In the comment section of my last post, Loretta wrote <\/p>\n
Just last night I was driving home alone from the grocery store feeling guilty because I feel differently about each of my children, not that I love each one any less but it is just different. I was thinking \u2018I need to ask The Mom about this\u2019. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Well, Loretta, I\u2019m so glad you asked.\u00a0 This question is one I have struggled with over the years.\u00a0 I agonized over whether or not I was playing favorites and if that were somehow damaging my children.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the conclusion I finally came to:<\/p>\n
I love all of my children an equal amount.\u00a0 There is not one of them I would not throw myself in harm\u2019s way to protect.\u00a0 There is not one of them whose life is not my life\u2019s work.\u00a0 There is not one of them whose dreams are not my dreams for them.\u00a0 I love and adore every single child with the whole of my heart.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure how it is possible to love six different people each with all of my being, but it is.<\/p>\n
While I love them all, some are easier to love than others.\u00a0 Which, in all honesty, means that they are more likable than their siblings.\u00a0 For instance, I have one child who bounds out of bed nearly every morning with a smile and a joy at merely being alive.\u00a0 This particular child is funny, smart, and I would hang out with even if he\/she were not mine.\u00a0 One word: delightful.\u00a0 Another of my children is a whiner.\u00a0 This child is always sure that he\/she is somehow being cheated out of whatever good thing is going on in our house.\u00a0 He\/She has been known to get up early on Christmas morning to count the presents under the tree and then pout if someone else got more.\u00a0 This is my \u201cnot fair\u201d child.\u00a0 One word: difficult.\u00a0 Now, don\u2019t get me wrong, the delightful child can be stubborn and willful, and the difficult child can be fun and playful, but in general they hang onto who they are.<\/p>\n
It is my job as their mom to love them both, pray for them both, help them both to become better people (although one seems to have a bit further to go).\u00a0 I see the good and the bad in both of them.\u00a0 That\u2019s my job.\u00a0 I\u2019m their mom.\u00a0<\/p>\n
It\u2019s hard to remember, as moms, that our children are unique individuals.\u00a0 They are not identical clones of each other.\u00a0 As individuals, it is natural that some should be easier to like than others.\u00a0 It\u2019s normal that we, as parents, have one whose company we prefer.\u00a0 Not because we love them more, but because they are just easier to get along with.\u00a0 I\u2019ve also found that preferences change as the children grow.\u00a0 Today\u2019s easy baby may be tomorrow\u2019s nightmare teenager.\u00a0 Parents just have to keep calm and keep it all in perspective.\u00a0 Difficult personalities can be trained out of or grown out of, and difficult children can become delightful adults.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not sure where we get the idea that moms aren\u2019t human beings who have normal preferences.\u00a0 We are and we do.\u00a0 There is nothing wrong with being an imperfect being, it\u2019s what you do with it that counts.<\/p>\n
While one child may be more likable, the trick is to keep a poker face and never let on.\u00a0 Feeling a preference is fine, acting on it is not.\u00a0 I spend more time with my difficult child because he\/she needs me more. This natural personality must be an awesome burden to have to carry around.\u00a0 This child needs all the help the Computer Guy and I can give.\u00a0 When our children were born, we accepted the responsibility of raising them.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t accept it on the condition that the children make it easy on us.\u00a0 We looked at those tiny babies and promised to love them, and care for them, and be the parents they needed us to be to the best of our abilities.\u00a0 If they don\u2019t all need the same parenting, how can we think that they all need the same love?\u00a0 We love them all the same amount, but each in their own special way.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In the comment section of my last post, Loretta wrote Just last night I was driving home alone from the grocery store feeling guilty because I feel differently about each of my children, not that I love each one any less but it is just different. I was thinking \u2018I need to ask The Mom […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1979,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-829","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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