\u00a0I went to a baby shower last weekend for a young mom in her early 20s.\u00a0 I was at least 10 years older than anyone else in the room.\u00a0 They never treated me as the old lady.\u00a0 It was very nice of them.<\/span> You are a unique individual.\u00a0 What is the norm for 90% of the population may not be true for you at all.\u00a0 Learn to listen to your own body and your own instincts as much as you listen to medical personnel.\u00a0 If something doesn\u2019t sound or feel right, speak up.<\/p>\n Be friendly with the nurse who is assigned to care for you.\u00a0 She can be your biggest advocate and help.\u00a0 We all work harder for people we like.\u00a0 Nurses are no different. <\/p>\n Make the decision not to care if you offend the doctors or hurt the nurses feelings.\u00a0 It is your body.\u00a0 You deserve to be comfortable with any procedures being done to you.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not comfortable, they need to explain it until you are.\u00a0 You have the right to never be comfortable and just say \u2018no\u2019.\u00a0 They have to respect the decisions you make for your own care.\u00a0 If they don\u2019t, you have the right to have someone else take care of you.\u00a0 Ask for the some one else.<\/p>\n Be open minded enough that you can be persuaded if you need to be.<\/p>\n If you know that you can\u2019t speak up,hire a doula.\u00a0 She\u2019ll have the knowledge and expertise\u00a0 Let your husband take care of you emotionally.\u00a0 Let her ask all of the nosy questions you can\u2019t bring yourself to argue about.\u00a0 She\u2019ll have the knowledge you don\u2019t and a relationship with the hospital staff already in place.\u00a0 Alternatively, bring your nosy, bitchy friend.\u00a0 We all have one.\u00a0 Make sure she\u2019s already had a couple of kids so that she knows what she\u2019s talking about.\u00a0 Give her permission to ask anything she wants to know and to demand answers.<\/p>\n Your husband, your friend, your mom, and your doula are not in your body.\u00a0 They can\u2019t know what you are feeling unless you speak up and tell them.\u00a0\u00a0 Labor always looks scary and painful to new dads, so don\u2019t expect him to instinctively know that you are in more pain.\u00a0 You have to tell him.\u00a0 If he doesn\u2019t get it, tell anyone who walks into the room.\u00a0 You\u2019d be surprised how quickly the janitorial staff will get someone to help you.<\/p>\n Unless you have medical reasons for needing one, you don\u2019t necessarily need an IV, an epidural, or an episiotomy.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t want one, talk to your doctor or midwife before <\/i>you go into labor.\u00a0 You have a better chance of getting someone to listen when you are calm and rational.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to get people to consider you to be rational if you are in active labor.\u00a0 You may be<\/i> completely rational, but good luck getting anyone to realize that.\u00a0 <\/p>\n When I was in labor with #1, the nurse tried to stretch my cervix to get me to deliver faster.\u00a0 It was excruciating and tore my cervix.\u00a0 There is a difference between discomfort and excruciating pain.\u00a0 If you are crawling backwards up the bed to get away, tell her to get her hand out of there and DEMAND another nurse.\u00a0 Put your foot in the middle of her chest and push her away if you have to, firmly but gently.\u00a0 I don\u2019t care where the doctor wants to be or when he wants to be there.\u00a0 If he wanted to live by a schedule, he should have been a dermatologist.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t give in to the pressure for pitocin just to speed things up.\u00a0 Have them explain their reasoning, then make your own decision.\u00a0 There are valid uses for pitocin.\u00a0 A 4 o\u2019clock tee time is not one of them.<\/p>\n From the very beginning, your baby is your baby and you are his mom.\u00a0 There is nothing done within the first few moments after he is born which cannot wait (unless there are medical issues).\u00a0 You may tick off the baby nurse by not handing over your newborn to be weighed, measured and what-not right away.\u00a0 This is your child.\u00a0 You get to say \u2018No\u2019.<\/p>\n If you want to catch your breath before you hold the baby, it does not make you a bad mom to let them do all the medical stuff before you hold the baby.\u00a0 Catch your breath if you need to do it.\u00a0 There are no hard and fast rules for this mothering thing.\u00a0 Do what feels right for you in the moment and make no apologies.<\/p>\n If you want the baby in your room, you or your husband should go with him when he goes anywhere and make sure he is brought quickly back. It doesn\u2019t mean you are an overprotective or crazy mom. #3 once spent 4 hours in the nursery because the nurse forgot to bring him back and then shift change happened and he couldn\u2019t go anywhere until the new shift had been briefed.<\/p>\n If you would rather your newborn spend the night in the nursery so that you can recover from giving birth and catch a bit of sleep before you take him home, he\u2019ll be fine in the nursery.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean you don\u2019t love him.\u00a0 He will be fine.\u00a0 Just make sure that if you are breastfeeding you give instructions as to whether or not he can be given a bottle as you sleep or if you would rather he be brought to you to eat.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t assume that doctors or lactation consultants know everything about breastfeeding.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t assume that your doctor is supportive of breastfeeding.\u00a0 If it is important to you, stand your ground against formula unless it is medically necessary.\u00a0 Make sure you agree that it is medically necessary.<\/p>\n If you are breastfeeding, invest in a baby scale to reassure yourself that he\u2019s getting enough to eat.\u00a0 Educate yourself as to what is normal weight gain.\u00a0 Don\u2019t freak out if your baby is outside of the \u201cperfect norm.\u201d <\/p>\n There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby formula.\u00a0 Generations have been raised on it.\u00a0 Your baby will be fine.<\/p>\n Decide ahead of time if you want visitors at the hospital or at home.\u00a0 Be honest with family and friends about what you want.\u00a0 It is okay to change your mind once the baby is here.<\/p>\n Ask questions about everything.\u00a0 Don\u2019t accept the staus quo just because people tell you \u201cThis is the way we do this.\u201d\u00a0 You are responsible for this little person and you are responsible for you.\u00a0 Make sure that both of you are treated with love and respect.<\/p>\n The bottom line is that you are a grown woman now.\u00a0 These are adults talking to another adult.\u00a0 Remember that.\u00a0 They are not better than you, they just have more education about medicine.\u00a0 You are the expert on you.\u00a0 Talk to them that way.\u00a0 Expert to expert.<\/p>\n You are a strong and powerful woman.\u00a0 Give yourself permission to be that woman. <\/p>\n If things don\u2019t go the way you thought they would, learn from it and move on.\u00a0 It\u2019s really all about you, your husband, and your sweet baby.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0I went to a baby shower last weekend for a young mom in her early 20s.\u00a0 I was at least 10 years older than anyone else in the room.\u00a0 They never treated me as the old lady.\u00a0 It was very nice of them.They asked if I had any advice for young moms-to-be from someone who […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1979,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-866","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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They asked if I had any advice for young moms-to-be from someone who has been there a few times.\u00a0 I love that they asked.\u00a0 I am not a medical professional.\u00a0 I am just a woman who has had 8 pregnancies.\u00a0 This is what I have learned.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>
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If you are an experienced mom, feel free to chime in.<\/span><\/p>\n