{"id":809,"date":"2010-08-20T09:16:00","date_gmt":"2010-08-20T09:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2010\/08\/i-know-its-difficult-i-live-it-myself.html"},"modified":"2014-08-22T16:03:03","modified_gmt":"2014-08-22T21:03:03","slug":"i-know-its-difficult-i-live-it-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2010\/08\/i-know-its-difficult-i-live-it-myself.html","title":{"rendered":"I Know It&#8217;s Difficult &#8230;. I live It Myself"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><div style=\"color: lime;text-align: center\">From a talk with #1. With her permission. Because teenagers need to know that they\u2019re not alone.\u00a0 Another bonus of NFP\u2026it makes it easier to promote chastity and abstinence to your children.<\/div>\n<div style=\"color: lime;text-align: center\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"color: lime;text-align: left\"><span style=\"color: black\">I noticed the other day that you were listening with rapt attention to the girls at the pool as they talked about boys.\u00a0 I saw you scoot a little closer when they spoke of their boyfriends and kissing.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t say a word.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t have to.\u00a0 I saw your eyes. \u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"color: lime;text-align: left\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"color: lime;text-align: left\"><span style=\"color: black\">I know that they are fascinating, that the things they are discussing are completely foreign to you, and yet you want so badly to know more.\u00a0 They were talking about dating as if it were the most normal thing in the world for them.\u00a0 It was like a foreign language to someone whose friends aren\u2019t allowed boyfriends or dating.\u00a0 Those sweet homeschooled girls you hang out with get mushy over the idea of holding hands with a boy but never have.\u00a0 These girls have gone much further than that and they are younger than you.\u00a0 I know that your innocence makes you feel like a baby in these conversations.\u00a0 I know it because I was that girl once.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<div style=\"color: lime;text-align: left\"><\/div>\n<div style=\"color: lime;text-align: left\"><span style=\"color: black\">I have seen the way you look at the boy who lives across the creek.\u00a0 I think you have good taste.\u00a0 He\u2019s a good guy.\u00a0 I know that those experienced younger girls tease you about him and ask if you\u2019ve kissed him.\u00a0 I know that even though you believe in courting instead of dating, there\u2019s a part of you that really wants to know what it is to kiss a boy. I can see in your face the longing to know what they know, and you\u2019re beginning to wonder for the first time if your father and I aren\u2019t setting an impossibly high standard for you.<\/span>\n<p><span style=\"color: black\"> I get that married people telling a teenager to be chaste is a little like a skinny girl telling you that those size 2 jeans could be yours if only you gave up sugar and carbs as she munches on a chunk of cheesecake. It\u2019s easy for us to say because we don\u2019t have to live what we are asking of you.\u00a0 I know it sounds that way, my dear, but you are wrong.\u00a0 We do have to live that way.\u00a0 We know exactly how much we are asking of you because we have to live it ourselves.\u00a0<\/span><br><span style=\"color: black\"><br><\/span><br><span style=\"color: black\">We have discussed birth control and all of the reasons it is wrong.\u00a0 You can look around our house and see that we don\u2019t contracept.\u00a0 Six babies in 14 years makes that pretty apparent.\u00a0 Have you ever thought about what happens when it may not be a good time for babies?\u00a0 Like right now.\u00a0 It\u2019s August right now, and we\u2019re moving in May, exactly 9 months from now.\u00a0 While your dad and I are always thrilled with new people, this would be spectacularly bad timing.\u00a0 We would of course love anyone God sent to us, but this is less than ideal timing.\u00a0 So what do we do?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: black\"> <\/span><br><span style=\"color: black\">You and I are kind of in the same boat, sister.\u00a0 It is not a good time for either of us to be having a baby.\u00a0 What does this have to do with kissing?\u00a0 Kissing has a purpose.\u00a0 It is the beginning of the path that starts the fire that ends 9 months later in the delivery room.\u00a0 Your dad and I know this, so we don\u2019t even go on that path.\u00a0 We have learned that once it\u2019s started, you can\u2019t ever quite put that fire out.\u00a0 When you and your siblings go to bed, we sit up and talk, watch TV, futz about on the computer, or watch movies.\u00a0 We have to practice the same self-control we expect from you.\u00a0 Only, my cute boy doesn\u2019t live on the other side of the neighborhood creek, he sleeps next to me in the same bed, and lives in the same house.\u00a0 (And I\u2019m not talking about the peck I give him to say good-bye or hello.\u00a0 There\u2019s\u00a0 kissing and <i>kissing<\/i>, but you knew that.)<\/span><br><span style=\"color: black\"><br><\/span><br><span style=\"color: black\">Self-control and self-denial are hard to learn and even more difficult to practice.\u00a0 Your dad and I are still working at it.\u00a0 When you get to the place in your life that babies would be a blessing and not a burden, you will be so glad to be able to discover all of these things in a context of joy without tinges of guilt or fear.\u00a0 It is not always easy to live correctly in a world that doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 Prayer, determination and someone to talk to can help you do it (or not do it \u2026.) Just know that if you need to talk, I am here, and I do know how hard it is, because right now, I\u2019m living it, too.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From a talk with #1. With her permission. Because teenagers need to know that they\u2019re not alone.\u00a0 Another bonus of NFP\u2026it makes it easier to promote chastity and abstinence to your children. I noticed the other day that you were listening with rapt attention to the girls at the pool as they talked about boys.\u00a0 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1979,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-809","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I Know It&#039;s Difficult .... I live It Myself<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"From a talk with #1. With her permission. 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