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Letting Him Be The Parent in Charge\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/\",\"name\":\"Shoved to Them\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#\/schema\/person\/a480038559bb99863ca3ba86f368775d\",\"name\":\"Rebecca Frech\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/53a07a84a2f9a9ba08b14e744e53ae70?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/53a07a84a2f9a9ba08b14e744e53ae70?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Rebecca Frech\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/author\/rfrech\"}]}<\/script>\n","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Letting Him Be The Parent in Charge","description":"My eldest daughter was a competition level Irish Dancer. Once a month, we would pack our suitcases, make sure we had her solo dress, check that her wig","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Letting Him Be The Parent in Charge","og_description":"My eldest daughter was a competition level Irish Dancer. Once a month, we would pack our suitcases, make sure we had her solo dress, check that her wig","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html","og_site_name":"Shoved to Them","article_published_time":"2015-10-20T11:39:35+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-10-20T11:43:07+00:00","og_image":[{"width":634,"height":538,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/458\/2015\/10\/bande.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Rebecca Frech","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Rebecca Frech","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html","name":"Letting Him Be The Parent in Charge","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#website"},"datePublished":"2015-10-20T11:39:35+00:00","dateModified":"2015-10-20T11:43:07+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#\/schema\/person\/a480038559bb99863ca3ba86f368775d"},"description":"My eldest daughter was a competition level Irish Dancer. Once a month, we would pack our suitcases, make sure we had her solo dress, check that her wig","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Letting Him Be The Parent in Charge"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/","name":"Shoved to Them","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#\/schema\/person\/a480038559bb99863ca3ba86f368775d","name":"Rebecca Frech","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/53a07a84a2f9a9ba08b14e744e53ae70?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/53a07a84a2f9a9ba08b14e744e53ae70?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Rebecca Frech"},"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/author\/rfrech"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1979"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4350"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4350\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

{"id":4350,"date":"2015-10-20T06:39:35","date_gmt":"2015-10-20T11:39:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/?p=4350"},"modified":"2015-10-20T06:43:07","modified_gmt":"2015-10-20T11:43:07","slug":"letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2015\/10\/letting-him-be-the-parent-in-charge.html","title":{"rendered":"Letting Him Be The Parent in Charge"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

$\"\"$ <\/p>\n

She would get up on stage, and I would sit the audience watching her feet flash and her long legs kick out. There was no other place I wanted to be. There are days I still wish that I could go back to watching my 10 year old dance. We reworked our family\u2019s schedules and finances to make it all possible for her, and I don\u2019t regret a moment of it.<\/p>\n

What I do regret was that it was never her dad.<\/p>\n

While she and I were riding the train in St Louis or exploring Atlanta, my husband was working from home and chasing after her brothers and sister. We had amazing adventures and a shared history of which he was never a part, and he paid the bills for it. It wasn\u2019t very often that he got to actually see <\/em>what it was that he was writing all those tuition and costuming checks for. While she was a dynamo on the stage, a request for her to dance at home was met with an awkward silence and an embarrassed blush. And so he saw her perform only at the annual show and the one competition that was in town. I\u2019m sad to say that it never occurred to me that he <\/em>might get to be the one to take her off for a weekend adventure.<\/p>\n

Who got to be the Parent in Charge was never really an issue with our boys. They both chose sports which kept them in the area and my husband cheered his way\u00a0 through karate belt ceremonies and soccer games. But even then, any time they did something out of the ordinary and fun, it was me who was with them and their dad who cheered us on from the sidelines and took the pictures.<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/p>\n

I know that he loves us, and is happy when we\u2019re happy, but it sometimes feels like he\u2019s missing out on all of the good stuff.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s why I\u2019ve started insisting that he take his turn as the Parent in Charge. While our boys don\u2019t travel, Ella goes more places than her sister aver dreamed of seeing. Between her wheelchair basketball games which are never in town because hers is the only local team<\/a> and her WCMX skating, she\u2019s a girl who\u2019s constantly on the go.<\/p>\n

This past weekend, I sent him with her to San Marcos, TX. I desperately wanted to take her since my childhood friends live a stones throw from there, but as I started figuring out our logistics, I realized that it needed to be him. I want him to have the same close relationship with her that I do, and that means that he needs to have a chance to do something besides simply going to work to fund our misadventures or staying home to take care of everyone else.<\/p>\n

And so with a tinge of \u201cI wish it was me,\u201d I sent them off this past Saturday. Within hours I knew I\u2019d done the right thing as my phone blew up with his texts of baskets made and pictures of them together.<\/p>\n

$\"\"$ <\/p>\n

It was then that I promised myself to give him more of this \u2013 more time in the center of their lives and less at the periphery. While someone needs to be the person in charge, there\u2019s no rule that says that person has to be me. We both work really hard, and while my work is mostly at home, there\u2019s no reason that he can\u2019t be the parent to go. Moms aren\u2019t the only parents who need a break sometimes, and to see the pay-off for all the hard work and practices. He didn\u2019t get to see it with our eldest, but I can make sure that he has a front row seat and gets to dance at the head of the parade for everyone else.<\/p>\n

$\"bande\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

**Don\u2019t miss anything! Follow Shoved to Them on Facebook <\/a>and Twitter<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"