{"id":85,"date":"2014-05-20T17:16:00","date_gmt":"2014-05-20T17:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2014\/05\/inadequate-or-can-you-bribe-a-chiropractor.html"},"modified":"2014-08-22T16:02:31","modified_gmt":"2014-08-22T21:02:31","slug":"inadequate-or-can-you-bribe-a-chiropractor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/rebeccafrech\/2014\/05\/inadequate-or-can-you-bribe-a-chiropractor.html","title":{"rendered":"Inadequate…or…Can you bribe a chiropractor?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
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I\u2019ll admit it, I was sitting here this afternoon feeling a little down on myself and trying not to cry. I just don\u2019t feel like I know enough. I don\u2019t know the questions to ask or the tests to push for. The doctors don\u2019t seem to be motivated to help, and are more interested in giving me the run-around than in looking for solutions.<\/p>\n

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At least 20 times a day I wonder (often out loud) why I\u2019m the only one who\u2019s even trying to come up with answers when I\u2019m the one without a medical degree!?! For goodness\u2019 sake, our chiropractor is the only doctor who has even tendered a guess! He\u2019s also the only one who will entertain my wild theories. Why is that?!?<\/i><\/div>\n

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I just don\u2019t know what to do, or where to go for help. I wish I could take the chiropractor with me to the neurology appointments, so that at least the one expert-type person who listens to me could speak medical-ese to the others who won\u2019t. Is it wrong to beg him to come with me? Is there a pocket-chiropractor that I could bring along and unfold so that he could sound smarter than I do? (Can you bribe medical people to advocate for you? Would a bottle of wine do it? I make a mean banana bread\u2026..just sayin\u2019)<\/div>\n
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We\u2019re on waiting lists for other doctors, and have appointments set for the \u201cfirst availables\u201d which are months away. In the meantime, I have to work with what I have at hand, and I\u2019m not doing it well.\u00a0<\/div>\n
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Kind people keep telling me that I\u2019m doing fine and that I\u2019ll learn, but I\u2019m not learning fast enough \u2013 in part because I don\u2019t know what to study.<\/i>\u00a0Other well-meaning souls tell me to take her everywhere and keep asking questions, to be a pest. I just smile and nod (and fight back the screams of frustration), because they clearly have never had to run the maze and gauntlet of finding a diagnosis in a highly specialized world. It\u2019s not a matter of not scheduling enough visits; it\u2019s a matter of not being able to see anyone for months. When there are only a few people specializing in a very specific area, there is going to be a waiting list, and sometimes that waiting list can be months long. I always want to ask how I\u2019m supposed to get in to see three doctors a day when those doctors can\u2019t see her for months.<\/div>\n
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All this delay and waiting is beginning to make other people lose patience with us. Our support system (small as it is) is crumbling as people get frustrated that we don\u2019t yet have a name to call this. Guess what? We\u2019re frustrated too!!! Partly because we\u2019re beginning to look like bad parents to our real-life outside world, because how can we still not know? If only we would _____________, then we\u2019d have answers. The funny thing is, no one can tell us what goes in that blank. They just assume that we should know that instinctively.<\/div>\n
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I feel that way too.<\/div>\n
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We should know. We should know how to help our baby. We should know where that is. Parents should just somehow magically know <\/i>these things. How can we not?<\/div>\n
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There\u2019s so much shame in having a child with a mystery illness, so many feelings of inadequacy\u2026.so much loneliness\u2026..<\/div>\n
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I can\u2019t end there\u2026 Here\u2019s a happy thing. A friend of mine is a brilliant photographer. She took my eldest daugther\u2019s senior portraits, and took these of Ella last weekend. (Eventually, I\u2019ll get her to take pics of each one of them.) These are just a few of the previews:<\/div>\n
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I\u2019ll admit it, I was sitting here this afternoon feeling a little down on myself and trying not to cry. I just don\u2019t feel like I know enough. I don\u2019t know the questions to ask or the tests to push for. The doctors don\u2019t seem to be motivated to help, and are more interested in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1979,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-85","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nInadequate...or...Can you bribe a chiropractor?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I'll admit it, I was sitting here this afternoon feeling a little down on myself and trying not to cry. I just don't feel like I know enough. 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